Re-Feminist History - badass women in history

Sunday, September 27, 2020

Hug it out, Bitch...BitchScopes for 9/28-10/4 -



9/28 Venus trine Mars - nice flow between masculine and feminine. Good aspect for relationships and affection

9/28 Saturn direct in Capricorn - we can find our path again and focus on what needs to be done. This comes with responsibility. But the internal anarchy of Saturn retrograde should quiet down and we won’t resent having to “adult” so much

9/29 Mars square Saturn - We had this transit in August, and we will have it again in January (but by then Mars will be direct so it will feel different). Mars square Saturn transit brings frustration and inhibition. Your desires are strong, and your responsibilities are stronger. The harder you push, the more you’ll meet resistance. Authority issues may come up around this time.

9/29 Sun opposite Chiron - confronting our wounds

10/1 Full Moon in Aries 2:06pm - This full moon is strongly influenced by Mars retrograde square Saturn. This indicates frustration and anger that has been building for at least one month.

10/2 Sun quincunx Uranus - nervous energy. Hard to settle down. You know...bajiggity

10/2 Venus enters Virgo - practicality with money and expression. Less spendy, less effusive.

10/3 Pluto quincunx North Node - a calling to your higher purpose (karmic lessons included at no extra charge)

10/3 Mars conjunct Eris - pretty heavy warrior energy. Mars would seek justice for the marginalized in our society. Mars retrograde might either internalize this or unhinge it...

10/4 Pluto turns direct - Whatever Pluto has discovered in the underworld, the dirty secrets of the powerful, will come up again for review

10/4 Mercury quincunx Chiron - You might feel more anxious than usual (looking at this whole week that might not be a surprise); Subtle changes in your personal world may feel more upsetting. This is a perfect storm for “foot in mouth disease” flare-ups too. Comment carefully…


There are 2 big planets stationing direct this week, which is great. Pluto and Saturn both resume forward motion. However these are slow movers and when a planet is stationing, its energy is the weakest and least predictable. So this could feel bajiggity for a good couple weeks. Oh Yay.

The good news is that now that these 2 are moving forward, more truth can be brought to light. While we are still experiencing a lot of Covid related crap, breakthroughs and progress are far more possible now.

Politics will get uglier. You don’t need an astrologer to tell you that. But it’s all hands on deck for the shit flinging now. The bright side of that is that seeing everyone’s cards on the table might be helpful. Maybe.

The Mars Saturn square returns again and it’s pissy. It has heavy influence on the Aries Full Moon. I wouldn’t expect a peaceful full moon this month. (If you work in an ER I would love to hear about your Full Moon weekend).

But wait, there’s more! If you call now (you are already on hold), you’ll also get to confront your personal and collective wounds, feel nervous and bajiggity, and want to fight with everyone even more than you have for the last few weeks! How exciting! All for the low, low special weekly value of FREE! That’s right, all this is FREE with your subscription to a lifetime Fleshsuit Membership!

Just hug a puppy, hug your spouse, hug your kid, hug yourself, hug your parent or sibling, hug a body pillow. Hug and drink something soothing.

Last Thursday on BitchSplaining, Katie Weaver and I did a show about 100 ways to feel better right now. This week might be a great time to bust out that list and do some of it. You can find it in the on demand section at 12Radio (here’s the link). We will be fine. We’re just having collective PMS right now.


Here’s your individual scopes:


ARIES: While you might feel tense because your ruler, Mars, is running around pissing off other planets, there’s also a good chance you could be feeling very in love these days. While it might feel awkward to do so, slowing down will help you get more done. “Downshift” does not mean “downfall” I know you like to run, but as Thoreau said: “It is a great art to saunter”.


TAURUS
: Regret is a terrible color on you. Try to release regret for things that did not turn out the way you wanted. Try to learn from the process rather than stewing in bitterness. I mean, we know you love to stew, but...its bad for your skin. Avoid victim thinking and behavior as much as you can. If you can take ownership of things that went off course and embrace them as Divine intervention, you will make a lot of progress toward that goal you’re working on.


