Well hey, hi. Hello. As I write this, Mercury went retrograde yesterday. Today, everything I touched turned into a more complicated project. Mercury retrograde is transiting my 4th house. So I tried to hang a mirror. Nail was not long enough and I needed an anchor. So I went to dig around in the toolbox, and then I had an idea which distracted me for an hour. Then I hung the mirror…crooked. I had to walk away. I forgot to take ibuprofen this morning so when I say “walk away”, I mean limp… I had to limp away. I literally distracted myself with new and more distracting mini projects all damn day. All day. I have been *obsessing* about my fall tablescape. Should I go tall, or should I go long? How much height? What colors? Candles or pumpkins or garland or all of the above? I spent at least a hour looking at mercury glass pumpkins (mercury glass, specifically!) online. I am in a rabbit hole of fall decorating!
When I finally sat down to write BitchScopes I was like well OK, I sense a theme! Spoiler alert: fuckery ahead! But it is fuckery with a purpose! (And this is by far not the worst fuckery we’ve seen. Not even close)
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday are ripe for relationship irritation. Adjustments must be made. Then the rest of the week you gotta calm your tits because the time is not quite right to start that discussion/fight/project. You have more healing to do. You have get your ego balanced. You can’t make good decisions like the ones you’re wanting to make with Mercury retrograde. You gotta confront what hurts. If you can spend just a little time journaling or meditating on “what is hurting me?”, it will go a long way. Awareness is like 90% of the healing game!
Sunday the energy shifts a bit, in a good way. Something clicks. Whether you feel it or not, something will click into place and things will start to flow better (as much as that can happen under Mercury retrograde. It is possible, though!).
Next week the Sun enters Libra and we have a New Moon. So if you do some of the mental footwork now, when that moon rolls around, you can manifest the shit out of it! What hurts? What is out of balance? Where do I need to speak up more? Where do I need to shut my trap?
Meditate or brainstorm on those questions and then watch the magic happen!
So the fuckery at the beginning of the week does give way to some bajiggity feels and then some empowered healing. The desire to push forward and launch is met with delays and frustration, so you may as well chill the eff out for now. Do the inner work. Do the detail work. There is a method to the madness and if you can just listen to what each day is asking you, you will be in the flow by Sunday.
ARIES - You could feel frustrated by the amount of talk and planning and boring shit you have to do when you’d rather just do the thing! But you may be over or underestimating something and be too enthusiastic for your own good. Take this time to review the details. There’s a real good chance this boring shit will land with your marriage partner or business partner, as Mercury is in your 7th house. That Mars-Venus square affects your workplace. Venus’ and Mars’ individual placements make for great idea generating, but that square creates conflict and confrontation. Keep a level head!
TAURUS - You really want and need a vacation, but you gotta work, bitch. And that may be ok, because you do love money. Your ability to make money is heightened right now with Mars in your 2nd house, but it's squaring off against Venus, who has a strong desire for fun and pleasure. However, you could easily over do it and fixate on things at work. Balance balance balance! Take time to be alone and meditate, however you do that. Rewarding yourself (which you are great at) is a good idea, as long as you don’t go overboard.
GEMINI - Watch yourself this week and make sure you’re not being a pushy asshole. Mars is in your 1st house of identity for a good long time. This is great for boosting your overall vitality. But this week Mars is squaring off with Venus, who is transiting your 4th house. So make sure you are making time for family as well as your individual stuff. Mercury retrograde in your 5th house is also giving you lots of creative energy. But try not to overdo it and bite off more than you can chew. Ask for help when you need it!
CANCER - This could be a very introspective week for you. You’ll desire some solitude, but there are deep conversations that need to be had. It could be that you need to confront the issue that is making you feel like hiding or running away (or burying yourself in work as a distraction). Your work and home life balance is another issue that is up for review as Mercury retrogrades your 4th house and Jupiter is in your 10th. At work you might be feeling productive and creative, but having a hard time launching projects. So guess what that means…don’t try to launch the projects. Go with the flow and don’t force things.
LEO - Your energy level should be good this week. However, everyone will be wanting a piece of you…it's hard being amazing. Venus squaring Mars brings tension to how you spend your money and where you place the most value on time spent. Your social activities may be hurting the bottom line and there may be necessary conversations with those closest to you about any and all of this. The important thing is that you utilize that energy for what is truly important to you, and one of those things should be you!
VIRGO - Mental energy is high this week, and you could easily utilize it to make money. There’s a pull for you to focus more on yourself, while your job makes demands of you that you aren’t really feelin’, even if there is money in it. Life has other plans though, and avoiding it isn’t really going to work. You have activity in both your earned money house and your house of debt, so you’d be smat to take some time to review the balance in your bank account, as well as the balance between your earning vs spending.
