Poetry BitchScopes for June 26- July 2

Mercury is very busy again this week, pretty much all week. He enters Cancer on Monday which shifts our communication skills into a very instinctive mode. It is logical but also intuitive and protective. Mercury communicates with most of the major planets (the Sun, Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto, and Uranus!) this week and several of the minors. That’s a lot of transmission energy, both subtle and overt.

Venus and Lilith are conjunct this week, forming a badass little alliance as the long Leo summer begins. Venus will spend 5 months in Leo, as opposed to her usual 4 weeks, due to a retrograde in July. We’ll talk more about that in a week or so but it’s nothing to panic about. The Venusian Summer has all kinds of juicy potential for everyone!

Neptune begins its annual retrograde this week, casting a fog of confusion and a “lavender haze” over the 2nd half of the year. Intuition is heightened, but facts are hard to figure overall during his retrograde.


This week I decided it’s poetry time. I haven’t done poetry-scopes in a while. It’s summer and the livin' is (supposed to be) easy. Mercury is Mercury'ing...so let’s get a little less serious and dip into the romantic vibes of Venus and Neptune (and supposedly Cancer is romantic. Please message me if you know of a romantic or seductive Cancer! I keep seeing other astrologers talk about this and …not in my experience. No shade, but…nope.) and seek guidance from some of the more soulful energies out there! (Please note: I am not going to include any paragraph or line breaks in these poems because the formatting on 12Listen would take me forever. One does loose some nuance this way, but it is what it is for these BitchScopes)



ARIES - Your poem is “Skylark” by Percy Byshe Shelley. Immediately though, my mind is pulled to the Song. I am a huge Ella Fitzgerald fan, but k.d. lang’s version is SO good! (And is very apropos for Pride month!) The first stanza of the poem is: 

Hail to thee, blithe Spirit! Bird thou never wert, That from Heaven, or near it, Pourest thy full heart In profuse strains of unpremeditated art. 

Shelley goes on for TWENTY ONE stanzas about the bird! So, Aries, slow down. Take your time. Spin a yarn. Say too much, feel too much, take too long to do everything. Jogging and gym be damned…pretend you have nothing better to do than to write 21 stanzas about a bird!


TAURUS - Your poem is “The Arrow and the Song” by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. 

I shot an arrow into the air, It fell to earth, I knew not where; For, so swiftly it flew, the sight Could not follow it in its flight. I breathed a song into the air, It fell to earth, I knew not where; For who has sight so keen and strong,That it can follow the flight of song?Long, long afterward, in an oak I found the arrow, still unbroke; And the song, from beginning to end,I found again in the heart of a friend.

The implication is that we put our words and our selves out there in the world and we don’t know how they will affect countless strangers over time. The ripple effect of sharing your feelings, your art, your words, is always an unknown. There are consequences that come out of everything we do, because we are all connected in countless ways.


GEMINI - Your poem is the famous Sonnet 18 by Shakespeare

 

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer’s lease hath all too short a date. Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimmed; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimmed; But thy eternal summer shall not fade, Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st, Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade, When in eternal lines to Time thou grow'st. So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.


The message is that Bitch, you're beautiful!



CANCER - Your poem is...oh I love this... "Much Madness is Divinest Sense" by Emily Dickinson.

Much Madness is divinest Sense - To a discerning Eye -Much Sense - the starkest Madness - ’Tis the Majority In this, as all, prevail - Assent - and you are sane -Demur - you’re straightway dangerous - And handled with a Chain -

Emily Dickinson is famous for being emotionally unwell at times. She shared her darkest thoughts in her poetry. She is the classic tortured artist. In this poem she talks about how the "crazy" person in the room is sometimes the most sane. What society thinks is "normal" is often pretty screwy. So put that in your weird bonnet and smoke it! Rock your weird, Crabby Patty!


LEO - Your poem is new to me..."Oak and Lily" by Ben Jonson 

It is not growing like a tree In bulk, doth make man better be; Or standing long an oak, three hundred year, To fall a log at last, dry, bald, and sere: A lily of a day is fairer far in May, Although it fall and die that night — It was the plant and flower of Light. In small proportions we just beauties see; And in short measures life may perfect be.

If I were to sum this up, I would borrow a favorite phrase from my Brother in Law "I'm not here for a long time, I'm here for a good time!" This poem speaks to finding joy and beauty in the little things in life. This Summer and well into the Fall your sign is exalted by Venus and Lilith. Live!


VIRGO - Your poem is "Ode to Solitude" by Alexander Pope  

Happy the man, whose wish and care A few paternal acres bound, Content to breathe his native air, In his own ground. There are 3 more stanzas, but this poem speaks to a beautiful, simple life. He is unfucked-with by drama and nonsense. He values the quiet and anonymity of his plain life.

As the energies surround Leo and infuse them with light this summer, those same energies occupy your 12th house of solitude. Simplify. Let things be quiet. Ponder. Retreat. Meditate.


LIBRA - Your poem is "No Man is an Island" by John Donne 

No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as any manner of thy friends or of thine own were; any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

This is an excerpt from a sermon about how all people are connected to each other and how we must take care of each other. What happens to one of us, happens to all of us. I feel like you, as the sign that rules relationships, get this. This summer as Leo hangs over your 11th house of people we know, associations, colleagues, this message is perfect. Remember that even though you are wonderful and unique, so is everyone else...


