Virgo season - trust the process - BitchScopes for August 29-September 5th

Since I entered my 40s (almost a decade ago, but nevermind!) and my kids have been so busy, I started to absolutely delight in calendar planner days that had nothing on them. I mean, the level of joy I am filled with by a day with nothing scheduled to do is matched only by…well i don’t know. Free days are the highest octave of joy right now. That is how I feel when I see a day with no major astrological transits. It’s bullshit of course, just a little trick my mind plays, because even if there is “nothing” major going on in the sky, your personal chart can have aspects at any time. But still, empty days are fucking delightful! And we have one next Saturday! Granted, Sunday is chock full, but let us just enjoy that blank day! I am calling it “no pants day”. If you remember listening to my radio show in the early days, I talked a lot about having a blanket fort, and hating pants. I even have a bracelet that says “fuck wearing pants”. I value that women can wear pants if they want, because the feminists of the 50s and 60s made sure of that. But I also value that I don’t have to fucking wear them! I have always hated pants. I hated pants when I was young and hot, and I hate pants now that I am old and hot in a different way! (snort) So I declare empty astrology days as “NO PANTS DAY”. And so it shall be, huzzah!

Overall this week, I can’t help but notice that the “nodes of fate” are having a moment. The nodes of fate are the north and south nodes of the moon, and they refer to our destined path. The south node speaks to what we came in to this life being gifted with or good at, and the north is where we are headed. We have choices as to how we get there, but it is one way to view our soul purpose. There’s a cute new movie on Netflix called “Look Both Ways” which is making me think about the nodes of fate. We get to where we are supposed to be. When we listen to our inner guidance and have faith and get out of our own way, the journey is less wandering and cluttered and nutty. But really, very few people have a straight line with no detours to their destiny. Free Will is and will always be Queen of Humanity.

So with the nodes of fate action, I am reminded that we are in the midst of pretty big realignments, both as a society, and globally, but also individually. The way we feel valued is changing. The things we value and how we express that is changing. We are refining our dreams and goals and picking up old projects and putting away stagnant ones. And some of us are standing in the middle of the desert going “where the fuck am I?” We have all been there. Hydrate, ask for directions, follow your gut (the sun), listen to your needs (the moon), and you will get back on the road. But these times we wander are not for nothing. Someday I’ll come back from the other side and explain what they are for, but I know deeply that they have purpose. We are also never alone in the desert, or the forest or wherever your soul might be wandering. Remember that.

Mars enters his shadow this week, giving us little hints about what his retrograde behavior might bring up for us. Mars will be in Gemini for 7 freaking months. That’s a long time. Gemini could make Mars more impulsive, or sharp tongued, so just be aware. Impulsivity is not always a bad thing…we call it spontaneous when we want to sound sophisticated and energetic. We call it impulsive when we think someone is being dumb. The very idea that I just split that concept into 2 connotations is so very Gemini of me. Haha.

I still sense some friction and “figuring shit out” energy in relationships, and in how we give and receive nurturing. What’s your love language? That’s an interesting thing to look into and can help you understand your relationships better. We often, if not usually, receive love in a very different way than we give it. Keeping in that relationship vein, Venus makes a number of somewhat quiet but significant moves this week before she moves into Virgo. She is a little restless and bored with ordinary connection. She’s pushing the envelope and testing things. She’s a little selfish and self centered right now in these last degrees of Leo. There may be some necessary shake ups that will settle and fall back into place when she enters Virgo.

I also see some sassy rebellion and some criticism coming. It feels like criticism we give, but it would be silly to think that door only swings one way. When you are trying to manifest and receive, we often put filters on the energy we want to come to us. We want to receive whatever - money, a new job, a raise, a relationship, a better relationship, better health, a different house, financial security etc. etc. etc…all the things we try to manifest, you have to open yourself to receiving everything the Universe has for you, because the Universe has your back!

One of my Sweary Spirituality cards says something like this: when you order a pizza and it arrives, you (ok this is a pre-covid analogy hahaha) open the door and take the pizza. You exchange money, and then you eat your pizza. What would it be like if you didn’t open the screen door? It is an incomplete exchange. You’ve been given a pizza, but you are going to try to eat it through the screen door? Ask the pizza guy to take it out of the box and hold it up against the screen so you can just smell it or lick it? If you open the door, you may let a fly in, and you may not like the energy of the pizza person, or it's (gasp) the wrong kind of pizza! But if you want to receive, fully, you must be open to both good and bad things. You might get a raise or a job but feel a little criticized in your review, or like your probation period is weird. You might have to move houses and it's a real drag, but then end up in a way better place (this happened to me! I had been manifesting a new house for a bit. It didn’t come the way I thought it would, but…here we are!) . Virgo loves a process, loves breaking it down, refining it, making it work. The Universe has a process that we are not able to fully see or grasp. But trust! Trust the process. Take the filter off your receiving mechanisms. Open the door all the way.

 

I got 2 new cat tarot decks (and another one coming. What is my problem?!), so I’m going to pull a couple cards for each sign to see what September is all about for each of us. Meow. (Yeah, sorry I didn’t have this for Leo season, but hey, Venus is in Leo for a few more days!)



ARIES - Virgo rules your 6th house of work, routine and habit. What is working for you and what isn’t? What processes need to be refined or maybe even thrown out? For you I pulled the Page of Pentacles and the Magician. Your willingness to learn gives you access to fast manifestation of what you want. Your natural enthusiasm for learning creates a vibe that allows things in...like the whole pizza, cuz you were hungry and you knew it would come!  There could be a raise this month, of your student loan may come through. You’ve trusted the process! Eat your pizza!

