How do any women make it into history?!
As we wrap up another year of Bitch-ing, I want to express my gratitude to our listeners and supporters.
It is honestly still a little surprising to me that the word "bitch" continues to trigger people. I get asked regularly why we use such an offensive word in the title. I would like to note that none of those people were particularly supportive when we changed it to "Re-feminist History" for half of 2024. So you just can't please everyone. And if you're a woman, you can't please most. If you're a bitch, no one likes you so it hardly matters and you should just do what makes your rabid heart sing.
Not everyone understands what we are doing, and that's ok. I still feel we are offering quality, educational information every episode. Calling it Bitchstory is making a point about strong women in history being villainized.
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| Tudor Resting Bitch Face - Margaret Beaufort, ep 35 |
Our quote that we use every week is "well behaved women never make history" (which has been misattributed to Eleanor Roosevelt) said by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. An excerpt from one of her writings is “If well-behaved women seldom make history, it is not only because gender norms have constrained the range of female activity but because history hasn't been very good at capturing the lives of those whose contributions have been local and domestic. For centuries, women have sustained local communities, raising food, caring for the sick, and picking up the pieces after wars.” ― Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History.
Women have always been doing amazing things, and not always in the domestic realm, as we frequently cover in the show. But as Ulrich says above, history hasn't been very good at capturing their achievements. And I think that's largely because history is mostly recorded by men. But not only do well behaved women seldom make history, misbehaving women often don't make it in either!
All of this sort of made me wonder, why did Betsy Ross make history? She was pretty much a good girl, by all accounts. She wasn't controversial. She stayed in her assigned lane for her gender. She was supposedly modest and had a positive personality. She wasn't trying to be a solider as a woman, or wear pants, or do anything that would cause tongues to wag. Part of me thinks that is exactly why she made history...she didn't threaten any males in the process. You can be a good girl, or a bad girl, but if you threaten some man with power, chances are you will be made invisible (at best).
Furthermore, historians also dispute whether she actually made the first flag or not. There is nothing to prove she did except the constantly repeated legend. (https://research.colonialwilliamsburg.org/Foundation/journal/Summer08/betsy.cfm)
So why does she get credit? Maybe Betsy just knew the right people who found her acceptable enough to include in the story. From Wikipedia: Betsy Ross "was credited by her relatives in 1870 with making the second official U.S. flag, accordingly known as the Betsy Ross flag. Though most historians dismiss the story, Ross family tradition holds that General George Washington, commander-in-chief of the Continental Army and two members of a congressional committee—Robert Morris and George Ross—visited Mrs. Ross in 1776. Mrs. Ross convinced George Washington to change the shape of the stars in a sketch of a flag he showed her from six-pointed to five-pointed by demonstrating that it was easier and speedier to cut the latter. However, there is no archival evidence or other recorded verbal tradition to substantiate this story of the first U.S. flag. It appears that the story first surfaced in the writings of her grandson in the 1870s (a century after the fact), with no mention or documentation in earlier decades.
Here's the kinds of conversations I imagine:
"Hear me, James..., no one is going to believe that Billy Fisher sewed that flag. Billy Fisher can scarcely tie his britches. Why not just use the young lady's name, as it hurts no one in doing so?"
"Good point Steven. About Betsy and about Billy Fisher" (the men all chuckle)
"Not to mention..." says Benny "her husband said she makes the most delicious meat tarts and I would like her to teach my Martha, whose greatest culinary talent thus far seems to be eggs 2 ways, both bad..." (the men all chuckle again)
"And, her Uncle could put a good word in for us with General Washington"
"Aye!" say all the men.
Also, Betsy Ross was said to have been born with a full set of teeth. You can bet yer falling down britches that that was the town buzz around her for years! Maybe she already had a name for herself for her remarkable dentition. Who fucking knows why she was made worthy and other women were not!
But I do know that it puzzles me a little that a) women are so generally disinterested in women's history and b) we are so afraid of the word "bitch" that we don't listen when it is included in the discussion. And that IS the whole point of "Bitchstory". It is the stories of bitches who didn't necessarily stay in their lane, or do what they were told, or sit down when they were instructed, or marry/love who they were expected to, or embrace the limited choice of roles they were given. They bucked the system. They questioned authority. They had the audacity to challenge norms. In modern Western society, those kinds of women are often called "difficult" or "unmanageable" or "unfriendly" or "too masculine". Or people say "I don't know but I just don't like her" (source: US Presidential elections). Or they just say "she's such a bitch". And those are the stories that are the most interesting to me. If I say "you are a bad bitch!", you might reach for your pearls, but you should know that it means I think you are an exceptional woman.
So if you are not yet a listener, I think you're missing out. If you are and have been a listener, we appreciate your support and we look forward to another year of upsetting the status quo with inspirational badassery and truth that sometimes supplants etiquette.
Happy Holidays, all you bitches, from the bottom of my feral heart.
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