SCORPIO - Ok I had to pick from ee cummings for you. cummings is my all time favorite poet and perhaps because of my 8th house Scorpionic Sun...he writes of everything that is sensual, forbidden, taboo, even crude. He holds nothing back. He even says fuck it to syntax and grammar. AND he says "fuck" a lot (and he wrote in the early 20th century!) This poem is from 1926 and refers to his boyhood friends.

 
the boys i mean are not refined they go with girls who buck and bite they do not give a fuck for luck
they hump them thirteen times a night one hangs a hat upon her tit one carves a cross on her behind they do not give a shit for wit...they speak whatever's on their mind they do whatever's in their pants
the boys i mean are not refined they shake the mountains when they dance

There are a couple stanzas I left out for the sake of space, but you should read it. Basically this is a tribute to the joys and stupidity of youth. Go get you somma that! (Pisces retrogrades in your 5th house of joy and children!)


SAGITTARIUS - Your poem is "The Daffodils" by William Wordsworth  

I wandered lonely as a cloud That floats on high o'er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd,A host, of golden daffodils; Beside the lake, beneath the trees,Fluttering and dancing in the breeze...For oft, when on my couch I lie In vacant or in pensive mood,They flash upon that inward eyeWhich is the bliss of solitude; And then my heart with pleasure fills, And dances with the daffodils.

Much has been made of this poem, historically. I love it because if feels so simple. The field of daffodils was pretty, and it made him happy, and sometimes he imagines that moment and that thought makes him happy. This summer, even while Leo beckons you from your 9th house of adventure, make sure you spend some time in nature. I know you want to go and see and do and travel and expand. But consider having some time for daffodils.


CAPRICORN - Your poem is by my 2nd favorite of all time - Robert Frost. "Two Tramps in Mud-Time"

Out of the mud two strangers came And caught me splitting wood in the yard, And one of them put me off my aim By hailing cheerily "Hit them hard!" I knew pretty well why he had dropped behind And let the other go on a way. I knew pretty well what he had in mind: He wanted to take my job for pay...And all their logic would fill my head: As that I had no right to play With what was another man's work for gain. My right might be love but theirs was need. And where the two exist in twain Theirs was the better right--agreed.

Like the other scopes, this was a random pull from flipping open a book of various poets. This poem is about the meaning of work and how it can provide purpose in life. Some work is even enjoyable. There is a complex message here. Should the wood chopper let the "tramps" do the chopping for pay? Or should he maintain his simple, individualistic, independent life? The poem's conclusion is open to interpretation. But you're a Cap, so I'll ask - are you working too much?



AQUARIUS - Your poem is another favorite of mine by Walt Whitman - "A Noiseless Patient Spider"

A noiseless, patient spider,I mark’d where on a little promontory it stood isolated,Mark’d how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,It launch’d forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself,Ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them.And you O my soul where you stand,Surrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space,Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing, seeking the spheres to connect them,Till the bridge you will need be form’d, till the ductile anchor hold, Till the gossamer thread you fling catch somewhere, O my soul.

Whitman compares the human soul to the spider endlessly building webs, connecting things, searching for connection. We are so small in an unfathomably vast universe...but we keep spinning! Cancer rules your 6th house of work. Neptune retrogrades in your 2nd house of income. Do you find meaning in what you do? Focus on your web.


PISCES - Your poem is new to me "A Friend's Greeting" by Edgar Guest 

I'd like to be the sort of friend that you have been to me; I'd like to be the help that you've been always glad to be;I'd like to mean as much to you each minute of the day As you have meant, old friend of mine, to me along the way.

This is a delightfully simple poem with obvious meaning. And considering how empathetic Pisces is, this is very appropriate. My Pisces people seem to have an un-ending well of compassion. The only place your compassion lacks, FishFace, is at times for yourself at time. Are you as good a friend to yourself as you are to others? When Neptune, your ruler, retrogrades in your sign, it would be a beautiful time to meditate on YOU.

PLANETS THIS WEEK

SUN - Cancer
MERCURY  - Cancer
VENUS - Leo
MARS - Leo
JUPITER - Taurus
SATURN - Pisces
URANUS - Taurus
NEPTUNE - Pisces (Rx)
PLUTO - Capricorn (Rx)
CHIRON - Aries
CHARIKLO - Aquarius
CHAOS - Gemini 
N. NODE - Taurus
CERES - Libra 
PALLAS - Virgo
JUNO - Cancer
VESTA - Gemini
LILITH - Leo
ERIS - Aries
SIRIUS- Cancer (fixed)

TRANSITS THIS WEEK

Monday 26 June
Mars square Uranus
Mercury quincunx Pluto 29°
Mercury enters Cancer

Tuesday 27 June
Mercury sextile North Node
Mercury conjunct Chaos
Mercury square Ceres

Wednesday 28 June
Sun trine Saturn
Venus conjunct Lilith
Mercury conjunct Juno

Thursday 29 June
Venus trine Chiron
Mercury trine Saturn

Friday 30 June
Neptune turns retrograde 27° Pisces
Sun conjunct Mercury
Mercury sextile Jupiter