TAURUS - September looks juicy for you. Virgo sits in your 5th house of romance. You may start really nurturing a new relationship (or rekindling an existing one). The 5th house also rules creativity, expression and play. The cards I pulled for you are the 10 of pentacles from both decks! 2 tens can indicate a marriage, so maybe you’ll meet “the one” in September, or actually get married. There could be a non-marital kind of union as well, but it would involve some creative project or passion. There’s definitely money involved in whatever this union is. This could also be an estate or inheritance settling. Definitely more financial security for you in this month than in the last few!

GEMINI - Virgo rules your 4th house of home, so you may have a keen eye on organizing things in your home or otherwise strengthening your safe place. The cards for you are the Ace of Pentacles/Coins and the Page of Wands. There is so much enthusiasm in these 2 cards! There’s definitely a new venture/adventure coming, and it is likely to bring money with it. The Page of wands offers so much inspiration for what this thing is. This will increase your sense of security (probably because of the money, but also your confidence). Your 4th house is where your parents (or whomever) raised you and gave you a foundation off which to launch. Whatever new project this is will offer a shoring up of that foundation and a chance to re-launch in your current phase of life.

CANCER - Virgo rules your 3rd house, so your communication and the intake of knowledge and curiosity are emphasized in September. Your mind will be very stimulated and busy, and this could be a great time for you to write. So your 2 cards are The Chariot and the Tower. Now don’t freak out about the tower. The fact that both of these are major arcana means this is pretty big energy. There’s movement, and that movement leads to an end of something. Endings and beginnings are 2 sides of the same coin. Whatever this is, it isn’t awful. Jarring perhaps. But the thing that ends, likely unexpectedly, will help you advance even further. I pulled a 3rd card for clarity and it's the 6 of wands, which is about progress and victory. So whatever this is is actually an advancement and a victory for you.

LEO - well, Kitty, Virgo in your 2nd house is great for money and money management. Security will be front of mind for you. So much so, that according to the cards, you may be focusing on the losses rather than the gains. Your 2 cards are the 4 and 5 of cups. The 4 of cups is boredom and major discontent, and the 5 of cups is crying over spilt milk, and dwelling on the negative. There are 5 cups and 3 of them are spilled and if that’s what you focus on, sure that’s gonna suck. But there are still 2 cups upright. Just to soothe you, I pulled a 3rd card and its the Sun. It doesn’t get much clearer than this - success and happiness are available, but you may need to adjust your attitude. Perhaps your security needs to come from more than just money, and maybe you are better off than you think.

VIRGO - Obviously the month of September is your season, Virg. This is the time when your light shines just a bit brighter and the bleck of the Leo season where you may have felt pouty and negative is behind you. You feel enthused and ready for a new season of you. Your cards are the Lovers and the 4 of cups. You share that 4 of cups with Leo, who is also feeling discontented. In your case, a romantic relationship may not be filling your cup or meeting your needs and you’re feeling bored and dissatisfied. You might be dating and just not enjoying the process or the people you’re meeting. The clarifying card I picked for you is the 8 of cups. One of my dear friends, Crisann, described this as “my ass looks good as I walk away”, and I have never forgotten that. It lifts the sometimes heavy message of the 8 of cups into something more about choosing something better, and looking good in the process.

LIBRA - Generally speaking, the few weeks before our birthdays are often a little mopey and depressed. In part, because we are thinking of aging, and what we haven’t done, and who will come to our birthday party, etc. But astrologically, the few weeks before our birthday, the sun is transiting our 12th house of mopiness and loneliness. Virgo is there for you now, and you may be very self critical at this time. But your cards for September are The Fool and the 3 of Cups. The fool sets out on new and unknown adventures. He has trust in the Universe and the process, and is excited about what’s to come. The 3 of cups is a card of celebration and joy. Good things are going to happen, if they aren’t already. Don’t be too hard on yourself or get too much in your own head.

 


SCORPIO - Virgo lands in your 11th house of collaboration, and you likely would rather work alone. However, there is a lot you can offer here. You have support for your visions in this placement, and others will benefit from your skillset as well. Its a win-win! However, these cards are a caveat. The Queen of Pentacles/Coins and the 10 of wands. This is a be careful what you wish for kind of line up. The Queen of Coins is grounded and financially secure. She enjoys her station. The 10 of wands is very burdened by what he carries. And indeed, we can wish we were rich as hell, but even the rich have problems. The bigger your life, the bigger the problems. I pulled a clarifying card and its the 2 of pentacles. Find your balance. This is what this Sun in the 11th house will give you - the balance between what you offer and earn as an individual and what you contribute to the group, thereby sharing the burden. You need support!

SAGITTARIUS - Virgo in your 10th house of career and public image means you’re under a bit of a scrutiny, or under a career microscope. This is like review season at work. Look for an authority figure you admire and trust, and even if you don’t personally know them, pull on their wisdom and energy. Your cards are the Hanged Man and the 2 of Cups. The Hanged Man says surrender to the process and even the criticism. Learn from it. That 2 of cups means you are likely to meet someone significant, with whom you share a strong connection. Maybe this is even someone you work with, or your relationship and career are in conflict, in which case that hanged man leaves you with a decision to weigh! This is where that authority figure can come in to help you. Decisions decisions. 

CAPRICORN - Now that the possibly oppressive heat and nonsense of summer is coming to a close, you might start thinking about the world at large more. What Virgo adds to this is ‘service’. Maybe you’re ready to volunteer somewhere. Or perhaps you’re being viewed as a teacher or guide somewhere in your life. Appropriately, your cards are Judgement and the 9 of Wands. Judgement says “pencils down, the test is over” and the 9 of Wands is like “oh shit, how’d I do?” You know what? You did fine. Because you’ve persevered, pushed forward, and been determined like only a Cap can be. You are resilient AF and victory will be yours. Judgement lets you graduate to the next phase or calling.

