Now you can find all the podcasts under one roof - "House of Bleep Productions"!
(The old links still work but we are trying to pull all listeners into the House of Bleep audience)
Email me: Kelly@thebitchwhisperer.me
Hey all you beautiful Bitches and Bitchsters!
To be honest with you (which I have never been anything but honest, but I do struggle to share my feelings at times), I have been really wrestling lately with feelings about not knowing what the fuck I’m doing with my life. We just recorded a Bitchsplaining episode where I bitched about wanting to quit everything (It’s uploaded and available).
I have been doing Scopes for 7 years and I have these weird Saturnian and Uranian 7 year cycles in my life. Things tend to change or I break up with people/things around 7 years. I always wondered WTF that was about and then I learned via astrology that Saturn has a 28 year trip around the sun and every 7 years makes a square, opposition or conjunction with a point in your chart. And Uranus stays in a sign for 7 years. Because I am Aquarius with a lot of Capricorn (on the cusp…0° Aquarius) I am ruled by both Saturn and Uranus. So maybe that is why I have these 7 year itches. I am a Gemini rising, so I do get bored easily, which is why I always have 57 projects in the wings at all times.
I am just feeling lost, kind of unsure why I am doing any of this.
A couple people told me to take a break. Someone told me to write a book instead. My BFF told me I absolutely was not allowed to quit but I could take a break. (eyeroll).
So last night I made a decision! I was going to put Bitchscopes to the side for a bit and focus on BitchStory and BitchSplaining. Or maybe I would put them all to the side. Or maybe not. Ok maybe I didn't make a decision. I did, but...
Here I am writing this. What the fuck, Kelly? Look, Idanno. I was sucked into my office and sat down to look at the transits as I do every weekend. I wasn’t sure if I would actually write horoscopes. I didn’t know what I was doing…I was sort of on autopilot I guess.
Bitchscopes are partly some kind of journaling process for me and partly horoscopes for you. I share my nerdy fascination and apparently some people like it. I guess…? Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to no one. That’s probably just some dumb Aquarian point of view. Why can’t my Leo Moon be louder? I literally shrugged my shoulders after I typed that. I don’t know. I feel like I don’t’ know anything. I’m 50. Aren’t we supposed to be the all knowing goddesses at 50? Fuck!
And then I saw it. And I was reading and fascinated and hooked! I found a new thing to learn and absorb and obsess about. And it is called … The Great Attractor.
The Great Attractor is a mysterious astronomical anomaly. It is remotely similar to the Galactic Center, sort of. The Galactic Center is the center of our Milky Way Galaxy. Sort of a point of rotation. It lies at 26-27° of Sagittarius and is said to be a source of higher truth and knowledge, like a download or inspiration from the Universe itself. Profound. But it's just a point in space and also not what I'm talking about. The Great Attractor actually DOES stuff. It is at 13° of Sagittarius, and this week it is opposite the Sun. I looked at my chart and it is exactly conjunct my natal Mars.
Ok great Kelly what does this mean you rambling moron?
Well…The Great Attractor is sort of like a black hole…and it devours galaxies, and warps time and space. Apparently all things are moving toward it. It literally sucks. But it has no event horizon like a Black Hole. However, based on how wavelengths of light behave, according to the “hubble flow” (The 'Hubble flow' describes the motion of galaxies due solely to the expansion of the Universe.) it appears to receding…moving away from us. It's made up of “dark matter”, which no one really understands (I relate to dark matter), making it even weirder. So to recap: The Great Attractor is made up of who knows what the fuck Dark Matter, has no event horizon, but it is sucking everything in, warping time, space and light, and yet moving away from us at the same time.
I feel like at least one ex boyfriend could describe me that way…
Here’s Wikipedia’s verbiage on it:
“The Great Attractor is a purported gravitational attraction in intergalactic space and the apparent central gravitational point of the Laniakea Supercluster. This supercluster contains the Milky Way, as well as about 100,000 other galaxies.