GEMINI:
You really aren’t trapped by your busy schedule. It is entirely possible that you’ve created a sense of being very busy so you can avoid something else. You know what that something else is. This week would be a good time to confront that part of you that is afraid to make a choice. Are you afraid of failure, or are you afraid of success?


CANCER
: You are exiting a situation, period of time, or phase of life that has been difficult. I feel this is probably romance related, but it could be other stuff. The past is behind you and while you can’t really forget it because it shaped you, you can just observe it without hating it. You deserve joy...choose it.


LEO: Well while I hate cliches and platitudes, oh hell maybe I’m kidding myself. I kinda love a cliche. Here’s yours. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. There’s a resistance to something in your life that is blocking a richer experience for you. If you’ve been trying to manifest something and wondering why it hasn’t arrived, consider that you may be putting some conditions on the Universe’s delivery. The bad parts you fear are not going to outweigh the good parts!


VIRGO:
While the rest of the world is exercising their bitchface, you might find yourself very focused on a goal. If you aren’t already experiencing it, a period of more stability is coming for you even as I type this. What will help you get there is the ability to say NO to things that don’t contribute to that particular goal. For you, this might mean saying no to certain work. Work on your boundaries.


LIBRA: While you may feel very restless right now, try to be still and with yourself. If you’re resisting fear or sadness or anger, you’re setting yourself up to be a bitter bitch. Allow the feelings to come up and let them flow. Meditation could be very useful during this time to help you release and move through the emotions, or even transmute them and exchange them for more joy.


SCORPIO: Stick to your plan, be true to yourself, follow your gut. Don’t be tempted by other people’s advice when it comes to finance, investments, or career. Your gut will lead you to more success. You should still be practical and use your resources wisely. But don’t feel like you have to get in the box that everyone else is in.


SAGITTARIUS:
You will have reason to celebrate something very soon. But here’s the thing: the thing you immediately thought of when you read that? That’s not it. Its a different surprise! How cool is that? Be sure to check in with your sense of gratitude, even before you receive the good news. Also, be forthright with your feelings - don’t assume people know how you feel.


CAPRICORN: Hi, its me with a cliche again: Your thoughts create your reality. So train your brain to expect great things. When you find yourself feeling negative, flip that script to the opposite situation and expect that. You might also be well served by saying less to, well, everyone, this week. No you need not take a vow of silence...you wish. But maybe back off of social media this week, or choose to not comment.


AQUARIUS:
Your innate intelligence will serve you well right now (it always does, but moreso now). You are the sign of genius so flex your brain muscles this week. Not only will this distract you from fighting with people on social media or in protests, it will help detox you from some of the insecurity you’ve been feeling lately. Consider doing something creative to get your juices flowing.


PISCES: Hey you know that thing you’ve been worrying about? That thing you’ve been trying to figure out from every angle and planning for every nuanced outcome...yeah that thing. Stop it. Its time for you to connect to your angels, guides, higher self, and God/Goddess to get the answers that you need. The thing you’ve been fixated on will work out just fine. You’re missing something about the situation, so meditate and see what comes up.

Friday, September 25, 2020

99 ways to feel better right now!



 Katie Weaver and I came up with this list of ways to make yourself feel better right away! 


