You Might As Well Be the “Fucking Bitch”

 

He killed her.

And after he did, he called her a “fucking bitch.”

Not during a struggle.

Not in fear.

After.

That word didn’t slip out accidentally. It arrived fully formed. Comfortable. Familiar. Practiced.

Every woman I know recognized the tone instantly.

Not as politics.

As memory.

Because we’ve heard it before.

In kitchens.

In cars.

In breakups that turned into threats.

In workplaces.

In bedrooms.

In courtrooms.

It’s the voice men use when they decide your humanity is optional.

And here’s the part that keeps circling in my head:

It wouldn’t have mattered what she did.

It wouldn’t have mattered if she was polite.

Or calm.

Or compliant.

Or quiet.

Or grateful.

Or perfect.

Because the word doesn’t describe behavior.

It describes disobedience.

Every woman learns this early:

You can be kind and still be called a bitch.

You can be careful and still be called a bitch.

You can be small and still be called a bitch.

You can be bleeding and still be called a bitch.

The label isn’t about what you do.

It’s about the moment a man realizes he does not own you.

That’s when “woman” becomes “bitch.”

That’s when human becomes object.

That’s when fear becomes justification.

So here’s the ugly truth no one puts on inspirational posters:

There is no level of goodness that will save you.

There is no amount of compliance that guarantees safety.

No performance of sweetness that cancels contempt.

No version of yourself that can outrun someone else’s entitlement.

They don’t call you a bitch because you were cruel.

They call you a bitch because you were not available for control.

So maybe the real lie is that we’re supposed to spend our lives trying to avoid the name.

Softening ourselves.

Shrinking our voices.

Editing our anger.

Swallowing our no.

All to avoid a word they were going to use anyway.

What if the choice isn’t:

be good or be a bitch

but:

be erased or be difficult.

If the punishment is the same, we might as well choose our own side.

Not violent.

Not cruel.

Not heartless.

But solid.

Unapologetic.

Unowned.

If “bitch” is what they call a woman who will not collapse on command…

Then fine.

Let it mean:

a woman with boundaries

a woman with a voice

a woman who does not beg to be spared

a woman who knows compliance has never been protection

a woman who understands that respect was never the bargain

We didn’t invent this word.

They did.

We’re just done letting it decide how small we’re allowed to live

BE GOOD