The observed attraction suggests a localized concentration of mass millions of times more massive than the Milky Way. However, it is inconveniently obscured by Milky Way's galactic plane, lying behind the Zone of Avoidance (ZOA), so that in visible light wavelengths, the Great Attractor is difficult to observe directly.
The attraction is observable by its effect on the motion of galaxies and their associated clusters over a region of hundreds of millions of light-years across the universe. These galaxies are observable above and below the ZOA; all are redshifted in accordance with the Hubble flow, indicating that they are receding relative to us and to each other, but the variations in their redshifts are large enough and regular enough to reveal that they are slightly drawn towards the attraction. “
To be honest with you (which I have never been anything but honest, but I do struggle to share my feelings at times), I have been really wrestling lately with feelings about not knowing what the fuck I’m doing with my life. We just recorded a Bitchsplaining episode where I bitched about wanting to quit everything (It’s uploaded and available).
I have been doing Scopes for 7 years and I have these weird Saturnian and Uranian 7 year cycles in my life. Things tend to change or I break up with people/things around 7 years. I always wondered WTF that was about and then I learned via astrology that Saturn has a 28 year trip around the sun and every 7 years makes a square, opposition or conjunction with a point in your chart. And Uranus stays in a sign for 7 years. Because I am Aquarius with a lot of Capricorn (on the cusp…0° Aquarius) I am ruled by both Saturn and Uranus. So maybe that is why I have these 7 year itches. I am a Gemini rising, so I do get bored easily, which is why I always have 57 projects in the wings at all times.
I am just feeling lost, kind of unsure why I am doing any of this.
A couple people told me to take a break. Someone told me to write a book instead. My BFF told me I absolutely was not allowed to quit but I could take a break. (eyeroll).
So last night I made a decision! I was going to put Bitchscopes to the side for a bit and focus on BitchStory and BitchSplaining. Or maybe I would put them all to the side. Or maybe not. Ok maybe I didn't make a decision. I did, but...
Here I am writing this. What the fuck, Kelly? Look, Idanno. I was sucked into my office and sat down to look at the transits as I do every weekend. I wasn’t sure if I would actually write horoscopes. I didn’t know what I was doing…I was sort of on autopilot I guess.
Bitchscopes are partly some kind of journaling process for me and partly horoscopes for you. I share my nerdy fascination and apparently some people like it. I guess…? Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to no one. That’s probably just some dumb Aquarian point of view. Why can’t my Leo Moon be louder? I literally shrugged my shoulders after I typed that. I don’t know. I feel like I don’t’ know anything. I’m 50. Aren’t we supposed to be the all knowing goddesses at 50? Fuck!
And then I saw it. And I was reading and fascinated and hooked! I found a new thing to learn and absorb and obsess about. And it is called … The Great Attractor.
The Great Attractor is a mysterious astronomical anomaly. It is remotely similar to the Galactic Center, sort of. The Galactic Center is the center of our Milky Way Galaxy. Sort of a point of rotation. It lies at 26-27° of Sagittarius and is said to be a source of higher truth and knowledge, like a download or inspiration from the Universe itself. Profound. But it's just a point in space and also not what I'm talking about. The Great Attractor actually DOES stuff. It is at 13° of Sagittarius, and this week it is opposite the Sun. I looked at my chart and it is exactly conjunct my natal Mars.
Ok great Kelly what does this mean you rambling moron?
Well…The Great Attractor is sort of like a black hole…and it devours galaxies, and warps time and space. Apparently all things are moving toward it. It literally sucks. But it has no event horizon like a Black Hole. However, based on how wavelengths of light behave, according to the “hubble flow” (The 'Hubble flow' describes the motion of galaxies due solely to the expansion of the Universe.) it appears to receding…moving away from us. It's made up of “dark matter”, which no one really understands (I relate to dark matter), making it even weirder. So to recap: The Great Attractor is made up of who knows what the fuck Dark Matter, has no event horizon, but it is sucking everything in, warping time, space and light, and yet moving away from us at the same time.
