Calm your tits - BitchScopes for September 12-19

Well hey, hi. Hello. As I write this, Mercury went retrograde yesterday. Today, everything I touched turned into a more complicated project. Mercury retrograde is transiting my 4th house. So I tried to hang a mirror. Nail was not long enough and I needed an anchor. So I went to dig around in the toolbox, and then I had an idea which distracted me for an hour. Then I hung the mirror…crooked. I had to walk away. I forgot to take ibuprofen this morning so when I say “walk away”, I mean limp… I had to limp away. I literally distracted myself with new and more distracting mini projects all damn day. All day. I have been *obsessing* about my fall tablescape. Should I go tall, or should I go long? How much height? What colors? Candles or pumpkins or garland or all of the above? I spent at least a hour looking at mercury glass pumpkins (mercury glass, specifically!) online. I am in a rabbit hole of fall decorating!

When I finally sat down to write BitchScopes I was like well OK, I sense a theme! Spoiler alert: fuckery ahead! But it is fuckery with a purpose! (And this is by far not the worst fuckery we’ve seen. Not even close)

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday are ripe for relationship irritation. Adjustments must be made. Then the rest of the week you gotta calm your tits because the time is not quite right to start that discussion/fight/project. You have more healing to do. You have get your ego balanced. You can’t make good decisions like the ones you’re wanting to make with Mercury retrograde. You gotta confront what hurts. If you can spend just a little time journaling or meditating on “what is hurting me?”, it will go a long way. Awareness is like 90% of the healing game!

Sunday the energy shifts a bit, in a good way. Something clicks. Whether you feel it or not, something will click into place and things will start to flow better (as much as that can happen under Mercury retrograde. It is possible, though!).

Next week the Sun enters Libra and we have a New Moon. So if you do some of the mental footwork now, when that moon rolls around, you can manifest the shit out of it! What hurts? What is out of balance? Where do I need to speak up more? Where do I need to shut my trap?

Meditate or brainstorm on those questions and then watch the magic happen!

So the fuckery at the beginning of the week does give way to some bajiggity feels and then some empowered healing. The desire to push forward and launch is met with delays and frustration, so you may as well chill the eff out for now. Do the inner work. Do the detail work. There is a method to the madness and if you can just listen to what each day is asking you, you will be in the flow by Sunday.

 

ARIES - You could feel frustrated by the amount of talk and planning and boring shit you have to do when you’d rather just do the thing! But you may be over or underestimating something and be too enthusiastic for your own good. Take this time to review the details. There’s a real good chance this boring shit will land with your marriage partner or business partner, as Mercury is in your 7th house. That Mars-Venus square affects your workplace. Venus’ and Mars’ individual placements make for great idea generating, but that square creates conflict and confrontation. Keep a level head!


TAURUS - You really want and need a vacation, but you gotta work, bitch. And that may be ok, because you do love money. Your ability to make money is heightened right now with Mars in your 2nd house, but it's squaring off against Venus, who has a strong desire for fun and pleasure. However, you could easily over do it and fixate on things at work. Balance balance balance! Take time to be alone and meditate, however you do that. Rewarding yourself (which you are great at) is a good idea, as long as you don’t go overboard.


GEMINI - Watch yourself this week and make sure you’re not being a pushy asshole. Mars is in your 1st house of identity for a good long time. This is great for boosting your overall vitality. But this week Mars is squaring off with Venus, who is transiting your 4th house. So make sure you are making time for family as well as your individual stuff. Mercury retrograde in your 5th house is also giving you lots of creative energy. But try not to overdo it and bite off more than you can chew. Ask for help when you need it!


CANCER - This could be a very introspective week for you. You’ll desire some solitude, but there are deep conversations that need to be had. It could be that you need to confront the issue that is making you feel like hiding or running away (or burying yourself in work as a distraction). Your work and home life balance is another issue that is up for review as Mercury retrogrades your 4th house and Jupiter is in your 10th. At work you might be feeling productive and creative, but having a hard time launching projects. So guess what that means…don’t try to launch the projects. Go with the flow and don’t force things.


