No Bean Burritos on the Bus! BitchScopes for August 15-22

This week feels like a real mixed bag. Intuitively I feel like that Aquarius moon cracked open some unexpected things. Uranus (Aquarius’ ruler) is so sneaky. I swear no matter how much I study a personal transit and try to anticipate what and how it will hit my chart/my life, if Uranus is involved, there’s no predicting. Stuff that was activated last week is necessary for progress. Aquarius is pretty fixated on progress and isn’t great at taking no for an answer. As the sign of humanitarianism and vision and hopes & dreams, there’s a lot of emotion invested, even though you might not know it by looking at a stoic Aquarius. So regardless of how you did or didn’t do ritual for the Full Moon, it activates what it activates, and it will do its damndest to move you toward your dreams (or sometimes your North Node). I think that Aquarius is pretty no bullshit, so whatever came up for you, trust it, even if it meant letting go of something so you can receive something else.

We could be kinda moody, withdrawn, and feeling uncertain at times this week. General feelings of insecurity and feeling like we don’t know what the fuck we are doing are likely “What the fuck am I doing here? What’s the point of this?” ….those kinds of feelings might present themselves. Don’t get trapped in thoughts that are existentially gloomy. The moods are temporary, and if you don’t tangle yourself all up in them, they pass pretty quickly. We do have a lovely trine between Jupiter and Venus mid week to soothe us and possibly gift us something.

Communication within relationships looks like it may be tense or strained in fits and spurts. Communication in general is something you may want to be aware of, as old resentments and criticisms can come back to memory, creating just a general air of pissiness. Oh goody. Be compassionate with both your partner and yourself.

Mercury will enter its shadow phase this week, setting up for its retrograde at the beginning of September. Mercury is in Virgo, a sign of rulership. Themes and conversations that come up mid to late week and into the next couple weeks should be noted, as they might give you a hint about Mercury retrograde’s flavor for your chart. It really isn’t something to fear, but it is something to be aware of. Frankly I always found it very amusing when I was working in a corporate job and one day everyone would be buzzing around freaking out because all the computer systems crapped out, or the delivery trucks broke down. Knowing it was Mercury just gave me a chuckle. (After a few years, the office manager would stop by my desk and ask “Is Mercury in whatever?! Yep. Argh!) Of course when it is your own car or computer, it's a real pain in the ass. 

Try to view Mercury retrograde as a maintenance period, like an annual check up with your doctor  (which could be a great task to take care of during Mercury in Virgo!). You gotta have tests run. You gotta go through the annoying appointments and maybe wear the paper gown. If you’re a vagina-haver, you get the ol’ mascara wand to the cervix visit, if you’re a non vagina haver, you get the ol’ turn your head and cough situation. Maybe you gotta get scoped. Maybe you gotta drive across town to get a mammogram, and wear another stupid paper gown. Then go get a bunch of blood taken so they can run tests to tell you that your whatever is too high and your blahblahblah is too low. It's annoying, but this is the maintenance of being in a flesh suit. Ultimately it's for your own good, right? So you can make corrections and address things that might be not so great…same with Mercury retrograde.

Mars moves into Gemini this week, and will be in Gemini for a flippin long ass time, (because he will retrograde in Gemini in late October, but we’ll freak out about that later). So both Mars and Mercury have moved into the sign in which they will retrograde, and that’s what we are going to look at in this week’s scopes.

This is a good week to be mindful of your words, how you use them, and if you’re using the right ones. We are gonna be in this Mars-Gemini bus for months, so like…no one order the bean burrito and poison the air! Capiche? Speak with intentional kindness when you feel edgy. But do speak. Speak the fuck up! Speaking your mind, verbally asserting yourself, asking questions about everything, breaking through mental blocks, reprogramming negative thinking, and diving into things that we are curious about are all on the menu, and will be for months. Let’s make this bus ride happy and productive, eh?