  1. Listen to your favorite song from 5th grade
  2. Wear some fancy clothes (even if just around the house)
  3. Go for a walk
  4. Cook one of your grandma’s recipes
  5. Do your make up
  6. Drink something warm
  7. Learn a new language (even if just a few words)
  8. Watch videos of babies laughing (at dogs)
  9. Read a good book
  10. Take a bath
  11. Meditate
  12. Brush your teeth
  13. Eat chocolate
  14. Hold a baby
  15. Crystals (rose quartz and rhodolite, blue kyanite, larimar)
  16. Research a day trip
  17. Fresh flowers
  18. Watch/listen to some stand up comedy (YouTube/Netflix Try Brian Regan & Jim Gaffigan - clean)
  19. Listen to the sound of rain or running stream or ocean
  20. Decorate something: a cupcake, a room, a scrapbook
  21. Rearrange your furniture
  22. Hug a tree (heart on tree)
  23. Put on lotion
  24. Talk to an old friend or an older relative
  25. Smudge yourself/your space
  26. Verbal clearings/affirmations
  27. A cup of tea
  28. Look for feathers
  29. View art
  30. Take a drive
  31. Diffuse or wear bergamot essential oils
  32. Pay for someone else’s drinks at the coffee shop
  33. Open a window
  34. Bake something
  35. Paint a wall or piece of furniture
  36. Get your feelings out (try a sad movie to get your sadness moving. Journal if you’re angry then burn the paper)
  37. Windchimes
  38. Citrus Fruits (eat em, smell em, juggle em?)
  39. Exfoliate/scrub
  40. Eat dessert first
  41. Pizza
  42. Some silence
  43. Bird song
  44. Eat Root vegetables and earthy foods
  45. Sniff grapefruit oil
  46. Create art (even if it sucks)
  47. Throw a living room dance party
  48. A hug/physical touch
  49. Burn something
  50. Go to the beach
  51. Plant something
  52. Orgasm
  53. Make cookies
  54. Watch cat videos online
  55. Paint rocks and hide them for others to find
  56. Drink a glass of water
  57. Color your hair
  58. Fun underwear
  59. Take off your bra
  60. Listen to a podcast
  61. Look at old family photos
  62. Pull a few cards
  63. Eat some chili peppers (endorphins)
  64. Put socks on
  65. Feed a homeless person
  66. Look for cool rocks
  67. Put your bare feet on grass
  68. Paint your toenails
  69. Comb your hair
  70. Learn a joke to try out on your family
  71. Give a small gift to someone/pay it forward
  72. Have a glass of wine
  73. Sing
  74. Look for cool bugs
  75. Eat A bowl of cold cereal
  76. Hot shower
  77. Make 5 nice comments on social media
  78. Read funny Amazon reviews
  79. Nurture something
  80. Fresh sheets (optional: with shaved legs)
  81. Search out a meaningful poem
  82. Throw rocks
  83. Listening to Music/dance/sing
  84. Float in water (or take a bath)
  85. Eat Pasta or potatoes
  86. Organize something (purse, drawer, make up, closet)
  87. Play with money (a stack of 1s, 20s, 100s...whatever you got. Feel it, smell it, spend some time with it. Pull it out of the bank and put it back in later that day)
  88. Colored light (colored glasses/light bulbs)
  89. Stretch (stretching the back releases endorphins)
  90. Cuddle a pet
  91. Go home
  92. Feed the birds
  93. Connect with ArchAngel Jophiel
  94. Turn off the lights and light some candles
  95. Give yourself a facial
  96. Wander a cool cemetery
  97. Sleep
  98. Eat a popsicle
  99. Leave sweet notes in public bathrooms

Sunday, September 13, 2020

Who Dis?


Rrrrriiing ring

    Hello?

Hi, is this Ms. McClain?

    Mmmm, who dis?

We are calling from the Astrological Fuckery Department of the Cosmic Forum of Earth Fuckery. We are calling today on behalf of Mars, planet getting shit done.

    Oh. I….

We would like to know if you’d like a 2 month subscription to demotivation?

    Well, not re…

Great! We think you’ll really love Mars retrograde. AND what’s more, with that subscription you get almost 2 more bonus months of frustration for absolutely no charge!

    I don’t think I’m ….

Fantastic! We’re so happy we could fuck with you. We’d also like to offer you 3 hours today of cleaning out drawers of junk you haven’t looked at in a decade in as a way of distracting yourself from the actual work you need to do. Doesn’t that sound great?

    No. it sounds dusty and pointless!

Awesome! Please enjoy your 3 hours of wasting time, procrastinating and feeling like not doing jack shit! Your free trial with Mars will end in November, but your full motivation will stay away until January! So exciting! What a great time to be alive. What a great time to feel uninspired! What a great time to lose track of all the projects you’ve wanted to take on! Just in time for nicer weather too!

    I don’t…

Have a wonderful day Ms. McClain. Enjoy your fuckery.

