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Email me: kelly@thebitchwhisperer.me
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Hey Bitches,
I have been on a journey this weekend writing these BitchScopes. I really don't know what came over me. I have been feeling a little meh about all my projects. But when I sat down to write BitchScopes, it's like I became possessed. It's 9pm on Sunday and I just finished them. Because I went down some delicious rabbitholes, and guys, BitchScopes are reborn! It's funny, because my birthday is this coming weekend, and the Pluto Cazimi is on my bday too. That has to be what's happening! Anyway, I hope you love them. Bitchscopes are going to go much deeper as we move ahead. You're gonna learn things you didn't know, like I have. But I did it like a friggi Gemini rising, or like Keanu Reeves in The Matrix...I know Jujitsu. That's how I feel right now...because...
When I sat down to write today, I went ham on Google instead and looked up about a zillion goddess asteroids, made a spreadsheet, sorted it 2 different ways (I’m totally serious), and then stared at it for about an hour. Bitchscopes have always been about finding your authentic self and voice, standing proudly in your personal power, having good boundaries, healing the wounded feminine, female empowerment, and standing up to the Patriarchy who has tried to make us shrink. Not to mention embracing the darker side of ourselves and deeming it every bit as worthy as the sweet and nice and pure and virginal and nurturing and motherly parts of ourselves. I have learned through astrology to allow my wounds to heal me. My shadow is a part of me and within it is this treasure trove of strength and power and badassness. Embracing the Bitch is what this is all about. There’s plenty of sassy astrology out there that will tell you “you’re an aries so you’re a hard headed bitch”. But I am telling you how being a hard headed bitch can work for you, but you also have to get out of your own way and heal the wounds that make you too hard headed at times… you silly bitch.
Shadow behaviors are things like martyr complex, judgmentalness, jealousy, anger, impulsive, irrational, disconnected, unsympathetic, biased, arrogant, triggered…I think we are familiar with this stuff. Embracing your Bitch is about learning to relax and allowing yourself to see and accept when you’re being a dumb asshole, and then letting it teach you something. Instead of being jealous, work on your self esteem, and the type of relationships you attract. Instead of just being angry in a vacuum, (because women are conditioned to be nice) express your anger and allow it to move and motivate you. Mars rules anger, and Mars also rules movement. So take your anger and do something about whatever it is. Either remove yourself, enforce your boundaries, fire that person from your life, etc. When you hear yourself being judgey, take a moment to think about the stupid shit you’ve done with your life. Unless that person’s shit is directly affecting you, don’t worry about it. Think about the ways you have been victimized in your life. Is there a pattern? What is it and can you figure out where it started? Some of this shadow work takes a long time, and some of it can happen in the moment. When you stop giving a shit what other people say about you, think of you, or preach at you, you are less resistant to recognizing your own shadow.
As the years have ticked by, I have felt a stronger and stronger pull to the goddesses. And over the last couple years, the “dark” goddesses have really called to me. I always put “dark” in quotes because a) most of the goddesses labeled as dark and scary were just doing things to protect themselves or others, or they were perceived as powerful, or they were just sick of people’s shit and b) I don’t think anything is just dark. Everything has a light and a dark side. Take Medusa for example…we grew up being taught that she was an ugly monster who turned men to stone. Wow, what a bitch. What’s her problem? And then Perseus cut off her head! yay! Bye bad lady!
Medusa was a priestess of Athena and vowed celibacy and to protect the honor of Athena and her temple. Medusa’s attitude problem comes from the fact that she was raped by Poisidon in the temple of Athena. Athena, who also clearly has a dark side, was pissed that Medusa betrayed her (um, victim blame much?!!) and defiled the temple so she turned her into an ugly, horrible monster, and gave her madness and a power that any man that looked at her would be simultaneously horrified and turned to stone. (There’s some speculation that maybe Athena gave Medusa the power to protect herself, but…that’s a lot babe.) After Perseus cut off her head, he gave it back to Athena, who made it part of her shield and used it’s killing powers in battle. So in the end she still defended Athena. Even though victims serve as sacrificial beacons that call our attention to real monsters, We STILL victim blame women and victims of assault and abuse constantly, in almost every society on Earth.