ARIES - Speak up, Bitch, they can’t hear you in the back. This coming season is inviting you to examine how you use your words, particularly at work. Start paying attention to critical language you use with others, and with yourself. Sometimes that critical Virgo eye is a major problem solver and sometimes a catastrophe preventer. But if you find that you are too hard on yourself, you’re using negative language about your body, or your words seem to deflate your co-workers or employees, take time to figure out how to do that better. A public speaking class or workshop on crafting winning emails could be good for you as well. Find your authentic voice (like the one Britney Spears has when she’s not in her baby voice), and start speaking your truth more often.

TAURUS - You may need to watch your wallet with Mars in your 2nd house for so many months. Mars can be impulsive, and you may be drawn to make expensive purchases. This is a good time to start tracking your spending, creating a budget, or devising a savings plan. You will have a lot of creative energy with Mercury in Virgo transiting your 5th house, so you can come up with creative solutions to save money or solve problems. Expenses around your home which may or may not be planned can be pretty easily managed if you’ve put a little time into lining up your financial ducks.

GEMINI - Having Mars in your 1st house of self and identity will give you a much needed burst of energy to get you through the rest of the year. You will need to be aware of the tendency to be impulsive or too selfish, but mostly, you should enjoy the hell out of the next few months. Having Mercury retrograding in your 4th house, you may just become very bothered by details around your home. Mars may provide you with the push you need to get projects finished that have fallen to the wayside this summer. You will be able to accept opportunities that show up for you this fall in a way that you haven’t felt ready to do for months. Just keep your ego in check once in awhile.

CANCER - Oh good, a chance for Cancers to be moody AF. With Mars hanging in your 12th house for many months, you might just be …gasp…moody. I’m just being cheeky. I live with a teenage Cancer so …just let me have this moment. I do actually know many Cancers who aren’t really moody, but they are rather introverted. Some Cancers are both. In your 12th house you might feel less social and maybe a bit out of touch. Mars isn’t real happy in this position, but this is a great time to work on your spiritual self. Get curious about your past lives, or your shadow behaviors. Maybe examining ways you repress yourself. Mercury will be hanging out for a while in your 3rd house, really giving you a chance to fine tune communications, or proof read your book (or someone else’s). Hide out with your red pen and some comfort foods.

LEO - Shoot for the stars and chase your dreams! Having Mars in your 11th house for so long bodes really well for making your dreams a reality and bringing your creative vision to life. You may be more ambitious than usual, especially when the Sun moves out of your sign and you finally take off your birthday tiara. You could be a pretty unstoppable force this Fall. Be aware that if you have to work in groups or closely with others, you might dominate a bit too much. Leave room at the table for others. Mercury in your 2nd house will only benefit your ambition by adding a good head for business.

VIRGO - Bitch, get your entrepreneurship textbooks out of storage! You’ve got Mars in your 10th house for a good long time and Mercury building strength in your first house of self. You could definitely launch a business this fall if you wanted to. If that’s of no interest to you then just know that your public facing self and your individual self are both really strong. If you need a social media presence, advertising, a new look, a new job, it could happen soon. This placement for Mars also means you may have strained relationships with authority figures, so check yourself, unless you are ready to jump ship. Your skills for self expression will be bolstered, so you can use your words in whatever way you like. Just watch for impulsiveness and know that for every action, there’s a reaction, and prepare accordingly. Otherwise, go for it!

LIBRA - Your thoughts and feelings will run deep this retrograde season. With Mercury in your 12th house, you may feel more introverted. You may be introspecting about your own nature, your shadow behaviors, feel more compassionate, mystical and sensitive. Meanwhile, Mars in your 9th house couldn’t be more extroverted. Mars will be in this placement for months, giving you the itch to experience more of life on all levels. Travel, languages, cultural exchange, hiking, adventures, and anything that keeps Mars from being bored. In Sagittarius’ domain, boredom is not likely. I would advise you to buy a journal, and some hiking shoes.

SCORPIO - You have an interesting time coming up with Mars. And I don’t mean “interesting” like “oh shit!” I truly am curious what will come out of this for you. Mars in Gemini is camping out in your 8th house. Mars is one of the traditional rulers of Scorpio so he’s happy in the 8th. Your intuition is likely to be very strong, as is the will to transform something in your life. The next several months offer you a chance to really renovate some aspect of yourself or your life. If you aren’t consciously aware, this placement could be difficult and snarky and willful. Then you have Mercury in your 11th house of hopes and dreams. It will retrograde there, which gives you a chance to “re-think” some of your visions, dreams and plans. This is a powerful time! Go get em!