Click



I mean, here’s the transits and shit. But don’t expect to feel like doing anything with or about them. This New Moon in Virgo feels like a turning point to me. I feel like the inner tension will shift directions. If you’re feeling chill Monday through Wednesday, the 2nd half of the week could feel frustrating. And if you start the week feeling frustrated, Thursday through Sunday you may feel a release.

Or you may just sit on the couch and seethe about that thing that happened 5 years ago. That’s ok too... These are bitchscopes, not pollyannascopes. 


9/14 Sun trine Pluto - drive for power, deep and profound experience

9/15 Venus square Uranus - unexpected urges, desire for freedom, relationship hiccups

9/16 Sun quincunx Eris - suppression of discord. Feeling your point of view is stifled

9/16 Sun square Lunar Nodes - a challenge that arises may be the key to a boost in some area of your life.

9/17 Mercury square Jupiter
- Lots of information and communication to be had, but sifting through the crap from the useful stuff can be confusing. Tendency to over expand in too many directions

9/17 Moon conjunct Sun (NEW MOON) 4:00 am PDT - Sun conjuncts Moon in Virgo. Virgo’s analytical and organizational skills are highly activated today and each sign can use them to TRY to get things done, even while retrograde Mars makes faces at you. . (Virgo falls in my 4th house, which is why I’ve been going through ancient boxes and drawers, purging old shit, re-purposing other stuff, and organizing my desk)

9/17 Sun trine Saturn - a great transit for self discipline and hard work. This pairs so beautifully with the New Moon, and that Mercury square Jupiter. But if you find yourself staring at a blank computer screen, blame Mars.

9/18 North Node sextile Eris - a beautiful opportunity to meditate on righteous anger. Where and how is it destructive, and where and how can you harness it to move yourself (and maybe others) forward.

9/18 Mercury quincunx Neptune - chill. Don’t try to make rational sense of things. Observe. Listen with your heart, not your brain.

9/19 Sun quincunx Mars - the excitement that turns you on, may also be your detriment. Also, your instinct may be out of tune today.

9/20 Mercury square Pluto - mental obsession. Singular focus. Rabbit holes



ARIES- a reconnection with someone from your past may crop up this week. This is likely someone pretty far back, perhaps even your childhood. There is good energy here, and good memories, which might help you get in touch with some part of yourself that you had put on a shelf, and it could benefit you now. (These are the gifts of retrogrades)


TAURUS
- you may feel tempted this week, or start to question your path. Oh Mars retrograde, you’re so cute. This energy may also present itself as denial about something, or fear of a conflict. Are you swallowing your words to keep the peace? This is a trauma response. Get in touch with your inner Mars.


GEMINI - Don’t be reckless this week, or naive about a situation. Idealism can lead to rash decisions and false starts. There is an adventure ahead of you, but you need to pump the breaks and do some recon of the situation and your surroundings. Your dream is more than worthy, just ground yourself.


CANCER- well you’re kinda on fire this week! Your decision making ability is on point. There is also an indication that a period of intense work and planning will start to flower and show fruit. Legal situations look good for you right now as well.


LEO - Well it may not be the smoothest week. You may find yourself emotionally overwhelmed by a current source of conflict. Are you spending too much time dwelling on the past or worrying about the future? Use this earthy new moon in Virgo to ground and clear your head.


VIRGO
- Your past is disrupting your present. Your baggage is taking up too much room in your living room. Are you grieving? Or are you just feeling guilty and judging yourself for something in the past? There’s a big difference. Grief is healthy, guilt is not. Do some clearing work.


LIBRA
- Your routine or a lifestyle you’ve become accustomed to is likely to become disrupted this week or soon thereafter. It could be a very positive change, but it will still require an adjustment to what you’ve become used to.


SCORPIO - You may feel like withdrawing pretty dramatically. That is, your departure may literally be dramatic, or you may just feel like making your withdrawal kind of extreme. You may feel disappointed or abandoned by someone you’ve trusted. This feels work related. And while it will sting, it is an action taken by you, not at you, and it is a choice. Alternatively, this could be regarding something that you may have stayed in past its expiration date. Walk away and re evaluate.