Saturday 01 July
Sun sextile Jupiter

Sunday 02 July
Mars trine Eris
Venus square Uranus
Mercury quincunx Chariklo

Your RAWR Summer Solstice BitchScopes for June 19-26

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Check out my June Reading Special - Hot Goddess Summer

This week the focus is on Cancer and Leo.  The Sun enters the sign of Cancer, and we have a very special goddess line up in Leo.  What do you get when you do a mashup of Cancer - the nurturer & caregiver - with and Leo - the bold, proud, and regal? A Lioness! She hunts. She takes care of the cubs and of the Pride leader.  Lionesses also care for each other in the pride, as well as helping to raise each other's offspring.  She is fiercely protective.  It's the perfect energy descriptor for this week. 

I am a very visual person. I often have to draw diagrams or scribble out a picture to understand a concept. I use color coding so I can grasp a big picture at a glance. As I was looking through the transits and aspects for this week, I felt like I noticed something, so I did my color coding thing. All the Sun’s aspects are bolded. The aspects Mercury makes are in blue. The Pluto 29° aspects are in red. And the ingresses are underlined.

This week we have 4 planets changing signs, including the sun. Mercury makes 9 aspects. There are 5 29° aspects. The sun makes 4 aspects.

Anytime the sun is doing something, we should pay attention. This week he moves into Cancer and then immediately sextiles the North Node. To me, this feels like a “hey, pay attention to what comes into your life in the next 30 days”. Mercury will follow the Sun into Cancer at the end of the week, and then our communication also becomes Cancerian. Mercury is very busy this week, and that means we probably will be as well.

Cancer energy is like an M&M candy…crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside. Cancer people, even if they aren’t meant for you, tend to be easy to love. But Cancers aren’t suckers. They are tough and they stick to their own moral compass fiercely. If you piss them off they won’t come at you directly and say “hey, that pisses me off.” Like the crab they are named after, they will come at you from the side, or sideways, in order to protect themselves, and jab at you in a way that sometimes feels random and unrelated. They are far more sensitive than they usually let on, and they are natural nurturers. They are rarely boring, in part because they are ruled by an ever-fluid moon. Cancers are moony…and therefore moody. It is sometimes hard to figure out or know where you stand with a Cancer. They are aloof, and they have that outer shell. I have a Masters Degree in Cancer people, and I still don’t always understand them.

Now we gotta talk about Pluto. Pluto is retrograde and moves very slow. So he is burning a hole at 29° right now, so everything he touches will be a 29° aspect for awhile (until the end of July). While 29° is the “critical degree”, that doesn’t necessarily mean that everything will be a crisis. It's just something to be aware of. The best way to know what is going on with you is to look at your own chart. The aspects I offer here are the overarching macro-themes. But with Pluto at 29° you can bet things will be dramatic wherever there is power and control at stake…like say…politics. I should take a look at Trump’s chart but it literally makes me so angry that it isn’t a good idea. But we know that some things are cookin’ for sure. Indictment charges have stuck (thank you Grand Jurists!), his lawyers quit, and now we can just hope that justice is actually served, because that man is a traitor to this country the likes of which we have not seen since…the revolutionary war…hmmmm. We also have DeSantis practicing his Fascist Tango in the wings. And even after Pluto leaves 29°, he will remain in Capricorn, the sign of the Patriarchy, until the end of this year. So business will be settled one way or another as we go forward. We live in the accursed “interesting times”. Remember when things were boring? I love boring!

The Summer Solstice happens this week when the Sun enters Cancer. The Summer Solstice is the longest day and the beginning of summer in the Northern hemisphere. 

This is a time of culmination and claiming what we’ve earned, won, or gained. We can stand “in the light” and offer what we have to the world. 

It is the Sun’s highest point, and so is a climax of sorts. Cancer energy is about the home, ancestry, and foundations. With the light of the sun shining on our lives we can see our way.

In the Southern hemisphere this is the longest night, and a time where we withdraw into the quiet to be with ourselves and our inner knowing. Sometimes the darkness can feel more comfortable and safer than the spotlight of the Sun. (I must be from the Southern hemisphere in my soul, because this resonates with me at this time of year.) Anyway, just get quiet and still and observe your feelings.

Northern or Southern hemisphere, this is a time of new beginnings, reflection, and gratitude.

At the moment the Sun enters Cancer, there is a goddess lineup is pretty badass.... The Moon, Venus, and Lilith are all in Leo. This is bold, proud feminine energy!  And Mars joins the ladies there as well. I like to think of him as guarding the door to the sacred feminine as we honor the Solstice. Lilith and Venus will be in Leo all summer long!

Marilyn Monroe had Lilith in Leo, and she was a Leo rising. 

Here are your scopes for this week, with a focus on the Leo goddess lineup as well as the Cancer Sun/Solstice:


ARIES - Cancer rules your 4th house of home and family. Decorate your home according to the season you are about to enter. Honor your ancestors if that appeals to you. Remember or call in the energies of freedom and liberation and beauty. The Leo goddesses hold hands in your 5th house of creativity, children, fun, joy and romance. Who better to bless your love life than Lilith and Venus?! Happy Solstice!