LEO - Your energy level should be good this week. However, everyone will be wanting a piece of you…it's hard being amazing. Venus squaring Mars brings tension to how you spend your money and where you place the most value on time spent. Your social activities may be hurting the bottom line and there may be necessary conversations with those closest to you about any and all of this. The important thing is that you utilize that energy for what is truly important to you, and one of those things should be you!


VIRGO - Mental energy is high this week, and you could easily utilize it to make money. There’s a pull for you to focus more on yourself, while your job makes demands of you that you aren’t really feelin’, even if there is money in it. Life has other plans though, and avoiding it isn’t really going to work. You have activity in both your earned money house and your house of debt, so you’d be smat to take some time to review the balance in your bank account, as well as the balance between your earning vs spending.


LIBRA - I suppose it's only appropriate that for your sign of balance and harmony, that’s exactly what’s on the menu for you this week. You will crave solitude, but also miss adventure and experiences. Then at home, you will be trying to balance your “me time” with “we time”, and it just feels like a lot is being asked of you. Self care is the number one thing you should prioritize this week. And if you can’t quench the thirst for knowledge, dive into a good documentary or history book.


SCORPIO - Listen up all my Scorps. Mars in Gemini will be in your 8th house for a long time. I try not to focus on this particular characteristic of this placement but I have to tell you because of the extended time Mars will be there. Be Careful! Accidents are more likely with this placement. Slow down and pay attention to what you are doing at all times, particularly with sharp shit. The good news is that this placement will also stimulate you already strong sex drive. But your drive to get it on will be messed with by either your friend group, or your desire to hang out with friends. Another caution: the friends with benefits thing rarely works out for very long. Just sayin’. Your physical energy should be high with Jupiter in your 6th house, and your intuition strong AF with Mercury in your 12th. But you may overdo it, so just…Idanno…maybe take a cold shower and think before you do anything this week.


SAGITTARIUS - I know how much you hate being bored. Good news! This week you won’t be! Between trying to balance your home life and your work life, your sex life and your social life, you’ve got a lot to juggle. Disagreements are very possible if you aren’t careful, and if I’m being honest (because you are the queen of honest), you’re not usually that careful. Foot in mouth, especially among your friends, is a clear and present danger. Your partner may have something to say about how much time you spend that is not with them. If you value the relationship, listen to their feelings and be slow to speak. Get some sleep…you’re gonna need it.


CAPRICORN - You are one of several signs that has to juggle the work-life balance this week. Luckily you’ll have plenty of energy for it. Your soul wants to go conquer the world. But your boss and your spouse would like you to sit the fuck down. You may feel a little more managed at work than you would like, but it’s mostly a glitch and a mood. Your home life, if it's reasonably healthy, may actually give you the recharge you need after work. Review your work projects more than usual. Let off some steam at home in a fun way (wink wink).

AQUARIUS - This is a good week for you to examine some of your beliefs and opinions. You might be surprised to find that some of them have shifted a little. A little journaling and list making will do the trick. You are one of the only signs who may see immediate benefit from the square between Mars and Venus. They are in your 5th and 8th houses respectively. On paper this is a confrontation between romance and lusty intimacy, but I’m more than certain you can find a way to soothe this conflict. If you’re single, you can still experience a surge of creative expression and a boost to your credit score.


PISCES - All of the action in your chart this week is about relationships and resources, and…your relationship with your resources. Venus in your 7th house bodes well for your relationship(s) and gives you the willingness to tend to them more. Mars is in your 4th house, and will be for months, giving you a desire for comfort at home. Mercury and Jupiter are in your financial houses. Mercury will give you ideas on how to reduce debt, and Jupiter offers an expansion of your earned income. You win this week!