So I stared at my spreadsheet and I spent some time deciding who I wanted in my Pantheon of Bitches…Bitchtheon if you will. I think the best way to deepen the astrology I give to you, is to introduce them a few at a time, based on what is intuitively grabbing me. I made another spreadsheet (seriously, what the fuck is going on?!) with a list of all the major planets and which goddesses I would substitute for them. And It works!
As I write this, the Sun is at 23° Capricorn. Freya is currently at around 20° Capricorn. She was at 17° during last week’s New Moon in Cap, which is within orb for a conjunction. Freya is the Norse goddess of love, fertility and battle and is also associated with the Sun. She rides a chariot pulled by cats, so that’s fucking cool…how do I get that going over here? Freya was said to be the most beautiful of the goddesses, but more than just a pretty face, she was also a the Queen of the Valkyrie. The Valkyrie were a group of maidens that Odin sent into battle to decide which of the slain were worthy to enter Valhalla.
We are getting ready to enter Aquarius, and Circe is around 7° of that sign. Circe is a witchy energy with the power of transformation, which is SO appropriate with Pluto entering Aquarius this week!
I think the goddess asteroids, with help from Venus and Eris (a major and minor planet) and the Moon, can be a more subtle energy to tap into, but they also feel so much more personal and have a lot more depth and detail.
Going forward, rather than a day by day run down I’m going to give you the overall energy for each week based on the goddesses, both “light” and “dark”. Both light and dark and equally badass, they just bring slightly different energies to the table. We don’t have to be nice all the time, guys.
This week is heavily colored by Pluto entering Aquarius and Pluto conjunct the Sun. Pluto Cazimi is a once in a lifetime thing. The patriarchy is already infected from the inside out and is shitting its pants and acting a fool. Pluto in Aquarius, especially this year when its in the early degrees and then retrograde, politics are going to get much uglier as they all freak out and make desperate grabs for keeping their power. All we want is balance and equality. Most feminists don't hate men, or male leadership. We just hate shitty male leadership, and that’s most of what we have right now. That’s all we’ve had for 200 years or more. Especially in the US. We used to lead the world, and now we are way behind. We are too busy dying from the inside out. Anyway, off my soapbox…
The fact that Pluto and the Sun are entering Aquarius means that the energy of Aquarius is really big and will remain that way. It sort of overshadows everything. The goddesses I have designated as Uranian (because Uranus rules Aquarius) are Eris the disrupter, Oya (a goddess we’ll talk about later), and Pandora, whose curiosity unleashed all sorts of things. Chaos and Uranus are definitely kissing cousins, and if you know an Aquarius, you understand this. Chaos is part of the creative process with an Aquarius. They have a vision that they can see very clearly through the mess. If you have an Aquarius on your team, sometimes you have to trust that vision.
The transits and aspects of the goddesses indicate we will be questioning established thought and conventional wisdom this week. We will feel (more) rebellious and sometimes bored, and for some of us that will trickle into relationships. There’s an undercurrent of desiring change, but also being afraid of it. Change brings out insecurities. But if we can trust our own intuition, which is very strong right now, we can experience a big boost of confidence. Trust your gut, even if all the conventional wisdom and tradition and everyone around you says something else. Always trust your gut. Lilith sextiles a solar goddess this week, so if you do the work of radical self acceptance, you can experience radical personal power and self love. And when you love yourself, you literally create waves of change in the world. People are empowered by confident self love. Can you imagine what social media would be like if the majority of (hell, even just “more”) people deeply loved and accepted themselves?! Mercury exits the shadow this week too (on Saturday)
I’m kind of excited about this new BitchScopes, and I hope you are too.