TAURUS - Cancer rules your 3rd house of siblings, neighbors, learning and communication. Journaling is a great way to lean into this energy. Think about your hopes when the year started, look at how far you’ve come, envision the 2nd half of the year. What is your soul drawn toward? What are your desires and passions? Meanwhile, the Leo ladies bless your home and family sector. Do you feel safe at home? What would it take for you to feel more secure there? Happy Solstice!


GEMINI - Cancer rules your 2nd house of income. Decorate your office with things that feel abundant. Work on your money manifestation practices. Reflect on your financial progress or hangups since the year began and set intentions for the 2nd half. Meanwhile, the Leo goddesses encircle your 3rd house of communication. Speaking up for yourself, using your voice, discovering truth…these are all themes for you this summer.


CANCER - Happy YOU season! This solstice shines a light right on you, your gifts, your offerings to the world and your hopes for the future. If you think about it, there have probably been many major turning points for you around this time of year in your history. There will be some this summer too. What do you envision and want to manifest for the rest of this year? The Leo goddesses encircle your money house. How can it get better than having these badass ladies blessing your income sector? And Lilith and Venus will be there all summer blessing your money! Happy Solstice!


LEO - Cancer rules your 12th house, and so you might feel like pulling back and reflecting on things in a more private way. Meditation, any kind of ritual or ceremony can yield really beautiful results for you. The Leo goddesses will be encircling YOU all summer long, giving you confidence and blessing you as you go out into the world. The hot goddess summer is all yours! Happy Solstice.


VIRGO - Cancer rules your 11th house of people you know, so it could be a very social summer for you. However, you have a choice here. The Leo goddesses encircle your 12th house of solitude. It is possible you would prefer a bit more privacy or even solitude this summer. You might even choose to work on a project with a charity, hospital or something like that. No matter how you handle it, it is going to give you a big confidence boost. Happy Solstice!


LIBRA - Cancer rules your 10th house of public image and career. Your personal brand or career direction might undergo a make over this summer. Utilize the Solstice as a time to reflect of your journey so far this year, and what you’d like to do going forward. The Leo goddesses are in your 11th house, blessings your networking efforts. There was never a better time to be seen on social media than this summer, maybe with a new look for your business/plan. Happy Solstice!


SCORPIO - Cancer rules your 9th house of adventure and big dreams. I’m not gonna lie, having the Solstice cross this house is pretty sweet! Set your intentions to have experiences that expand your world. Dare to dream big and allow your (skeptical ass) self to believe. The Leo goddesses encircle your public life and career house. If there is a power career move to make, this summer is a good time to do it! Happy Solstice!


SAGITTARIUS - Cancer rules your 8th house of intimacy, secrets, and things we aren’t supposed to talk about at family gatherings. This is a double water area of your chart, placement so don’t be surprised if this summer feels emotionally intense The Leo goddesses are in your sign’s domain - the 9th house. With their blessing and empowerment you can experience travel and other experiences that enhance your life and world view. Happy Solstice!


CAPRICORN - Cancer rules your 7th house of partnership. Do something romantic with your spouse or partner to usher in the beautiful energy of the Solstice. Something with flowers would be really cool ( a hike, a botanical garden etc). The Leo goddesses are lined up in your 8th house, really blessing your intimacy…all summer! If you’re not in a relationship, take this opportunity to work on manifesting it with beauty and optimism and heart centered desires. Happy Solstice!


AQUARIUS - Cancer rules your 6th house of work and routine. Make sure your desk or every day work area feels beautiful. Add some flowers to your office area. The Leo goddesses are in your 7th house of partnerships. You can utilize their bold energy to enhance your business relationships or your romantic ones. It’s going to be a productive summer, professionally and personally! Happy Solstice!


PISCES - Cancer rules your 5th house of romance and joy. What a beautiful placement to celebrate beauty in general. Add some flowers to your home or your office, or even to your hair. Close your eyes and think about how joy feels in your body. Extend a lovely gesture to your partner. The Leo goddesses are in your 6th house of work. If you need to make a bold move in terms of your job description, job duties, or other “how” aspects of your work, this summer is a great time to make those changes! Happy Solstice!

Monday 19 June
Jupiter sextile Saturn
Mercury opposite Great Attractor
Venus opposite Chariklo

Tuesday 20 June
Sun conjunct Juno
Pluto trine Ceres 29°
Uranus square Pallas
Mars conjunct Lilith

Wednesday 21 June
Sun quincunx Pluto 29°
Ceres enters Libra
Mercury sextile Lilith
Sun enters Cancer/ Summer Solstice
Mercury sextile Mars
Sun square Ceres

Thursday 22 June
Mercury sextile Chiron
Pluto quincunx Juno 29°
Pluto trine Vesta 29°
Sun sextile North Node
Vesta enters Gemini
Mars trine Chiron

Friday 23 June
Sun sextile North Node
Mercury sextile Pallas

Saturday 24 June
Mercury sextile Eris

Sunday 25 June
Mercury square Neptune

Monday 26 June
Mars square Uranus
Mercury quincunx Pluto 29°
Mercury enters Cancer

I'm not gonna tell a story...oh wait, yes I am! BitchScopes for the week of June 12-18 - New Moon in Gemini

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Ok folks, I’m just gonna jump right in to the deep end of the pool today without all the introspective ADHD energy I usually offer. We have a Gemini New Moon this week, and I couldn’t be happier about it. I’m a Gemini rising, and I also love a new moon. I love the dark, quiet energy of the new moon. And this one is pretty loaded.