PLANETS THIS WEEK

SUN - Virgo
MERCURY - Libra (Rx)
VENUS - Virgo
MARS - Gemini
JUPITER - Aries (Rx)
SATURN - Aquarius (Rx)
URANUS - Taurus (Rx)
NEPTUNE - Pisces (Rx)
PLUTO - Capricorn (Rx)
CHIRON - Aries (Rx)
CHARIKLO - Aquarius (Rx)
CHAOS - Cancer
N. NODE - Taurus
CERES - Leo
PALLAS - Cancer
JUNO - Pisces
VESTA - Aquarius (Rx)
LILITH - Cancer
ERIS - Aries (Rx)
SIRIUS- Cancer (fixed)


TRANSITS THIS WEEK

Mon 12 Sept
Sun quincunx Saturn 

Tues 13 Sept
Vesta sextile Eris 

Wed 14 Sept
Mars square Juno 

Thurs 15 Sept
Pallas quincunx Chariklo 
Venus opposite Juno 
Neptune quincunx Ceres 

Fri 16 Sept
Venus square Mars 
Sun opposed Neptune 
Venus trine N Node 
Ceres opposite Vesta 
Jupiter square Pallas 
Sun quincunx Vesta 

Sat 17 Sept
Venus quincunx Chiron 
Ceres trine Eris 
Sun quincunx Eris
Mercury square Pallas
Mars sextile Chiron 

Sun 18 Sept
Sun trine Pluto 
Mercury trine Chariklo 
Mercury opposite Jupiter 

Mon 19 Sept
Venus trine Uranus 
Venus sextile 

Ew, emotions! BitchScopes for the week of September 5th & the Pisces Full Moon

Well, here we are, it’s almost officially Autumn. I’m wearing a cozy cardigan and sipping a chai latte in front of a fireplace (I can’t bring myself to drink pumpkin spice since that’s how I refer to Trump).

I’m just kidding about all of that (except the Trump part). It’s like 105 where I live and my AC is busting its ass. But September is a mental cue for me, and I start to feel more hopeful and less oppressed. I am not a fan of summer. I don’t know if its just because I’m a winter baby or because summer is plagued with masses of people everywhere you go, and it's hot, and... did I mention the fucking people everywhere? Anyway, this is the beginning of fall in my mind. The temperatures will follow suit soon enough, I hope.

One of the things that woowoo people recognize about this time of year is the “thinning of the veil”, where it seems to be a little easier to connect with those who have passed. This week we have a Pisces full moon, which provides illumination of things beyond, and it is one of the first transits of the season that remind us that we are not disconnected from those we cannot see and touch.

This week is pretty assuredly going to be emotional. This full moon in Pisces would be enough for one week, but adding Mercury retrograde makes this energy potentially bajiggity and wonky.   A lot has been stirred up in the last couple weeks, thanks in part to that Virgo new moon, which made me resent the accuracy of my predictions about it.  Full moons, and this one especially, are for emotional release.  Write things down that you want to let go of, and especially the things you haven't let yourself say out loud.  Meditate and let things come up for release. Cry. My goddess, yes...just cry. 

Themes for this full moon are: go with the flow, let go, emotions, dreams, intuition, spirituality in general, esoteric concepts, and just general deep feelings and connection with others. Pisces rules the 12th house, which is a messy house. It is traditionally called the house of undoing. It is where some of our shadow behaviors can be found, our karma, the baggage we carry around from past experiences and lives, and it is where we are all connected. If you are in a relationship, this moon could be utilized to enhance intimate connection. This month and next relationships are a theme. Mercury retrograding through Libra asks if your relationship is balanced and reciprocal. 

Mercury's themes are precise communication, balance of communication, and communication in relationships, and the importance of details.  The retrograde will be influenced by Mars in Gemini adding impulsivity and rashness to the mix.  Make sure you are are saying what you mean to say. Foot in mouth syndrome is a risk!

So, in short… Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Then stop, hammer time. Ok wait…hold on. I interrupt myself for this:

I just googled the lyrics for “Can’t touch this”, and I was like, “Oh hey, that’s another good theme to point out for Pisces…the need for boundaries. Write that down…”. I made that mental note and scrolled down to find this lyric:

Stop, Hammer time!
"Go with the flow", it is said
If you can't groove to this, then you probably are dead
So, wave your hands in the air
Bust a few moves
Run your fingers through your hair

Bitchessss! This was totally unplanned and the perfect example of synchronicity! Whoa! “Go with the flow” verbatim, a reference to being dead…holy shit.