I feel like at least one ex boyfriend could describe me that way…
Here’s Wikipedia’s verbiage on it:
“The Great Attractor is a purported gravitational attraction in intergalactic space and the apparent central gravitational point of the Laniakea Supercluster. This supercluster contains the Milky Way, as well as about 100,000 other galaxies.
The observed attraction suggests a localized concentration of mass millions of times more massive than the Milky Way. However, it is inconveniently obscured by Milky Way's galactic plane, lying behind the Zone of Avoidance (ZOA), so that in visible light wavelengths, the Great Attractor is difficult to observe directly.
The attraction is observable by its effect on the motion of galaxies and their associated clusters over a region of hundreds of millions of light-years across the universe. These galaxies are observable above and below the ZOA; all are redshifted in accordance with the Hubble flow, indicating that they are receding relative to us and to each other, but the variations in their redshifts are large enough and regular enough to reveal that they are slightly drawn towards the attraction. “
(Bleh. My favorite part of that article is the “zone of avoidance”. Hey! I have one of those! It’s a very large and unpredictable zone! I am like an astronomical anomaly!)
Anyway, you should read about it. But having a natal planet like Mars, which is my drives, motivations, my inner fire, conjunct this mysterious suckage of dark matter (that some even refer to as possibly “God”), does seem significant. Dark Matter does sound like something I would maybe decorate my house with. My 8th house placements are like oooooh dark matter, take me! But my Aquarius and Capricorn are like omg…avoidance zone, mother fucker!
Maybe this is why feeling aligned with a purpose seems elusive to me…it's sucking me toward it AND moving away from me. Mars in Sagittarius is very philosophical. I am double air signs (Aquarius and Gemini) so I overthink everything all the time and it all needs to have meaning because Mercury in Capricorn. And yet what even is a purpose, because Pisces midheaven?! And why am I podcasting? And do the soundwaves go out into space infinitely? Should I be worried about my voice being infinite? Is the Great Attractor sucking my voice into itself?
I feel like I could describe at least one ex boyfriend that way…
Anyway, you should read about it. But having a natal planet like Mars, which is my drives, motivations, my inner fire, conjunct this mysterious suckage of dark matter (that some even refer to as possibly “God”), does seem significant. Dark Matter does sound like something I would maybe decorate my house with. My 8th house placements are like oooooh dark matter, take me! But my Aquarius and Capricorn are like omg…avoidance zone, mother fucker!
I feel like I could describe at least one ex boyfriend that way…
Anyway, I don’t know the answer to anything at all whatsofuckingever. But here’s your BitchScopes for this week, written in fragment sentences. Scroll to the bottom of the blog and read the transit descriptions to understand this week’s themes.. My Dark Matter is worn the fuck out…
ARIES - Work might get a little weird. What happened in January thru March at work? Things might exist in extremes in your head. You might feel either very on track and aligned in life, or the opposite. Don’t overthink. Your romantic life is looking great. Enjoy that shit.
TAURUS - Scratch your adventure itch. Express yourself. WTF is going on with your most intimate relationship? It looks complicated. Work your connections (or short distance travel) to make more money. Decorate your room / a room.
GEMINI - Joint resources could get back on track. Clarity will come soon. Your current partnerships, romantic and otherwise, are significant and made up of fate and destiny. Talk to your neighbors more. Take an acting class.
CANCER - Focus on your partnerships, you’ll have no choice. You’ll be very busy and then you should retreat. The daily things you do really matter…pay attention to them. Financially, things look good. You might want to buy something that feels like a luxury. Do it, you penny pincher!
LEO - Your routine could get screwed up, either at work or in some other day-to-day way. Lean on your network. Romance matters…lean into it. If you want to change your look, this is a good time to do it (the next few weeks). Go get that sassy haircut and buy a new dress, bitch!