AQUARIUS - Virgo hits your 8th house, so there’s no better time to get your debts and loans organized and put in a system to pay them off. That’s the bonus of Virgo. The challenge here is finding balance in what you share with others. Don’t be too guarded and buttoned up, but don’t spill everything on the proverbial first date either. It's the virgin/whore dichotomy. Your cards are the 8 of Cups and the Devil. Girl, walk away from whatever is taking too much of your power! Someone is forcing you into one of the virgin/whore roles and you don’t need that shit. This could be a sexual relationship, a job, or that debt. Virgo also got the 8 of cups and it is the “my ass looks good as I walk away”. You are off to find something better, no question. 

PISCES - Virgo lands in your 7th house of contractual relationships. If a contract went south recently, this Virgo time might offer clarification, or a solution that serves both parties better. There is nurturing energy available for your marriage or partner, and it is probably much needed. Virgo can also be critical, so if there is a clearing of the air, make sure it is kind and productive as well as honest and fair. Your cards are the Page of Swords and the 8 of Wands. Nobody better be in your way this month, because you are ready to move. The Page of Swords is restless and ready to challenge anyone is his way. The 8 wands are already in the air and movement is happening! The thing is going to come together! Congrats!

PLANETS THIS WEEK

SUN - Virgo
MERCURY - Libra
VENUS → Virgo
MARS - Gemini
JUPITER - Aries (Rx)
SATURN - Aquarius (Rx)
URANUS - Taurus (Rx)
NEPTUNE - Pisces (Rx)
PLUTO - Capricorn (Rx)
CHIRON - Aries (Rx)
CHARIKLO - Aquarius (Rx)
CHAOS - Cancer
N. NODE - Taurus
CERES - Leo
PALLAS - Gemini
JUNO - Pisces
VESTA - Aquarius (Rx)
LILITH - Cancer
ERIS - Aries (Rx)
SIRIUS- Cancer (fixed)


TRANSITS THIS WEEK

Monday 29 Aug
Pluto quincunx Pallas
Ceres square North Node


Tuesday 30 Aug 
Sun quincunx Jupiter
Ceres quincunx Juno

Wednesday 31 Aug 
Mercury trine Chariklo
Venus quincunx Neptune
Venus trine Eris
Juno sextile North Node

Thursday 1 Sept
Mars sextile Jupiter
Chiron square Lilith

Friday 2 Sept
Venus opposite Vesta
Mercury opposite Jupiter
Venus quincunx Pluto

Saturday 3 Sept
-
NO PANTS DAY

Sunday 4 Sept
Uranus square Ceres
Mars enters shadow phase
Mercury trine Mars
Juno trine Lilith
Venus sextile Pallas
Venus enters Virgo

Monday 5 Sept
Venus sextile Chaos

Coping by Cleaning - BitchScopes for August 22 - 29

Ok gang, buckle up. If I am any indication of the coming energy, and I often am, we are in for a very busy, very distracted, possibly chaotic week with some guaranteed power struggles. I try to keep things positive around here in Bitchdom, and we will bring it around to that, but I’m not going to blow sunshine up your skirt about this energy.

First, I was rather taken aback that we are already at a New Moon. I guess the start of the school year really threw me off because I swear the Full Moon was just a couple days ago, but…obviously it was 2 weeks ago!

You know I love a new moon, but this one has me giving some side eye. More on that in a moment.

The Sun enters Virgo on Monday, Uranus stations retrograde on Wednesday and Mercury enters Libra on Thursday. This amount of personal feeling change is bound to make many people feel a bit wobbly. But we will get our shit together quickly. The Sun in Virgo is such a great opportunity to get your house in order - be it your literal house, your school backpack, your car, your office or your kitchen…whatever needs organization and cleaning, you will have the focus for it. Thank Goddess because I couldn’t find focus with both hands and a flashlight today! Mars in Gemini might have your brain a little squirrelly, but if you can find a way to work with it, you can make great progress and have some cool breakthroughs and ideas. So the brain will be quite active, and I would say probably too active. This is normal for me. I am a Gemini rising with the Sun in the 3rd house, and an air sign sun. My brain is a shit show. Lately I feel like I have full blown ADHD, and frankly I probably do. But who cares, this isn’t about me. If YOUR brain is on fire this week, find a way to get quiet. Put in some earphones and listen to a podcast or some classical music, or some punk or a guided meditation or whatever the eff works for you (all of those work for me, in case you wondered). When I have anxiety, which some of you might definitely experience this week and next, I listen to a playlist that is nothing but different versions of Ave Maria. That song just soothes me. Again, not about me so..

There are too many aspects that indicate impulsivity, tempers, anger, and toxic masculinity this week for me to ignore. Which brings me back to that side eye I’m giving to this new moon. This moon is in Virgo, and it makes an unpleasant and confrontational square to Mars. It is also influenced by some MEH energy between Venus and Saturn and Uranus. That fucking Saturn square Uranus aspect that is defining much of this year is working toward exactness again in October. Feeling sad, undervalued, criticized, and restless are very possible. This is not a moon where I would recommend making new

wishes or setting new intentions, instead, I would write down what your existing wishes and intentions have been for the last couple cycles, and tidy them up. Streamline. Declutter that vision board. Eliminate rather than add.

And now we know why I’m side eyeing this situation.

There’s a tendency to be too fixated on one’s path this week, too. Rather than worrying about where you’re headed, you’d be better off just trying to remain present and adjusting to the bumps as they come. Many cosmic corrections are being made on both a personal and global level, and we aren’t going to know where we’re going until we get there. If you focus too much on “(said with gritted teeth) this.is.where.I’m.going!”, you could end up self sabotaging and rebelling in a cutting-off-your-nose-to-spite-your-face way.

However, not one to leave you with an empty bag of hopes… There is great potential for getting shit done and having creative bursts of genius. Chaos is part of the creative process. If you are halfway through cleaning your fridge and you get a bout of anxiety, no matter how much it pains you to leave the project half finished, step away and dance, or finger paint, or go slap on some crazy eye shadow and give yourself some space to play. I promise you will get back to that fridge cleaning with more focus and energy!