Ok anyway…here’s your full moon in Pisces/Mercury retrograde meditation/ecstatic dance inspo written as poetry, with nods to the 12th house, Virgo, Libra, Pisces, and Mars. Make sure you stretch. ;)


Check yourself

before you
wreck
Your

self

Stop!
hammer time!

No.

Go with the flow.
How do you glow?
Check in with the other side.


Check yourself
again.


Do a little dance
make a little love
get down tonight.

This week's scopes are written as a scene, or a scenario, or a "choose your own adventure"... 

ARIES -  You wake up from a dream that your partner has cheated on you with your sister. You try not to let it seep out into your day but it does anyway. On your way home, you're almost rear ended by a car that looks just like your sister's and you feel your face flush hot.  At a stop light, you text her that you want your blue sweater back and it is her turn to check on "her" mother, and distracted by your multitasking, you bump into the car in front of you.  Do you a) handle all of this yourself and say nothing, choosing to go for a run instead of talking to your partner when you get home or b) pull over and call your partner and tell them you have had a shit day and can the two of you have some netflix cry and chill time when you get home? 

TAURUS - At work, you accidentally send a strongly worded email before you edit it for tone, and it causes a small tiff. Frustrated, you hit Amazon.com and spend too much of the bonus you haven't received yet. While at lunch, a friend texts you in a group text about another friend's birthday party, and you read the conversation feeling sulky and bitter because no one did anything for your birthday this year.  Do you a) eat your feelings in the form of pasta and then fall asleep at your desk later or b) reply to the group with "Jane will love this. Can I have this next year (happy face emoji)?" and nervously await the reply, which comes as "bitch, of course! we won't all have covid for your next birthday!" 

GEMINI - A project at work that you've been working on for quite awhile is finally happening and you have all kinds of feelings about it. You're proud, nervous, bajiggity, ansty, and kind of sad.  You wonder if you have tapped the creative well dry. Then your mind starts to spin around in circles about the coming failure of your career due to creative constipation. Where will you live? Can you sell your car? Ramen is kind of tasty, right? Then you remember none of that happened and that you aren't actually defined by  every work project you do, although this one is pretty cool.  Maybe it is time to look at how you define who you are, or look for a new gig.  Leave all these questions hanging and allow the Universe to answer. In the meantime, enjoy your successful project!

CANCER - You have a growing resentment for some aspect of your life but you can't quite put your finger on it. So you keep yourself super busy at work and bury those icky feelings, again.  You avoid going home right after work because it's a little chaotic and everyone wants something and there's so much to do when you get there that you just do none of it, again.  OR...you have a simmering anger and regret about your work life and how much it takes away from your family. So you schedule a meeting with your boss to discuss it and see how you feel afterward.  You have a feeling that you need something that aligns a little more closely with your current values and that you need to move on so you can grow. You chat with your partner about it later that night and discover they are thrilled at the idea of you doing something different. 

LEO - You're feeling really sensitive about the idea of never achieving some of your important hopes and dreams. This realization makes you feel very uncomfortable and your first inclination is to do whatever you normally to to alleviate such discomforts.  But you stop yourself and instead schedule a therapy appointment.  After spilling your guts and crying about how much of a loser you feel to your counselor, they offer you a perspective that you never even considered and it completely blows your mind and shifts the energy. You suddenly have been reminded that when you grow and change (even if the changes were unwanted)  sometimes your goals should as well...

VIRGO - You have a lot on your plate right now.  Changes at work have you feeling nervous and unsure you can handle what they want you to do. And your relationship doesn't really feel like the supportive safe place it used to. Or did it ever feel that way and you just didn't notice? Well you're noticing now, and you are feeling pretty prickly about all of it. Ethics are important to you, and you're realizing that you need to make some big changes, and let go of some stuff in order to feel in alignment with what you do and who you spend your time with. 