SAGITTARIUS - All your relationships are going to be strongly emphasized in the coming months. Mars in Gemini lands in your 7th house of contractual relationships (marriage, business partners etc). You are pretty strong willed, so if you dig your heels in during this time, you are gonna get some blow-back. Learn to not be a “right fighter” and jus try to let some disagreements go. This can be hard in some relationships, but it will be so beneficial if you can do it. Then you’ve got Mercury in your 10th house, and it will retrograde there. This is your public persona, career house. I feel during this time you will find some real practical solutions to issues around your career, your boss, or your public image. When weighing options and solutions, keep it simple.

CAPRICORN - Mars will be in your 6th house for a good long time, emphasizing service to others, as well as anything that relates to your body, how you use it, and issues with it. If you have an old sports injury, you might have good luck finding the right doctor for the issue during this time. You will be very detail oriented, especially at work, and possibly to a fault. Don’t get in bickering matches unnecessarily. Mercury will retrograde in your 9th house. This is a great time to learn or re-learn a foreign language, or study philosophy from other cultures. You’re likely to get the travel bug, though most of the Caps I know have the travel bug all time. You may find yourself reconsidering certain beliefs that you hold.

AQUARIUS - Your creative energy will run high while Mars is in your 5th house. Bust out those creative projects and have some fun. Your energy will be high during this time, but you’ll need to be aware of being obnoxious or an attention hog. Meanwhile, Mercury is deep diving in your 8th house of all things intimate and taboo. This transit could give you a sharper tongue than usual, so be careful how you speak to people you care about. Mentally you are likely to be introspective, and you may even feel secretive. This could be a time when old stuff comes up for you to heal and transform. Listen to your intuition, or work on developing it during this time.

PISCES - The rest of this year you will feel a pull toward home. Mars will be camping out in your front yard…aka your 4th house. Desire for security will be a strong focus. You might feel a bit more homebody-ish than usual. Mercury will transit your 7th house and retrograde there as well, so communication issues with your partner are very possible. Those issues can also be improved during this time. Art could be very soothing for you, so maybe its time to redecorate your home, hang up some new wall art, or go to a museum with your honey.

PLANETS THIS WEEK

SUN → Virgo
MERCURY - Virgo
VENUS - Leo
MARS → Gemini
JUPITER - Aries (Rx)
SATURN - Aquarius (Rx)
URANUS - Taurus
NEPTUNE - Pisces (Rx)
PLUTO - Capricorn (Rx)
CHIRON - Aries (Rx)
CHARIKLO - Aquarius (Rx)
CHAOS - Cancer
N. NODE - Taurus
CERES - Leo
PALLAS - Gemini
JUNO - Pisces
VESTA → Aquarius (Rx)
LILITH - Cancer
ERIS - Aries (Rx)
SIRIUS- Cancer (fixed)



TRANSITS THIS WEEK

Monday 15 Aug

mercury trine N Node
Pallas square Juno

Tuesday 16 Aug

Venus opposite Chariklo

Mercury trine Uranus
Mercury opposite Juno

Wednesday 17 Aug

Sun trine Eris
Sun quincunx Neptune

Thursday 18 Aug

Mercury square Pallas
Venus trine Jupiter
Mercury quincunx Saturn
Vesta trine Chaos
Saturn trine Pallas

Friday 19 Aug

Sun quincunx Pluto

Saturday 20 Aug

Mars enters Gemini
Mars square Vesta 
Mercury enters shadow phase (Shadow begins at 24° virgo; Rx 9/9 at 8° Libra, end 10/2 at 24° Virgo; exit shadow at 10/16 8° Libra)

Sunday 21 Aug

Mercury opposite Neptune
Uranus sextile Juno
Mercury quincunx Eris

Monday 22 Aug

Sun enters Virgo
Mercury trine Pluto
Venus conjunct Ceres
Sun opposite Vesta