LIBRA - I suppose it's only appropriate that for your sign of balance and harmony, that’s exactly what’s on the menu for you this week. You will crave solitude, but also miss adventure and experiences. Then at home, you will be trying to balance your “me time” with “we time”, and it just feels like a lot is being asked of you. Self care is the number one thing you should prioritize this week. And if you can’t quench the thirst for knowledge, dive into a good documentary or history book.
SCORPIO - Listen up all my Scorps. Mars in Gemini will be in your 8th house for a long time. I try not to focus on this particular characteristic of this placement but I have to tell you because of the extended time Mars will be there. Be Careful! Accidents are more likely with this placement. Slow down and pay attention to what you are doing at all times, particularly with sharp shit. The good news is that this placement will also stimulate you already strong sex drive. But your drive to get it on will be messed with by either your friend group, or your desire to hang out with friends. Another caution: the friends with benefits thing rarely works out for very long. Just sayin’. Your physical energy should be high with Jupiter in your 6th house, and your intuition strong AF with Mercury in your 12th. But you may overdo it, so just…Idanno…maybe take a cold shower and think before you do anything this week.
SAGITTARIUS - I know how much you hate being bored. Good news! This week you won’t be! Between trying to balance your home life and your work life, your sex life and your social life, you’ve got a lot to juggle. Disagreements are very possible if you aren’t careful, and if I’m being honest (because you are the queen of honest), you’re not usually that careful. Foot in mouth, especially among your friends, is a clear and present danger. Your partner may have something to say about how much time you spend that is not with them. If you value the relationship, listen to their feelings and be slow to speak. Get some sleep…you’re gonna need it.
CAPRICORN - You are one of several signs that has to juggle the work-life balance this week. Luckily you’ll have plenty of energy for it. Your soul wants to go conquer the world. But your boss and your spouse would like you to sit the fuck down. You may feel a little more managed at work than you would like, but it’s mostly a glitch and a mood. Your home life, if it's reasonably healthy, may actually give you the recharge you need after work. Review your work projects more than usual. Let off some steam at home in a fun way (wink wink).
AQUARIUS - This is a good week for you to examine some of your beliefs and opinions. You might be surprised to find that some of them have shifted a little. A little journaling and list making will do the trick. You are one of the only signs who may see immediate benefit from the square between Mars and Venus. They are in your 5th and 8th houses respectively. On paper this is a confrontation between romance and lusty intimacy, but I’m more than certain you can find a way to soothe this conflict. If you’re single, you can still experience a surge of creative expression and a boost to your credit score.
PISCES - All of the action in your chart this week is about relationships and resources, and…your relationship with your resources. Venus in your 7th house bodes well for your relationship(s) and gives you the willingness to tend to them more. Mars is in your 4th house, and will be for months, giving you a desire for comfort at home. Mercury and Jupiter are in your financial houses. Mercury will give you ideas on how to reduce debt, and Jupiter offers an expansion of your earned income. You win this week!
PLANETS THIS WEEK
SUN - Virgo
MERCURY - Libra (Rx)
VENUS - Virgo
MARS - Gemini
JUPITER - Aries (Rx)
SATURN - Aquarius (Rx)
URANUS - Taurus (Rx)
NEPTUNE - Pisces (Rx)
PLUTO - Capricorn (Rx)
CHIRON - Aries (Rx)
CHARIKLO - Aquarius (Rx)
CHAOS - Cancer
N. NODE - Taurus
CERES - Leo
PALLAS - Cancer
JUNO - Pisces
VESTA - Aquarius (Rx)
LILITH - Cancer
ERIS - Aries (Rx)
SIRIUS- Cancer (fixed)
TRANSITS THIS WEEK
Mon 12 Sept
Sun quincunx Saturn
Tues 13 Sept
Vesta sextile Eris
Wed 14 Sept
Mars square Juno
Thurs 15 Sept
Pallas quincunx Chariklo
Venus opposite Juno
Neptune quincunx Ceres
Fri 16 Sept
Venus square Mars
Sun opposed Neptune
Venus trine N Node
Ceres opposite Vesta
Jupiter square Pallas
Sun quincunx Vesta
Sat 17 Sept
Venus quincunx Chiron
Ceres trine Eris
Sun quincunx Eris
Mercury square Pallas
Mars sextile Chiron
Sun 18 Sept
Sun trine Pluto
Mercury trine Chariklo
Mercury opposite Jupiter
Mon 19 Sept
Venus trine Uranus
Venus sextile