This moon happens at 26° of Gemini, aaaand as I was typing that I just had a realization so I take back what I said about not offering my introspections.

Gather round the fire children, and let me tell you a story about when the internet was new...

I graduated from college in 1995, and my senior year, one of my teachers was just rambling endlessly about something called “the web”,and sometimes “the internet”. We had no idea what he was going on about. He had a sign on his door that his office hours were reduced because he was “surfing the web”. Then one day he handed out these papers where we had been assigned something called an “e-mail address”. We were utterly clueless about what we were supposed to do. “You can send messages to people, like mail, but they will receive it on their computer! Try it out with your project partners!” I remember looking at my partner with my face all scrunched up and asking what the hell we were supposed to do. He didn’t know either. I think by the time we finished up Senior Seminar we barely understood what the hell this computer webby thing was.

In 1996, fresh out of college, I landed my first really good job. I was in Chicago, my favorite city, when I got it. I had to call home from a pay phone in Union Station to check my answering machine and got the news. I jumped around like a crazy 23 year old does in a train station and then we celebrated that night and I had my first ever shot of tequila…ok I had 3. It was a fabulous night. 

I started that job (with a really big oil company), and we were required to take some classes on how to use Word, how to use Excel, and how to use the Internet. Once we finished the class the IT department would install “Netscape” on our computer stations. Bitch, we were cutting edge! So I went to this class with about 10 people and I sat in the back. Within about 30 minutes, I had this shit down! He was still instructing the class about what each menu item did and I was racing way ahead of them…I was already catching waves on that damn world wide web my prof had rambled on about. 

Somewhere along the line I found something called a chatroom. I actually found a page that had a group of chatrooms, each with a different vibe. Well while the rest of the class was learning how to ‘right click’, I was chatting with people from all over the place. We had nicknames or “handles”, and mine was “KittyK23”. I met a gal named Medusa in Ireland, a chick named Magenta in Indiana, and a girl named “Peach” in Minnesota. (I also met a guy who would turn out to be my 1st husband and the father of my kids in those chatrooms!) The 4 of us girls became fast friends and before the class was over we had taken over the chatroom. *hair toss*...it’s just a gift of mine. Oh speaking of…actions enclosed in asterisks…yeah, we were among the first internet pioneers to do that shit. I became, and might still be, famous for that *hair toss*, as well as *lipgloss* and *bats eyelashes*. These are things I do in real life all the time, but I did them first in those chatrooms. Aaaaanyway, Peach and Magenta met, Peach and Medusa met, and Peach and KittyK met. And 27 years later, Peach and KittyK are still friends are we are getting together for the first time in like 20 years this coming weekend. She’s still one of my favorite people and she’s the first person I ever chatted with on the internet. *faints*

I started telling this whole long story about the crazy trail blazing days of the dub-dub-dub because when I meet up with her it will be Saturday and that’s the day of the New Moon in Gemini. And…Aaaaand…she’s a Gemini sun and I’m a Gemini rising! AND…we had planned to cheers to our dads who have both passed (Saturn begins to retrograde that same day and makes several aspects to my natal placements that day!), because that’s father’s day weekend. And it happens to be my wedding anniversary! There’s a whole bunch of weird synchronicity happening here.

But enough about me, eh? (The chatrooms of 96 were full of Canadians, and that’s where my love of Canucks started, and now I want to live there real, real bad…[if you did not read that in Jennifer Coolidge’s voice you are fired!])

Gemini is the sign of the twins - we must have faith, and we must reside in these often annoying fleshsuits that limit us. We have to be both spiritual and human, and that duality makes us capable of so much! This new moon is influenced by: Saturn, Eris, Juno, and Neptune. Neptune, in particular, is a very strong energy this weekend. He will form a tight square with this Moon, casting a fog over truth and reality, but deepening our intuition. Neptune might also obscure what we bring into manifestation for a bit too. Faith is the word of the day. The moon sextiles rebellious Eris and conjuncts Juno. Keeping your sense of independence within relationships the vibration of those aspects. Gemini is social and charming and witty, and with Neptune’s influence, there can be a real feeling of love and connectedness. This is a lovely moon for manifesting and setting intentions for the next few weeks. Your individual BitchScope will give you more focus if you need it.

Cheers to lifelong friendships and to the goddamn world wide web!

ARIES - You are set up to receive some deep wisdom and downloads during this new moon. The moon will be in your 3rd house of communication and both Saturn and Neptune will be in your 12th house of spirituality. You might manifest some new and big ideas with this lunation. You might feel torn between staying at home and going out, but chances are the Gemini energy will win, and you’ll be glad.