LIBRA - Building frustration is making you want to throw your hands up and just start over.  But such an outburst would upset all the people you try so hard to please so you just continue what you're doing. Deep down you know you need some day to day changes to happen in order to feel more like yourself rather than just a machine that serves everyone else.  You're not sure where to start. Do you a) pick up some books on Buddhism, some flavor of self help that feels right to you, and sign up for a 2 day workshop on something interesting or b) revamp your entire daily routine so that you have a little more quiet time and peace at times when you need it ?

SCORPIO - You are having some crazy sex dreams lately, and you're not sure if you should take it as a sign that a) you're totally normal because this has been happening forever or b) your current relationship is not meeting your needs and you have to do something ASAP.  B is what you have been choosing since your 20's so you decide that might be it, again.   You are feeling some creative fire so you decide to do some drawing or painting after work, and as you are doing it you realize that often sex is what you perceive as the only means to intimacy for you and that maybe what your relationship is lacking is deeper connection.  You chat with your partner about this and they are totally on board, and the conversation was so good that it led to great sex, and the next day you scheduled time for the 2 of you to go on a spiritual retreat in the mountains. 

SAGITTARIUS - You catch yourself daydreaming about your ideal home and realize there are some changes you could pretty easily make to your existing home to make it feel more like what you dream of.  One of those changes is in your bedroom because the laundry and the laptops are just not sexy.  Some easy tidying and some nice lighting can make all the difference, and boy does it. Your lover and you are feeling the passion, so much lately that you've blown off your friends for 3 weekends and they're starting to get pissy.  You realize you'd better clear the air before this festers. You invite your friends over for a nice dinner, and they get to see how happy you are. 

CAPRICORN - Your career seems to be picking up speed lately, and you're excited AF because, as Lizzo says,  it's about damn time. You've got a routine in place for success. You have a workspace that is moderately inspirational. Your calendar planner is color coded to the gods.  So when things suddenly seem to slow way down, you feel panicked and anxious and a) get a 2nd or 3rd job or develop a passive income stream  b) do some journaling to explore your security needs and recalibrate your work life and your budget to feel more supportive

AQUARIUS - You are feeling sharp, philosophical, creative, and generally firing on all cylinders. But despite all that, and despite having recently come to terms with your obsessive need for control, (even though everyone thinks Aquarians are flakey seat of their pants people) you are feeling out of control and you're not sure where your current path is headed.  It isn't all about money, although more of that is always welcome. You know it is about feeling aligned. But it's hard to feel aligned when you feel lost. Do you a) double down, work harder, make more phone calls, hustle and grind like a damn capricorn...who even are you?! OR b) let go and go with the flow and anticipate feeling inspired by things you did not anticipate?

PISCES - Career things have just not gone the way you thought they would, and you're sick of being disappointed. You crave the stability of a "normal life" even though you wouldn't know what that was if it sat on you. Your family and close circle are expressing their feelings about your life, your health, your work, blah blah blah. Everyone is expressing at you. You often fall into the trap of viewing yourself through the lens of those closest to you, and they are all making you feel crappy.   But this current existential crisis is asking you, how do you view yourself, through the lens of what you value and who you want to be? That is of ultimate importance, and it may have gotten lost in the grind.  What will you do to rediscover yourself? 

PLANETS THIS WEEK

SUN - Virgo
MERCURY - Libra (Rx)
VENUS - Virgo
MARS - Gemini
JUPITER - Aries (Rx)
SATURN - Aquarius (Rx)
URANUS - Taurus (Rx)
NEPTUNE - Pisces (Rx)
PLUTO - Capricorn (Rx)
CHIRON - Aries (Rx)
CHARIKLO - Aquarius (Rx)
CHAOS - Cancer
N. NODE - Taurus
CERES - Leo
PALLAS --> Cancer
JUNO - Pisces
VESTA - Aquarius (Rx)
LILITH - Cancer
ERIS - Aries (Rx)
SIRIUS- Cancer (fixed)