VIRGO - Things regarding children might get weird. (It is temporary and will get better.) You might be overthinking things in regards to your career or public life. Slow down. Focus on home life. Don’t be distracted by “extraneous” lovers or suitors.
LIBRA - A move of some kind is not unlikely between now and end of July. Travel for a party, or communication with someone who lives far away also looks likely. Your thought processes might provide a major breakthrough in something over the next week or so.
SCORPIO - You might feel pissy and pessimistic - yes, over and above your usual nature. Just let the negative thoughts do their thing. They are just thoughts. They aren’t reality. Your money situation could be very up and down over the next couple of weeks. Again, this is temporary. Your mantra: shit is going to be fine. Shit IS fine. I am fine. I am FINE. (repeat)
SAGITTARIUS - Deep thoughts. Feeling like you are a passenger of fate, a canoe on a river with no oars…Knowing you have a deeper purpose but unsure what it is. Boredom with your routine. Here’s a thought: go make some of that money you love. It ain’t gonna show up inside a gourmet tamale…Love you *wink*.
CAPRICORN - You are a powerful bitch. But even a great anti-hero badass feels down sometimes. As long as you don’t hang out with any Scorpios for awhile, you’ll come out of the funk. Love life is good. Work life is inspired. You are far more amazing than you realize.
AQUARIUS - The unconscious mind can be a real asshole. But you’re being given an opportunity to explore where you’ve given away or hidden your personal power. Your tight circle of people will support you whenever you need it. Do the deep work. Explore the old pain. This is temporary. You’re still rad.
PISCES - It’s all about who you know, and you know some good people. Your public life could be significantly boosted by the Universe. It might feel like some tug of war at times. Lean in to your most deeply held beliefs to center yourself. Stay in touch with your family.
TRANSITS THIS WEEK
Sunday 04 June
ARIES - Work might get a little weird. What happened in January thru March at work? Things might exist in extremes in your head. You might feel either very on track and aligned in life, or the opposite. Don’t overthink. Your romantic life is looking great. Enjoy that shit.
TAURUS - Scratch your adventure itch. Express yourself. WTF is going on with your most intimate relationship? It looks complicated. Work your connections (or short distance travel) to make more money. Decorate your room / a room.
GEMINI - Joint resources could get back on track. Clarity will come soon. Your current partnerships, romantic and otherwise, are significant and made up of fate and destiny. Talk to your neighbors more. Take an acting class.
CANCER - Focus on your partnerships, you’ll have no choice. You’ll be very busy and then you should retreat. The daily things you do really matter…pay attention to them. Financially, things look good. You might want to buy something that feels like a luxury. Do it, you penny pincher!
LEO - Your routine could get screwed up, either at work or in some other day-to-day way. Lean on your network. Romance matters…lean into it. If you want to change your look, this is a good time to do it (the next few weeks). Go get that sassy haircut and buy a new dress, bitch!
VIRGO - Things regarding children might get weird. (It is temporary and will get better.) You might be overthinking things in regards to your career or public life. Slow down. Focus on home life. Don’t be distracted by “extraneous” lovers or suitors.
LIBRA - A move of some kind is not unlikely between now and end of July. Travel for a party, or communication with someone who lives far away also looks likely. Your thought processes might provide a major breakthrough in something over the next week or so.
SCORPIO - You might feel pissy and pessimistic - yes, over and above your usual nature. Just let the negative thoughts do their thing. They are just thoughts. They aren’t reality. Your money situation could be very up and down over the next couple of weeks. Again, this is temporary. Your mantra: shit is going to be fine. Shit IS fine. I am fine. I am FINE. (repeat)
SAGITTARIUS - Deep thoughts. Feeling like you are a passenger of fate, a canoe on a river with no oars…Knowing you have a deeper purpose but unsure what it is. Boredom with your routine. Here’s a thought: go make some of that money you love. It ain’t gonna show up inside a gourmet tamale…Love you *wink*.