TAURUS - Get out all your manifesting thingies and go to town. This moon is in your 2nd house of income. So set those intentions for having more money! Check yourself when it comes to spending, however. You could have an itchy “add to cart” finger. Both Saturn and Neptune are giving strong energy to your 11th house of people you know, so there’s a good chance a connection, friend, or potential colleague will emerge from the fog.


GEMINI - Happy New Moon! This moon has great connection between your sense of self and your career. If you’ve been sensing some kind of shift happening, it might be that you are reacquainting yourself with…yourself. And when you become more authentic, it allows you to achieve more in life because you have more clarity. Use this moon to set those kinds of intentions, and then try to be patient because Neptune will cloud this a little bit.


CANCER - Both of your spirituality houses are influenced by this moon - the 9th and the 12th. In the 9th we have Saturn and Neptune and you could easily find inspiration here if you need it. If so, manifest with that in mind and then wait for the fog to lift. The moon itself will be in your 12th house, connecting your human mind to the spiritual side (or “other side”) of life. And that is another source of wisdom and inspiration!


LEO - This moon is all about your connections to other people, which I love for you! The Gemini moon will be in your 11th house of people you know, making for a super social vibe for you to take advantage of. Saturn and Neptune are in your intimate 8th house, taking things deeper. No matter how you look at it, you will have a lot of people around you. Think about trying to manifest more authentic intimacy in both your social and romantic relationships.


VIRGO - This new moon is about partnerships for you. The Gemini new moon is in your 10th house, so if business connections are something you need, I think you can manifest them pretty easily. Granted, you’ll need to be patient and wait for Neptune’s fog to dissipate a bit before you see results. And then Neptune and Saturn are in your 7th house of partnerships (committed, romantic, and professional). This is another source of networking, but also a great opportunity (to manifest or experience) for sweet love and romance too.


LIBRA - The Gemini new moon hits 2 houses that speak to hustling for your dreams. The moon will be in the 9th house of aspirations, belief, and experience, and the influence of Neptune and Saturn will be in the 6th house of day to day grind. Things in the workplace might get kinda weird but trust…it isn’t about you. Just keep doing your thing. These are great placements for you to manifest your big, wild, crazy dreams!


SCORPIO - Well if this isn’t the perfect lunation for a Scorpio! The new moon hits your 8th house of intimacy and Neptune and Saturn will emphasize the sensitivity of your Pisces realm in the 5th house of romance. Be aware with sex because Neptune might obscure things and with a new moon, there could be an unexpected pregnancy (because the 5th house rules children).


SAGITTARIUS - Your marriage and family houses are emphasized with this lunation. The new moon in Gemini hits your 7th house of marriage and committed partnerships. Saturn and Neptune are emphasizing the sensitivity of Pisces in your 4th house of home and family. Tend to your family relationships as needed. Communication is key with all your relationships right now. 


CAPRICORN - Your 6th and 3rd houses are emphasized this week. The New Moon in Gemini hits your 6th house of habit and routine. Neptune and Saturn emphasize the Piscean nature of your 3rd house. Communication and intuition can go hand in hand. And what are your habits when it comes to how you talk to yourself? What percentage of your self talk is supportive and what is critical? Set intentions to create new habits in this area.


AQUARIUS - The houses most emphasized for you this week are the 2nd and the 5th - money and fun! Heyyyy! So, the new moon in Gemini hits your 5th house of fun and romance. That house also rules creativity, and Gemini is pretty smart. You could manifest money with your creative ideas using this new moon in the 2nd as your vehicle. Gemini is dualistic, so you might be able to manifest 2 income steams!


PISCES - This new moon is all about your family and you. The new moon in Gemini is in your 4th house, which makes me think of siblings. Maybe set intentions for better communication with your sibling or other family member. Neptune and Pisces are clouding up your 1st house of self. So you may feel confused about who you are right now. Don’t panic. Maybe that’s something you can lean into your family for.



TRANSITS THIS WEEK

Tuesday 13 June
Venus quincunx Saturn

Wednesday 14 June
Mars trine Great Attractor

Thursday 15 June
Mercury square Saturn

Friday 16 June
Neptune sextile Vesta
Sun sextile Eris

Saturday 17 June
Mercury sextile Venus
Saturn turns retrograde 7° Pisces
New Moon 26° Gemini 09:37 pm PDT
Moon sextile Eris
Moon conjunct Juno
Moon square Neptune

Sunday 18 June
Sun square Neptune
Neptune square Juno
Sun opposite Galactic Center
Mercury trine Chariklo

Monday 19 June
Jupiter sextile Saturn
Mercury opposite Great Attractor

I'm in the ZOA. Dark Matter for Sale. My tragic intellectual crisis - Very bitchy and sweary BitchScopes for the week of June 5th

Now you can find all the podcasts under one roof - "House of Bleep Productions"!  

https://bit.ly/3oXnsmV

(The old links still work but we are trying to pull all listeners into the House of Bleep audience)

Email me: Kelly@thebitchwhisperer.me

Hey all you beautiful Bitches and Bitchsters!