ARIES - This Virgo situation falls in your 6th house, naturally. So if you have any habits that you want to break, this is a great cycle to do it. New career opportunities are likely to come up over the next several weeks (even after Virgo has moved on). Do you have too many irons in the fire? Are you over burdened at work? Does your work area need a make over? This is also a good time to look at your body and physical health. If you’ve been putting off Dr. appointments, get your act together and go. Your words have the golden touch and the charm to get what you want in partnerships and at work, at least up to the point that Mercury retrogrades, and possibly during that time. Craft your emails and proposals with care and it’ll pay off.

 

TAURUS - It is time for you to lighten the eff up, babe. Fun…you need some. This period of time bodes very well for romance. Shared work, passions and hobbies are great for your relationships. You could meet someone at work or school that is equally as charming as you. The way you operate, manage, and deal with tasks and finances could be changing. It is likely just a change in tactic and quality, rather than in quantity.


GEMINI - This Virgo action falls in your 4th house of home and family. Get that mud room organized, clean out the closets or the garage, do some Marie Kondo’ing and streamline items, processes, and the way your house flows. Focus on paring things down and getting rid of things that no longer are needed or work for your routine. Involve the kids if possible. Once you’ve made some progress, establish a weekly or monthly game night or movie night with your family, or close friends to keep playtime a part of your ongoing routine.


CANCER - It’s time to clean up your email inbox, your laptop, your computer that has files from 10 years ago, and throw out that pile of junk mail that is accumulating in your kitchen drawer. If you want to do a Christmas mailing, start working on it now. It's not a bad idea to start getting gift lists started either. This is also the time of year I recommend that you remove some items from your to do lists. Write down everything that needs to be done in the short and long term (within 6 weeks and within 6 months) and see what you can cross off. You might be surprised that some things are already done, and other things just don’t matter anymore!


LEO - Chances are strong for improved finances this year. Part of this will come from a good budget. Don’t underestimate the idea of finding money just by looking at everything on paper. But career boosts and salary increases are also very possible by the end of this year. By march of next year, you will be in a very different and improved situation. If you need to update your resume and polish it up, this is a great time of year to do it. You will have Mercury in your 3rd house and all these other influences around your dreams, your career, and your money.


VIRGO - Changes to how you operate in the world are going to benefit your bottom line and your career. You’ve changed…probably a lot…in the last year or so. You are a different person in many ways, so the way you approach things you’ve always done need to change too. These changes can happen automatically but it is better if you have some awareness around them. The way you handle money is one area that you will want to look at. Maybe you make more now and need to adjust taxes or charitable contributions. If money is tight now, it won’t be for too much longer. Your career is going to expand this winter.


LIBRA - This Virgo energy falls in your weird 12th house (Everyone’s 12th house is weird, not just yours). This can be a time where you feel not quite at home wherever you are. Your compassion is dialed up and you are likely to feel concerned about how you contribute to the care of others. Don’t panic if you feel a little down during this brief period of time that precedes your birthday. Spend some time examining your beliefs about life and see if you can let any of them go. Work on subconscious programming and cleaning up your thoughts is perfect for this new moon, as well as all of Virgo season.


SCORPIO - The Virgo situation falls in your 11th house of associations and dreams. Who are the people in your corner? Or, phrased in a more Scorpionic way, who are the people that you thought were in your corner but have shown themselves not to be? Cut your losses and move on. There might be friendships that you expected to last that have disappointed you. Take some time to figure out how to let go of either the expectations, or the person. You’re likely to feel pretty sensitive for the next several weeks. Write some poetry or music if that is your thing, or find some kind of outlet for your ennui.


SAGITTARIUS - It's time to tidy up your public image and the level of maturity and authority that others have of you. You might interpret that as “it’s time to grow up” and you would not be wrong. This grow up is specifically happening in your career house. You have the intellect and communication skills to give people the right impression to get ahead. If you have habits that need to be broken, you may find out that life breaks them for you in an unexpected way. Close relationships may be hard for you to focus on for awhile, so unless you are married, you don’t need the distraction. If you are married, make sure you’re communicating and not leaving them in the dark during this time of change for your individual self.


CAPRICORN - What are some bullshit beliefs you still hold that are not doing a damn thing for you? I promise there are some. We call these “limiting beliefs” and often we inherit them from our family at a young age. Knowing your nature, you’ve probably already released a good amount, but this new moon invites you to take inventory again and see what is no longer serving you, especially as it relates to your career. You are undervalued, or undervaluing yourself in some way. Create new habits that actually work for you instead of against you and that support a new set of beliefs. (For example, the habit of eating better to support an energy level you need; the habit of daily affirmations to rewrite beliefs; the habit of regular fun and play to support your general mental health)


AQUARIUS - Your vibe could be killing the mood, babe. If you aren’t careful, you can intellectualize or criticize intimacy to the point of snuffing the flame. Let go for the sake of letting go. Relinquish control and let your freak flag fly. Don’t question it, just feel it, and enjoy it. On a less sexy note, get your spending and your debt under control. Get a list of all your debt and a plan of how to attack it through the rest of this year. Creative thinking will solve any conflicts or shortages. Learn how to play more often, and hey, sex is (usually!) free.


PISCES - Take time to tidy up and review your contracts. With Virgo in the 7th house of your chart, you will have a sharp eye for anything that needs it. Your close relationships probably need some attention and care, and you’re likely to feel more inclined to give it during this time. Be careful of being over critical or expecting perfection, however. That will damage the connection and it’ll be hard to get it back. Rather than trying to figure out how to say something to your partner, for the time being, just don’t say it if it is not mission critical. You might also consider saying it with actions - show what you need by giving it to them.