SAGITTARIUS - You are really close to seeing something made manifest. Your ship is coming in. Your personal empire may experience expansion very soon, or you may find yourself on an airplane. Yes, even during these strange times. It will make you happy. Try to stay in your joy this week.


CAPRICORN
- Someone in your life may have made some crappy choices, likely regarding finances. You may feel like the victim of your debtors. Or someone close may fail to support you in a way that was previously secured. This really doesn’t have the direct affect on you that you fear, it is just in your sphere of experience so try not to over react.


AQUARIUS
- You may actually benefit in finances this week. The “system” (yes, the one you probably despise) may work in your favor. You will find support and stability after a period of shittiness. And if you need to know if you’re on the right track with something (what came to mind just now when you read that?) - yes. You are.


PISCES - a personal or business partner may let you down this week. But in truth, your expectations may have paved this road. You may also feel unappreciated and like its time to take your ball and go home. If you do, you will find your people and the appreciation you aren’t feeling now.

Sunday, September 6, 2020

Is it hot in here?


The big news this week is Mars stationing retrograde on Wednesday.
This retrograde is less common than the other planets’ retros and only happens once every 26 months. It packs a good deal of punch and we have a tendency to gloss over its impact. Mars has been in its home sign of Aries since June 27th. He normally spends about a month and a half, but his time in Aries has been extended because of where he is in his orbit. Mars’ path will start at 28° and back up to 15° where it will turn direct on November 14th.

What’s interesting to me is that during this most powerful Mars position in its home sign, where he is more war-like, we won’t see it reach its full potential. We don’t get a 29° of mars in Aries! He has been fueling our anger, our initiative, our passions for months; he gets right up to 28° then he starts retrograding. Then in November he goes back over the degrees from 15° forward. But we don’t get 29° of Aries until the 5th of January!

I would liken this to collective blue balls. (Yes, I could have likened this to a sneeze that won’t come out. But this is Bitchscopes, and we aren’t beating around the bush. Ha. Besides, women also get the equivalent of blue balls, and more often thank you very much. So I will stick with that metaphor...)

As I was saying...we have all the drive, all the excitement, all the sensations, but we can’t quite get to climax or orgasm. And oh we are trying! Then we stop trying and we might mope for a bit; maybe we take a cold shower or go to the gym Eventually we WILL get that big O. Will it be satisfying? Yes. Will it be its MOST satisfying? That depends on the work you do until then. Your astrological, spiritual foreplay is to be conscious, clear about your goals an desires, clear about what you do and don’t want, willing to give a bit more than is comfortable to it, willing to go into the battle fully prepared to die. There is a French euphemism for the word “orgasm” - Le Petite Mort, which means “the little death”* While I may be wandering into the symbolism of the 8th house a bit, I feel this still fits. Full vulnerability is the (only?) (Best?) most effective to reach orgasm. But one must also be fully embodied, in touch with one’s own breath etc.


*(According to the Dictionnaire de la langue française, at least the editions between 1863 and 1874, this was a 19th-century expression for “le frisson”, the shivers. Honoré de Balzac used it this way in several works, including La peau de chagrin and Une instruction criminelle. It's possible that the English adopted it as a high-class euphemism for "orgasm," and then later came to assume that it had meant the same in French.)

Where was I? Um, Venus, no...Mars...Yes. Mars. 

Mars rules all of our drives, our energy as a whole. His retrograde can bring you some peace, some clarity, and also some frustration. But the real test comes this winter. Plan your strategy like a good warrior.

In refreshing news this week, Jupiter will station direct after months of retrograde in the Council Chamber of Covid Capricorns. She’s been in there with Saturn and Pluto, trying her best to keep things level. She gets to bust out of that total drag of a party this week and continue forward on her mission. She’s been fully informed of the deeper purposes of the Capricorn council, and will proceed into more humanitarian territory in December (when some other interesting breakthroughs are likely), thank goddess!

Now, on with the week!


September 9th: Sun trine Jupiter
- positive and optimistic, also a good money day

September 9th: Mars Retrograde in Aries
Mars moves backwards until November 14th. .This is a less common and powerful transit. Having retrograde Mars in his home sign of Aries, the way you see yourself is under scrutiny. Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Strategize more than act. Plan get clear about your desires. Keep your temper in check. Think before you act. Drive carefully and be very aware of others. Find an outlet for your frustration.