TRANSITS THIS WEEK

Mon 5 Sept
Venus sextile Chaos 

Tues 6 Sept
Pallas enters Cancer 
Saturn opposite Ceres

Wed 7 Sept
Sun trine North Node
Sun opposite Juno 
N. Node sextile Lilith 
Sun quincunx Chiron 

Thurs 8 Sept
Venus quincunx Chariklo 
Sun sextile Lilith 

Fri 9 Sept
Mercury Retrograde at 9° Libra 
Venus quincunx Jupiter 

Sat 10 Sept
Pisces Full Moon 5:58am 

Sun Sept 11
Sun trine Uranus 

Mon Sept 12
Sun quincunx Saturn 

Virgo season - trust the process - BitchScopes for August 29-September 5th

Since I entered my 40s (almost a decade ago, but nevermind!) and my kids have been so busy, I started to absolutely delight in calendar planner days that had nothing on them. I mean, the level of joy I am filled with by a day with nothing scheduled to do is matched only by…well i don’t know. Free days are the highest octave of joy right now. That is how I feel when I see a day with no major astrological transits. It’s bullshit of course, just a little trick my mind plays, because even if there is “nothing” major going on in the sky, your personal chart can have aspects at any time. But still, empty days are fucking delightful! And we have one next Saturday! Granted, Sunday is chock full, but let us just enjoy that blank day! I am calling it “no pants day”. If you remember listening to my radio show in the early days, I talked a lot about having a blanket fort, and hating pants. I even have a bracelet that says “fuck wearing pants”. I value that women can wear pants if they want, because the feminists of the 50s and 60s made sure of that. But I also value that I don’t have to fucking wear them! I have always hated pants. I hated pants when I was young and hot, and I hate pants now that I am old and hot in a different way! (snort) So I declare empty astrology days as “NO PANTS DAY”. And so it shall be, huzzah!

Overall this week, I can’t help but notice that the “nodes of fate” are having a moment. The nodes of fate are the north and south nodes of the moon, and they refer to our destined path. The south node speaks to what we came in to this life being gifted with or good at, and the north is where we are headed. We have choices as to how we get there, but it is one way to view our soul purpose. There’s a cute new movie on Netflix called “Look Both Ways” which is making me think about the nodes of fate. We get to where we are supposed to be. When we listen to our inner guidance and have faith and get out of our own way, the journey is less wandering and cluttered and nutty. But really, very few people have a straight line with no detours to their destiny. Free Will is and will always be Queen of Humanity.

So with the nodes of fate action, I am reminded that we are in the midst of pretty big realignments, both as a society, and globally, but also individually. The way we feel valued is changing. The things we value and how we express that is changing. We are refining our dreams and goals and picking up old projects and putting away stagnant ones. And some of us are standing in the middle of the desert going “where the fuck am I?” We have all been there. Hydrate, ask for directions, follow your gut (the sun), listen to your needs (the moon), and you will get back on the road. But these times we wander are not for nothing. Someday I’ll come back from the other side and explain what they are for, but I know deeply that they have purpose. We are also never alone in the desert, or the forest or wherever your soul might be wandering. Remember that.

Mars enters his shadow this week, giving us little hints about what his retrograde behavior might bring up for us. Mars will be in Gemini for 7 freaking months. That’s a long time. Gemini could make Mars more impulsive, or sharp tongued, so just be aware. Impulsivity is not always a bad thing…we call it spontaneous when we want to sound sophisticated and energetic. We call it impulsive when we think someone is being dumb. The very idea that I just split that concept into 2 connotations is so very Gemini of me. Haha.

I still sense some friction and “figuring shit out” energy in relationships, and in how we give and receive nurturing. What’s your love language? That’s an interesting thing to look into and can help you understand your relationships better. We often, if not usually, receive love in a very different way than we give it. Keeping in that relationship vein, Venus makes a number of somewhat quiet but significant moves this week before she moves into Virgo. She is a little restless and bored with ordinary connection. She’s pushing the envelope and testing things. She’s a little selfish and self centered right now in these last degrees of Leo. There may be some necessary shake ups that will settle and fall back into place when she enters Virgo.