PLANETS THIS WEEK

SUN → Virgo
MERCURY → Libra
VENUS - Leo
MARS - Gemini
JUPITER - Aries (Rx)
SATURN - Aquarius (Rx)
URANUS - Taurus (Rx)
NEPTUNE - Pisces (Rx)
PLUTO - Capricorn (Rx)
CHIRON - Aries (Rx)
CHARIKLO - Aquarius (Rx)
CHAOS - Cancer
N. NODE - Taurus
CERES - Leo
PALLAS - Gemini
JUNO - Pisces
VESTA - Aquarius (Rx)
LILITH - Cancer
ERIS - Aries (Rx)
SIRIUS- Cancer (fixed)

TRANSITS THIS WEEK

Monday 22 Aug
Sun enters Virgo 
Mercury trine Pluto 
Venus conjunct Ceres 
Sun opposite Vesta 

Tuesday 23 Aug
Sun sextile Chaos 

Wednesday 24 Aug
Uranus Retrograde 
Venus trine Chiron 
Mercury quincunx Vesta 

Thursday 25 Aug
Venus square Lunar Nodes 
Mercury enters Libra 
Neptune square Pallas 

Friday 26 Aug
Pallas sextile Eris 
Venus quincunx Juno 
Mercury square Chaos 

Saturday 27 Aug
Venus square Uranus 
Sun square Mars 
New Moon in Virgo 04:16 am Pacific
Chiron trine Ceres 

Sunday 28 Aug
Venus opposite Saturn 

Monday 29 Aug
Pluto quincunx Pallas 

No Bean Burritos on the Bus! BitchScopes for August 15-22

This week feels like a real mixed bag. Intuitively I feel like that Aquarius moon cracked open some unexpected things. Uranus (Aquarius’ ruler) is so sneaky. I swear no matter how much I study a personal transit and try to anticipate what and how it will hit my chart/my life, if Uranus is involved, there’s no predicting. Stuff that was activated last week is necessary for progress. Aquarius is pretty fixated on progress and isn’t great at taking no for an answer. As the sign of humanitarianism and vision and hopes & dreams, there’s a lot of emotion invested, even though you might not know it by looking at a stoic Aquarius. So regardless of how you did or didn’t do ritual for the Full Moon, it activates what it activates, and it will do its damndest to move you toward your dreams (or sometimes your North Node). I think that Aquarius is pretty no bullshit, so whatever came up for you, trust it, even if it meant letting go of something so you can receive something else.

We could be kinda moody, withdrawn, and feeling uncertain at times this week. General feelings of insecurity and feeling like we don’t know what the fuck we are doing are likely “What the fuck am I doing here? What’s the point of this?” ….those kinds of feelings might present themselves. Don’t get trapped in thoughts that are existentially gloomy. The moods are temporary, and if you don’t tangle yourself all up in them, they pass pretty quickly. We do have a lovely trine between Jupiter and Venus mid week to soothe us and possibly gift us something.

Communication within relationships looks like it may be tense or strained in fits and spurts. Communication in general is something you may want to be aware of, as old resentments and criticisms can come back to memory, creating just a general air of pissiness. Oh goody. Be compassionate with both your partner and yourself.

Mercury will enter its shadow phase this week, setting up for its retrograde at the beginning of September. Mercury is in Virgo, a sign of rulership. Themes and conversations that come up mid to late week and into the next couple weeks should be noted, as they might give you a hint about Mercury retrograde’s flavor for your chart. It really isn’t something to fear, but it is something to be aware of. Frankly I always found it very amusing when I was working in a corporate job and one day everyone would be buzzing around freaking out because all the computer systems crapped out, or the delivery trucks broke down. Knowing it was Mercury just gave me a chuckle. (After a few years, the office manager would stop by my desk and ask “Is Mercury in whatever?! Yep. Argh!) Of course when it is your own car or computer, it's a real pain in the ass. 

Try to view Mercury retrograde as a maintenance period, like an annual check up with your doctor  (which could be a great task to take care of during Mercury in Virgo!). You gotta have tests run. You gotta go through the annoying appointments and maybe wear the paper gown. If you’re a vagina-haver, you get the ol’ mascara wand to the cervix visit, if you’re a non vagina haver, you get the ol’ turn your head and cough situation. Maybe you gotta get scoped. Maybe you gotta drive across town to get a mammogram, and wear another stupid paper gown. Then go get a bunch of blood taken so they can run tests to tell you that your whatever is too high and your blahblahblah is too low. It's annoying, but this is the maintenance of being in a flesh suit. Ultimately it's for your own good, right? So you can make corrections and address things that might be not so great…same with Mercury retrograde.

Mars moves into Gemini this week, and will be in Gemini for a flippin long ass time, (because he will retrograde in Gemini in late October, but we’ll freak out about that later). So both Mars and Mercury have moved into the sign in which they will retrograde, and that’s what we are going to look at in this week’s scopes.

This is a good week to be mindful of your words, how you use them, and if you’re using the right ones. We are gonna be in this Mars-Gemini bus for months, so like…no one order the bean burrito and poison the air! Capiche? Speak with intentional kindness when you feel edgy. But do speak. Speak the fuck up! Speaking your mind, verbally asserting yourself, asking questions about everything, breaking through mental blocks, reprogramming negative thinking, and diving into things that we are curious about are all on the menu, and will be for months. Let’s make this bus ride happy and productive, eh?



ARIES - Speak up, Bitch, they can’t hear you in the back. This coming season is inviting you to examine how you use your words, particularly at work. Start paying attention to critical language you use with others, and with yourself. Sometimes that critical Virgo eye is a major problem solver and sometimes a catastrophe preventer. But if you find that you are too hard on yourself, you’re using negative language about your body, or your words seem to deflate your co-workers or employees, take time to figure out how to do that better. A public speaking class or workshop on crafting winning emails could be good for you as well. Find your authentic voice (like the one Britney Spears has when she’s not in her baby voice), and start speaking your truth more often.