September 10 Mercury opposition Chiron - the courage to face whatever needs healing

September 11th: Sun opposite Neptune - confusion possible. Don’t be deceived

September 12th: Jupiter Direct in Capricorn
Jupiter began retrograding in May. We’ve been forced to be disciplined, and we understand our purpose, even if a little more on the unconscious side. Our optimism will slowly return and our exuberance for life will find expression again.

September 12th: Mercury inconjunct Uranus - push your ideas past your usual boundaries, explore new mental ground. Control your thoughts. The energy of invention.

September 13: Venus trine Chiron - relationship needs and awareness of personal needs for safety can shift


ARIES: With your ruling planet going retrograde for a pretty intense period, you’re likely to feel the frustration as the weeks tick by. Strategize. Plan. You will find stability and power in having a battle plan. You are in charge of your own life, now more than ever. Establish a good way of releasing energy.


TAURUS:
Whatever challenge comes up now, or in the coming days, you are more than equipped to face it, deal with it, and succeed. Don’t second guess yourself or sell yourself short. You DO have the tools and you ARE worthy of the opportunity that is coming.


GEMINI: The light at the end of the tunnel should be coming in to view soon. Of course you won’t see if it your eyes are squinched shut. But the end of a difficult period is here and you can breathe. Movement is coming.


CANCER: Ironically during this time of retrograde, you may see progress. Things you’ve been trying to get off the ground may suddenly soar. New beginnings are here, and they offer a change of direction that can bring more happiness


LEO:
You are one of the signs that may really start thriving now and in the coming weeks. Check in with your sense of gratitude and polish up your affirmations. You are in a window of manifestation and inspiration and your mind set matters now!


VIRGO: The sun is in your sign now, and that energy is at your back. However, if you have your head in the clouds too much, you can get taken advantage of in the coming week or 2. If you’re feeling distracted by things like refrigerator organization and color coding towels, make sure you are paying attention to the world outside as well.


LIBRA:
Ready, Set, GO. When the challenge or the call arises, and it will soon, you’ll be ready. Right? This would be your sign to GET ready, whatever that may mean. Whatever the thing is, you already have it in mind. A new adventure awaits and it’s coming soon!


SCORPIO: You may not like this message, Scorp...but it is not only OK to ask for help, it is highly encouraged. That may not be the shitty humble pie you immediately suspect it to be. You may be ready to hire an assistant or expand some part of your life. This could be a partnership of almost any flavor. But the key to its success is sharing the ...everything.


SAGITTARIUS: Try to get your ponies in a line. Your finances may be tied up or restricted for a period of time so you’d be wise to be aware and prepared. It’s very possible that this is the result of a new job or change of jobs, which feels very positive. But that transitional period could be touchy. Just be prudent for the next few weeks until your ruler, Jupiter, is at full speed.


CAPRICORN: Your good friend frustration may finally be moving out! You currently have the ability to attract just the right team to help you with your goals. Their influences may be subtle, but you’ll know them when you meet them. With Jupiter turning direct in your sign, you have some rocket boost type energy at your back for the rest of the year.


AQUARIUS: You’d be well served to do some release work now regarding the past. If some people come to mind as you read this, then ...bingo! Whatever resentments you may be holding (and they may have just revisited you very recently), it is to your benefit to clear them and let them go now. I don’t like using the word forgiveness, per se. This is more about scrubbing that energy off of yourself so you can move forward unencumbered. But if forgiveness happens, that’s great!
PISCES: Your investments (primarly in yourself!) will pay off! If you’re thinking of returning to school, do it. If there’s another self investment on your mind, do it. Have patience for the process, but the harvest will be worth it! Reflection and meditation and other awareness work will yield great results for you.

PISCES: Your investments (primarly in yourself!) will pay off! If you’re thinking of returning to school, do it. If there’s another self investment on your mind, do it. Have patience for the process, but the harvest will be worth it! Reflection and meditation and other awareness work will yield great results for you.