CAPRICORN - You are a powerful bitch. But even a great anti-hero badass feels down sometimes. As long as you don’t hang out with any Scorpios for awhile, you’ll come out of the funk. Love life is good. Work life is inspired. You are far more amazing than you realize.
AQUARIUS - The unconscious mind can be a real asshole. But you’re being given an opportunity to explore where you’ve given away or hidden your personal power. Your tight circle of people will support you whenever you need it. Do the deep work. Explore the old pain. This is temporary. You’re still rad.
PISCES - It’s all about who you know, and you know some good people. Your public life could be significantly boosted by the Universe. It might feel like some tug of war at times. Lean in to your most deeply held beliefs to center yourself. Stay in touch with your family.
TRANSITS THIS WEEK
Sunday 04 June
Sun opposite Great Attractor - gravity, pushing, receding. Everything everywhere all at once.
Monday 05 June
Venus opposite Pluto - jealousy etc
Venus enters Leo - proud bold affectionate
Sun sextile Pallas - clarity/expression of vision and purpose
Tuesday 06 June
Mercury conjunct Vesta - attuned to spiritual mission
Wednesday 07 June
Sun sextile Lilith - you are a beacon of independence
Thursday 08 June
Venus square Lunar Nodes - avoidance of things that make you uncomfortable (good and bad)
Friday 09 June
Mercury sextile Neptune - creative/sensitive
Mercury quincunx Galactic Center - higher truth/confusion about future/purpose
Mercury trine Ceres - express compassion and love thru words
Saturday 10 June
Sun sextile Chiron - acceptance of vulnerabilities becomes a strength
Sunday 11 June
Mercury trine Pluto - asking for favors and talking people into things
Venus square Jupiter - good for recreation and fun, not great for productivity and work
Pluto Retrograde enters Cap - UGH. This means Pluto is at 29° Cap, and we will be revisiting a lot of the drama and upheaval from when he was there before…in jan - March of this year.
Mercury enters Gemini - intellectual energy on lock!
Mars opposite Chariklo - instincts in conflict with wounds/healing
Monday 05 June
Venus opposite Pluto - jealousy etc
Venus enters Leo - proud bold affectionate
Sun sextile Pallas - clarity/expression of vision and purpose
Tuesday 06 June
Mercury conjunct Vesta - attuned to spiritual mission
Wednesday 07 June
Sun sextile Lilith - you are a beacon of independence
Thursday 08 June
Venus square Lunar Nodes - avoidance of things that make you uncomfortable (good and bad)
Friday 09 June
Mercury sextile Neptune - creative/sensitive
Mercury quincunx Galactic Center - higher truth/confusion about future/purpose
Mercury trine Ceres - express compassion and love thru words
Saturday 10 June
Sun sextile Chiron - acceptance of vulnerabilities becomes a strength
Sunday 11 June
Mercury trine Pluto - asking for favors and talking people into things
Venus square Jupiter - good for recreation and fun, not great for productivity and work
Pluto Retrograde enters Cap - UGH. This means Pluto is at 29° Cap, and we will be revisiting a lot of the drama and upheaval from when he was there before…in jan - March of this year.
Mercury enters Gemini - intellectual energy on lock!
Mars opposite Chariklo - instincts in conflict with wounds/healing
PLANETS THIS WEEK
SUN - Gemini
MERCURY --> Gemini
VENUS --> Leo
MARS - Leo
JUPITER - Taurus
SATURN - Pisces
URANUS - Taurus
NEPTUNE - Pisces
PLUTO --> Capricorn (Rx)
CHIRON - Aries
CHARIKLO - Aquarius
CHAOS - Gemini
N. NODE - Taurus
CERES - Virgo
PALLAS - Leo
JUNO - Gemini
VESTA - Taurus
LILITH - Leo
ERIS - Aries
SIRIUS- Cancer (fixed)