TAURUS - You may need to watch your wallet with Mars in your 2nd house for so many months. Mars can be impulsive, and you may be drawn to make expensive purchases. This is a good time to start tracking your spending, creating a budget, or devising a savings plan. You will have a lot of creative energy with Mercury in Virgo transiting your 5th house, so you can come up with creative solutions to save money or solve problems. Expenses around your home which may or may not be planned can be pretty easily managed if you’ve put a little time into lining up your financial ducks.

GEMINI - Having Mars in your 1st house of self and identity will give you a much needed burst of energy to get you through the rest of the year. You will need to be aware of the tendency to be impulsive or too selfish, but mostly, you should enjoy the hell out of the next few months. Having Mercury retrograding in your 4th house, you may just become very bothered by details around your home. Mars may provide you with the push you need to get projects finished that have fallen to the wayside this summer. You will be able to accept opportunities that show up for you this fall in a way that you haven’t felt ready to do for months. Just keep your ego in check once in awhile.

CANCER - Oh good, a chance for Cancers to be moody AF. With Mars hanging in your 12th house for many months, you might just be …gasp…moody. I’m just being cheeky. I live with a teenage Cancer so …just let me have this moment. I do actually know many Cancers who aren’t really moody, but they are rather introverted. Some Cancers are both. In your 12th house you might feel less social and maybe a bit out of touch. Mars isn’t real happy in this position, but this is a great time to work on your spiritual self. Get curious about your past lives, or your shadow behaviors. Maybe examining ways you repress yourself. Mercury will be hanging out for a while in your 3rd house, really giving you a chance to fine tune communications, or proof read your book (or someone else’s). Hide out with your red pen and some comfort foods.

LEO - Shoot for the stars and chase your dreams! Having Mars in your 11th house for so long bodes really well for making your dreams a reality and bringing your creative vision to life. You may be more ambitious than usual, especially when the Sun moves out of your sign and you finally take off your birthday tiara. You could be a pretty unstoppable force this Fall. Be aware that if you have to work in groups or closely with others, you might dominate a bit too much. Leave room at the table for others. Mercury in your 2nd house will only benefit your ambition by adding a good head for business.

VIRGO - Bitch, get your entrepreneurship textbooks out of storage! You’ve got Mars in your 10th house for a good long time and Mercury building strength in your first house of self. You could definitely launch a business this fall if you wanted to. If that’s of no interest to you then just know that your public facing self and your individual self are both really strong. If you need a social media presence, advertising, a new look, a new job, it could happen soon. This placement for Mars also means you may have strained relationships with authority figures, so check yourself, unless you are ready to jump ship. Your skills for self expression will be bolstered, so you can use your words in whatever way you like. Just watch for impulsiveness and know that for every action, there’s a reaction, and prepare accordingly. Otherwise, go for it!

LIBRA - Your thoughts and feelings will run deep this retrograde season. With Mercury in your 12th house, you may feel more introverted. You may be introspecting about your own nature, your shadow behaviors, feel more compassionate, mystical and sensitive. Meanwhile, Mars in your 9th house couldn’t be more extroverted. Mars will be in this placement for months, giving you the itch to experience more of life on all levels. Travel, languages, cultural exchange, hiking, adventures, and anything that keeps Mars from being bored. In Sagittarius’ domain, boredom is not likely. I would advise you to buy a journal, and some hiking shoes.

SCORPIO - You have an interesting time coming up with Mars. And I don’t mean “interesting” like “oh shit!” I truly am curious what will come out of this for you. Mars in Gemini is camping out in your 8th house. Mars is one of the traditional rulers of Scorpio so he’s happy in the 8th. Your intuition is likely to be very strong, as is the will to transform something in your life. The next several months offer you a chance to really renovate some aspect of yourself or your life. If you aren’t consciously aware, this placement could be difficult and snarky and willful. Then you have Mercury in your 11th house of hopes and dreams. It will retrograde there, which gives you a chance to “re-think” some of your visions, dreams and plans. This is a powerful time! Go get em!

SAGITTARIUS - All your relationships are going to be strongly emphasized in the coming months. Mars in Gemini lands in your 7th house of contractual relationships (marriage, business partners etc). You are pretty strong willed, so if you dig your heels in during this time, you are gonna get some blow-back. Learn to not be a “right fighter” and jus try to let some disagreements go. This can be hard in some relationships, but it will be so beneficial if you can do it. Then you’ve got Mercury in your 10th house, and it will retrograde there. This is your public persona, career house. I feel during this time you will find some real practical solutions to issues around your career, your boss, or your public image. When weighing options and solutions, keep it simple.

CAPRICORN - Mars will be in your 6th house for a good long time, emphasizing service to others, as well as anything that relates to your body, how you use it, and issues with it. If you have an old sports injury, you might have good luck finding the right doctor for the issue during this time. You will be very detail oriented, especially at work, and possibly to a fault. Don’t get in bickering matches unnecessarily. Mercury will retrograde in your 9th house. This is a great time to learn or re-learn a foreign language, or study philosophy from other cultures. You’re likely to get the travel bug, though most of the Caps I know have the travel bug all time. You may find yourself reconsidering certain beliefs that you hold.

AQUARIUS - Your creative energy will run high while Mars is in your 5th house. Bust out those creative projects and have some fun. Your energy will be high during this time, but you’ll need to be aware of being obnoxious or an attention hog. Meanwhile, Mercury is deep diving in your 8th house of all things intimate and taboo. This transit could give you a sharper tongue than usual, so be careful how you speak to people you care about. Mentally you are likely to be introspective, and you may even feel secretive. This could be a time when old stuff comes up for you to heal and transform. Listen to your intuition, or work on developing it during this time.