To be honest with you (which I have never been anything but honest, but I do struggle to share my feelings at times), I have been really wrestling lately with feelings about not knowing what the fuck I’m doing with my life. We just recorded a Bitchsplaining episode where I bitched about wanting to quit everything (It’s uploaded and available).

I have been doing Scopes for 7 years and I have these weird Saturnian and Uranian 7 year cycles in my life. Things tend to change or I break up with people/things around 7 years. I always wondered WTF that was about and then I learned via astrology that Saturn has a 28 year trip around the sun and every 7 years makes a square, opposition or conjunction with a point in your chart. And Uranus stays in a sign for 7 years. Because I am Aquarius with a lot of Capricorn (on the cusp…0° Aquarius) I am ruled by both Saturn and Uranus. So maybe that is why I have these 7 year itches. I am a Gemini rising, so I do get bored easily, which is why I always have 57 projects in the wings at all times.

I am just feeling lost, kind of unsure why I am doing any of this.

A couple people told me to take a break. Someone told me to write a book instead. My BFF told me I absolutely was not allowed to quit but I could take a break. (eyeroll). 

So last night I made a decision! I was going to put Bitchscopes to the side for a bit and focus on BitchStory and BitchSplaining.  Or maybe I would put them all to the side. Or maybe not. Ok maybe I didn't make a decision. I did, but...

Here I am writing this. What the fuck, Kelly? Look, Idanno. I was sucked into my office and sat down to look at the transits as I do every weekend. I wasn’t sure if I would actually write horoscopes. I didn’t know what I was doing…I was sort of on autopilot I guess.

Bitchscopes are partly some kind of journaling process for me and partly horoscopes for you. I share my nerdy fascination and apparently some people like it. I guess…? Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to no one. That’s probably just some dumb Aquarian point of view. Why can’t my Leo Moon be louder? I literally shrugged my shoulders after I typed that. I don’t know. I feel like I don’t’ know anything. I’m 50. Aren’t we supposed to be the all knowing goddesses at 50? Fuck!

And then I saw it. And I was reading and fascinated and hooked! I found a new thing to learn and absorb and obsess about. And it is called … The Great Attractor.

The Great Attractor is a mysterious astronomical anomaly. It is remotely similar to the Galactic Center, sort of. The Galactic Center is the center of our Milky Way Galaxy. Sort of a point of rotation. It lies at 26-27° of Sagittarius and is said to be a source of higher truth and knowledge, like a download or inspiration from the Universe itself. Profound. But it's just a point in space and also not what I'm talking about.  The Great Attractor actually DOES stuff. It is at 13° of Sagittarius, and this week it is opposite the Sun. I looked at my chart and it is exactly conjunct my natal Mars.

Ok great Kelly what does this mean you rambling moron?

Well…The Great Attractor is sort of like a black hole…and it devours galaxies, and warps time and space. Apparently all things are moving toward it. It literally sucks. But it has no event horizon like a Black Hole. However, based on how wavelengths of light behave, according to the “hubble flow” (The 'Hubble flow' describes the motion of galaxies due solely to the expansion of the Universe.) it appears to receding…moving away from us. It's made up of “dark matter”, which no one really understands (I relate to dark matter), making it even weirder. So to recap: The Great Attractor is made up of who knows what the fuck Dark Matter, has no event horizon, but it is sucking everything in, warping time, space and light, and yet moving away from us at the same time.

I feel like at least one ex boyfriend could describe me that way…

Here’s Wikipedia’s verbiage on it:

“The Great Attractor is a purported gravitational attraction in intergalactic space and the apparent central gravitational point of the Laniakea Supercluster. This supercluster contains the Milky Way, as well as about 100,000 other galaxies.

The observed attraction suggests a localized concentration of mass millions of times more massive than the Milky Way. However, it is inconveniently obscured by Milky Way's galactic plane, lying behind the Zone of Avoidance (ZOA), so that in visible light wavelengths, the Great Attractor is difficult to observe directly.

The attraction is observable by its effect on the motion of galaxies and their associated clusters over a region of hundreds of millions of light-years across the universe. These galaxies are observable above and below the ZOA; all are redshifted in accordance with the Hubble flow, indicating that they are receding relative to us and to each other, but the variations in their redshifts are large enough and regular enough to reveal that they are slightly drawn towards the attraction. “

(Bleh. My favorite part of that article is the “zone of avoidance”. Hey! I have one of those! It’s a very large and unpredictable zone! I am like an astronomical anomaly!)

Anyway, you should read about it. But having a natal planet like Mars, which is my drives, motivations, my inner fire, conjunct this mysterious suckage of dark matter (that some even refer to as possibly “God”), does seem significant. Dark Matter does sound like something I would maybe decorate my house with. My 8th house placements are like oooooh dark matter, take me! But my Aquarius and Capricorn are like omg…avoidance zone, mother fucker!

Maybe this is why feeling aligned with a purpose seems elusive to me…it's sucking me toward it AND moving away from me. Mars in Sagittarius is very philosophical. I am double air signs (Aquarius and Gemini) so I overthink everything all the time and it all needs to have meaning because Mercury in Capricorn. And yet what even is a purpose, because Pisces midheaven?! And why am I podcasting? And do the soundwaves go out into space infinitely? Should I be worried about my voice being infinite? Is the Great Attractor sucking my voice into itself?