PISCES - The rest of this year you will feel a pull toward home. Mars will be camping out in your front yard…aka your 4th house. Desire for security will be a strong focus. You might feel a bit more homebody-ish than usual. Mercury will transit your 7th house and retrograde there as well, so communication issues with your partner are very possible. Those issues can also be improved during this time. Art could be very soothing for you, so maybe its time to redecorate your home, hang up some new wall art, or go to a museum with your honey.

PLANETS THIS WEEK

SUN → Virgo
MERCURY - Virgo
VENUS - Leo
MARS → Gemini
JUPITER - Aries (Rx)
SATURN - Aquarius (Rx)
URANUS - Taurus
NEPTUNE - Pisces (Rx)
PLUTO - Capricorn (Rx)
CHIRON - Aries (Rx)
CHARIKLO - Aquarius (Rx)
CHAOS - Cancer
N. NODE - Taurus
CERES - Leo
PALLAS - Gemini
JUNO - Pisces
VESTA → Aquarius (Rx)
LILITH - Cancer
ERIS - Aries (Rx)
SIRIUS- Cancer (fixed)



TRANSITS THIS WEEK

Monday 15 Aug

mercury trine N Node
Pallas square Juno

Tuesday 16 Aug

Venus opposite Chariklo

Mercury trine Uranus
Mercury opposite Juno

Wednesday 17 Aug

Sun trine Eris
Sun quincunx Neptune

Thursday 18 Aug

Mercury square Pallas
Venus trine Jupiter
Mercury quincunx Saturn
Vesta trine Chaos
Saturn trine Pallas

Friday 19 Aug

Sun quincunx Pluto

Saturday 20 Aug

Mars enters Gemini
Mars square Vesta 
Mercury enters shadow phase (Shadow begins at 24° virgo; Rx 9/9 at 8° Libra, end 10/2 at 24° Virgo; exit shadow at 10/16 8° Libra)

Sunday 21 Aug

Mercury opposite Neptune
Uranus sextile Juno
Mercury quincunx Eris

Monday 22 Aug

Sun enters Virgo
Mercury trine Pluto
Venus conjunct Ceres
Sun opposite Vesta

Change contains hope - Full Moon in Aquarius BitchScopes for August 8-15

In what appears to be, much to my chagrin, an August theme, this week starts off with a bang. This is a good bang (haha), but I am, as I have mentioned previously, tired of living in extraordinary times. I’m being a little dramatic. I’m allowed because it’s Leo season and I have a Leo moon.

So Monday we have the Lion’s Gate portal. Usually I write more about this but it kinda snuck up on me. This is the rising of the star Sirius, which has been revered for centuries as the “spiritual sun”. During this portal, we are imbued with extra luck for abundance (8/8 numerology), and can receive psychic downloads that help us level up in our lives.

Monday’s other transits match up nicely with the Lion’s Gate portal vibe, emphasizing wisdom and life purpose. Tuesday we could run into some kerfuffles due to arguments or clashing strategies. Creative energy is high; you just have to figure out how to be a creative genius and still fly under the radar of the people you are around daily. Wednesday there’s another nod to our life purpose and what we may have to sacrifice to fulfill it.

Thursday is a big day. There’s a full moon in Aquarius, and this one is likely to bring dramatic shake ups and mindset shifts. Uranus rules Aquarius, but it is also square to the Sun on this full moon, so anxiety and unexpected shit is the phrase of the day, maybe the week. HOWEVER, Mars sextiles Neptune, which is romantic and sensual, AND Venus enters Leo, making our relationshipping playful, expressive, and affectionate. Perhaps some unexpected love could arise out of this Uranian hijinx?

Let’s hope so, because the rest of the week could be tense.

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday are filled with assertive and fearless communication, perhaps unrelated (but could be related) partnership disconnects, and some insecurity about our path. This energy continues into next Monday. So it looks like this weekend calls for some Mimosas and day drinking, if that’s your escape mode. Otherwise, you’d be well served to dive into some art-making, or just have a day of no-talking-only- cuddling with your partner.

Remind yourself that before you were spiritually awake and aware, you had no idea of these Uranian and North Node things, and you survived, and even thrived at times. You don’t need to live in fear. These pieces of info are only to give you insight. Don’t grip the steering wheel too tight and lock your elbows, don’t try to steer the river, don’t take wooden nickels, don’t eat yellow snow, don’t try to control everything…but trust that the Universe has you in the palm of her hand and wants only good things for you.

You are exactly where you need to be right now, and you are going to get where you are meant to be next. Regardless of whether your current situation is good or bad, change is always guaranteed, and the roller coaster of life gives us all the experiences. Change contains hope…and that might be the most Aquarian and 5 life path thing I’ve ever written.



ARIES - Give some thought to who are the rebels you admire or are intrigued by. The full moon in your 11th house will produce shake ups both in your groups and associates, and with them. Align yourself with the “right” shit-stirrers. Mars in Taurus in your 2nd house is practical and driven by security, and the Leo energy ignites your creative fire. Put on your roller skates and enjoy the chaotic flow of “all skate”

TAURUS - This full moon could provide some “excitement” and/or “interesting” developments at work or in your career. Note the use of quotation marks. You get it. Change vexes you, and with Mars in your 1st house, you might need to check yourself. Use the stability of your home and family to soothe your frayed ends, and remember that ultimately, these changes will benefit you, cuz that’s how Aquarius rolls.


GEMINI - The full moon in your 9th house could bring some unexpected truth into the light. The 9th house is ruled by truth quester Sagittarius and more-is-better Jupiter. If you have plans to travel in the next few weeks, they may get screwy. Mars is transiting your 12th house, which could either be very frustrating or very compassionate. You may just want to be “alone, damnit!”, and that is absolutely fine. Gemini is one of the most common signs of serial killers, maybe alone is good this week. I kid, I kid…sorta.


CANCER - Your financial pipelines will be blasted open for business by this Full Moon. With the Sun and Venus transiting your 2nd house, money can flow in easily and elevate your financial position. The moon will light up your 8th house, where you receive other people’s money (sometimes it needs to be paid back, but not always). Business loans are looking good right now. Mars in your 11th house wants to chase your dreams, and it looks like you have a green light to do so! What could be holding you back? Release that shit under this moon!

LEO -  The Aquarius full moon delivers tough love, truth without a lot of affect, facts over feelings.  Imagine if Spock had to tell you that you are an asshole (you’re not, I’m just giving an example). “It may be perceived at times, that you are difficult to tolerate and engage with in certain circumstances”.  How you feel about yourself directly reflects and projects into your personal relationships.  Your relationship patterns, boundaries, and values will be illuminated, and shake ups may occur. Solid relationships will be just fine. Weaker ones will need to be examined in the light of this moon. Live long and prosper.


VIRGO - Your daily grind is in the spotlight this week. The Aquarius full moon will shine a light on any imbalances in your routine. I started to ask if you’re a workaholic, and then I remembered who I was writing for. So, as a workaholic (or a work-out-aholic), it is crucial that you occasionally take a step back and see how you can have a healthier personal life. Your personal beliefs (any of them, but for example: only hard workers make it in life; nothing is free; hard work is the most rewarding thing in life; laziness is terrible; to be fat is horrible, etc) are supergluing you into a routine. Get some acetone, bitch, and loosen that shit up! Some alone time with your lover might smooth your edges a lot this week.


LIBRA - Stop me if you’ve heard this one before - fun, do you have any? Of course you do. You do….right? This full moon will highlight whether or not you have a foundation in place that supports joy and play in your life. If you do, great. This might also shine a spotlight on your children, who might throw a wrench into the works this week. If so, lean on your friends! Mars is transiting your 8th house right now, so some good sex might cure what ails ya as well (but not with your friends. That’s a bad idea, yo.)


SCORPIO - This full moon could shake some things up in and around your home life. Depending on your current situation, that could be either good or bad. But this might also stir something within you to do the shaking up yourself. Move? Redecorate? Rearrange? Visit your family or hometown? The Sun and Venus are both transiting your career house, which is great. You’ve probably already seen some good stuff there. If conflicts arise either at work or at home, compromise is KEY at this time.


SAGITTARIUS - Communication and learning are highlighted for you this week. The full moon will not be shy about showing you if and where you are not being a good listener, learner, or communicator. This can be a very productive time for you, maybe the start of a new cycle (cough cough school is starting. Son, are you reading this? No, you are not. Sigh). Mars in Taurus is in your 6th house, so crafting a routine and getting shit done will come more easily to you right now (but it won’t happen without your effort…son…?) You’ve got this!


CAPRICORN - The devil is in the details. This full moon will shine a light on those details, especially as it regards how you earn and spend money. When you read that, you probably assume you’re not saving enough. If another sign read it, it would be different. In your case, though, this is about actually letting your money have a life with you. Don’t just save, don’t just scrimp, don’t just be die-hard practical all the fucking time. For another sign, I would have to say “that doesn’t mean spending all the money”, but you don’t need that. What you do need is to allow yourself some non-practical fun. Yes, you should continue to hone your skills and be a badass boss bitch. AND you should also do something just for the fun of it. Mars in your 5th house agrees with me. Security is great, but security without joy is hollow.

AQUARIUS - Dream big, and cut loose anything tangible or spiritual that is holding you back. This full moon in your sign encourages you to take risks, accept changes, move with the shifts, and embrace the creative chaos like only you can! Plans you have been working on can be fully activated or realized soon. If you’re in a relationship, you will get to enjoy a much needed period of love and sweetness, and with Mars in your 4th house, your partner will love how you redecorated the living room.

PISCES - With the Sun and Venus in your 6th house of routine, your work can actually feel sort of pleasurable. Or you can be inspired to create a routine that does. Make sure that you are allowing pleasure into your day to day tasks, and that includes what and how you eat. With Mars in your 3rd house, you may feel chained to your computer, answering and writing emails, and the productivity might feel good. But, and, furthermore…take a nap. You’ve been working harder than usual, really grinding and hustling. This full moon highlights your need for rest, solitude, and dreaming. Even if just for a day or 2, take a full blown break and just do something that feels regenerative to you.

TRANSITS THIS WEEK

Monday 8 August
Lion’s Gate Portal (peak)
Chiron sextile Pallas
Sun trine Chiron

Tuesday 9 Aug
Mercury quincunx Jupiter
Venus opposite Pluto
Sun sextile Pallas creative genius

Wednesday 10 Aug
Sun square Lunar Nodes

Thursday 11 Aug
Sun square Uranus
Mars sextile Neptune
Venus —> Leo
Full Moon Aquarius 6:36PM Pacific
Jupiter trine Ceres

Friday 12 Aug
Mercury sextile Lilith

Saturday 13 Aug
Sun quincunx Juno
Venus quincunx Vesta

Sunday 14 Aug
Sun opposite Saturn
Mars trine Pluto
Mercury quincunx Chiron

Monday 15 Aug
mercury trine N Node
Pallas square Juno



PLANETS THIS WEEK

SUN - Leo
MERCURY - Virgo
VENUS → Leo
MARS - Taurus
JUPITER - Aries
SATURN - Aquarius
URANUS - Taurus
NEPTUNE - Pisces
PLUTO - Capricorn
CHIRON - Aries
CHARIKLO - Aquarius
CHAOS - Gemini
N. NODE - Taurus
CERES - Leo
PALLAS - Gemini
JUNO - Pisces
VESTA - Pisces
LILITH - Cancer
ERIS - Aries
SIRIUS- Cancer