I feel like I could describe at least one ex boyfriend that way…

Anyway, I don’t know the answer to anything at all whatsofuckingever. But here’s your BitchScopes for this week, written in fragment sentences. Scroll to the bottom of the blog and read the transit descriptions to understand this week’s themes.. My Dark Matter is worn the fuck out…

ARIES - Work might get a little weird. What happened in January thru March at work? Things might exist in extremes in your head. You might feel either very on track and aligned in life, or the opposite. Don’t overthink. Your romantic life is looking great. Enjoy that shit.

TAURUS - Scratch your adventure itch. Express yourself. WTF is going on with your most intimate relationship? It looks complicated. Work your connections (or short distance travel) to make more money. Decorate your room / a room.

GEMINI - Joint resources could get back on track. Clarity will come soon. Your current partnerships, romantic and otherwise, are significant and made up of fate and destiny. Talk to your neighbors more. Take an acting class.

CANCER - Focus on your partnerships, you’ll have no choice. You’ll be very busy and then you should retreat. The daily things you do really matter…pay attention to them. Financially, things look good. You might want to buy something that feels like a luxury. Do it, you penny pincher!

LEO - Your routine could get screwed up, either at work or in some other day-to-day way. Lean on your network. Romance matters…lean into it. If you want to change your look, this is a good time to do it (the next few weeks). Go get that sassy haircut and buy a new dress, bitch!

VIRGO - Things regarding children might get weird. (It is temporary and will get better.) You might be overthinking things in regards to your career or public life. Slow down. Focus on home life. Don’t be distracted by “extraneous” lovers or suitors.

LIBRA - A move of some kind is not unlikely between now and end of July. Travel for a party, or communication with someone who lives far away also looks likely. Your thought processes might provide a major breakthrough in something over the next week or so.

SCORPIO - You might feel pissy and pessimistic - yes, over and above your usual nature. Just let the negative thoughts do their thing. They are just thoughts. They aren’t reality. Your money situation could be very up and down over the next couple of weeks. Again, this is temporary. Your mantra: shit is going to be fine. Shit IS fine. I am fine. I am FINE. (repeat)

SAGITTARIUS - Deep thoughts. Feeling like you are a passenger of fate, a canoe on a river with no oars…Knowing you have a deeper purpose but unsure what it is. Boredom with your routine. Here’s a thought: go make some of that money you love. It ain’t gonna show up inside a gourmet tamale…Love you *wink*.

CAPRICORN - You are a powerful bitch. But even a great anti-hero badass feels down sometimes. As long as you don’t hang out with any Scorpios for awhile, you’ll come out of the funk. Love life is good. Work life is inspired. You are far more amazing than you realize.

AQUARIUS - The unconscious mind can be a real asshole. But you’re being given an opportunity to explore where you’ve given away or hidden your personal power. Your tight circle of people will support you whenever you need it. Do the deep work. Explore the old pain. This is temporary. You’re still rad.

PISCES - It’s all about who you know, and you know some good people. Your public life could be significantly boosted by the Universe. It might feel like some tug of war at times. Lean in to your most deeply held beliefs to center yourself. Stay in touch with your family.




TRANSITS THIS WEEK

Sunday 04 June 

Sun opposite Great Attractor - gravity, pushing, receding. Everything everywhere all at once.

Monday 05 June
Venus opposite Pluto - jealousy etc
Venus enters Leo - proud bold affectionate
Sun sextile Pallas - clarity/expression of vision and purpose

Tuesday 06 June
Mercury conjunct Vesta - attuned to spiritual mission

Wednesday 07 June
Sun sextile Lilith - you are a beacon of independence

Thursday 08 June
Venus square Lunar Nodes - avoidance of things that make you uncomfortable (good and bad)

Friday 09 June
Mercury sextile Neptune - creative/sensitive
Mercury quincunx Galactic Center - higher truth/confusion about future/purpose
Mercury trine Ceres - express compassion and love thru words

Saturday 10 June
Sun sextile Chiron - acceptance of vulnerabilities becomes a strength

Sunday 11 June
Mercury trine Pluto - asking for favors and talking people into things
Venus square Jupiter - good for recreation and fun, not great for productivity and work
Pluto Retrograde enters Cap - UGH. This means Pluto is at 29° Cap, and we will be revisiting a lot of the drama and upheaval from when he was there before…in jan - March of this year.
Mercury enters Gemini - intellectual energy on lock!
Mars opposite Chariklo - instincts in conflict with wounds/healing

PLANETS THIS WEEK

SUN - Gemini
MERCURY  --> Gemini
VENUS --> Leo
MARS - Leo
JUPITER - Taurus
SATURN - Pisces
URANUS - Taurus
NEPTUNE - Pisces
PLUTO --> Capricorn (Rx)
CHIRON - Aries
CHARIKLO - Aquarius
CHAOS - Gemini 
N. NODE - Taurus
CERES - Virgo 
PALLAS - Leo
JUNO - Gemini
VESTA - Taurus
LILITH - Leo
ERIS - Aries
SIRIUS- Cancer (fixed)