I also see some sassy rebellion and some criticism coming. It feels like criticism we give, but it would be silly to think that door only swings one way. When you are trying to manifest and receive, we often put filters on the energy we want to come to us. We want to receive whatever - money, a new job, a raise, a relationship, a better relationship, better health, a different house, financial security etc. etc. etc…all the things we try to manifest, you have to open yourself to receiving everything the Universe has for you, because the Universe has your back!

One of my Sweary Spirituality cards says something like this: when you order a pizza and it arrives, you (ok this is a pre-covid analogy hahaha) open the door and take the pizza. You exchange money, and then you eat your pizza. What would it be like if you didn’t open the screen door? It is an incomplete exchange. You’ve been given a pizza, but you are going to try to eat it through the screen door? Ask the pizza guy to take it out of the box and hold it up against the screen so you can just smell it or lick it? If you open the door, you may let a fly in, and you may not like the energy of the pizza person, or it's (gasp) the wrong kind of pizza! But if you want to receive, fully, you must be open to both good and bad things. You might get a raise or a job but feel a little criticized in your review, or like your probation period is weird. You might have to move houses and it's a real drag, but then end up in a way better place (this happened to me! I had been manifesting a new house for a bit. It didn’t come the way I thought it would, but…here we are!) . Virgo loves a process, loves breaking it down, refining it, making it work. The Universe has a process that we are not able to fully see or grasp. But trust! Trust the process. Take the filter off your receiving mechanisms. Open the door all the way.

 

I got 2 new cat tarot decks (and another one coming. What is my problem?!), so I’m going to pull a couple cards for each sign to see what September is all about for each of us. Meow. (Yeah, sorry I didn’t have this for Leo season, but hey, Venus is in Leo for a few more days!)



ARIES - Virgo rules your 6th house of work, routine and habit. What is working for you and what isn’t? What processes need to be refined or maybe even thrown out? For you I pulled the Page of Pentacles and the Magician. Your willingness to learn gives you access to fast manifestation of what you want. Your natural enthusiasm for learning creates a vibe that allows things in...like the whole pizza, cuz you were hungry and you knew it would come!  There could be a raise this month, of your student loan may come through. You’ve trusted the process! Eat your pizza!

TAURUS - September looks juicy for you. Virgo sits in your 5th house of romance. You may start really nurturing a new relationship (or rekindling an existing one). The 5th house also rules creativity, expression and play. The cards I pulled for you are the 10 of pentacles from both decks! 2 tens can indicate a marriage, so maybe you’ll meet “the one” in September, or actually get married. There could be a non-marital kind of union as well, but it would involve some creative project or passion. There’s definitely money involved in whatever this union is. This could also be an estate or inheritance settling. Definitely more financial security for you in this month than in the last few!

GEMINI - Virgo rules your 4th house of home, so you may have a keen eye on organizing things in your home or otherwise strengthening your safe place. The cards for you are the Ace of Pentacles/Coins and the Page of Wands. There is so much enthusiasm in these 2 cards! There’s definitely a new venture/adventure coming, and it is likely to bring money with it. The Page of wands offers so much inspiration for what this thing is. This will increase your sense of security (probably because of the money, but also your confidence). Your 4th house is where your parents (or whomever) raised you and gave you a foundation off which to launch. Whatever new project this is will offer a shoring up of that foundation and a chance to re-launch in your current phase of life.

CANCER - Virgo rules your 3rd house, so your communication and the intake of knowledge and curiosity are emphasized in September. Your mind will be very stimulated and busy, and this could be a great time for you to write. So your 2 cards are The Chariot and the Tower. Now don’t freak out about the tower. The fact that both of these are major arcana means this is pretty big energy. There’s movement, and that movement leads to an end of something. Endings and beginnings are 2 sides of the same coin. Whatever this is, it isn’t awful. Jarring perhaps. But the thing that ends, likely unexpectedly, will help you advance even further. I pulled a 3rd card for clarity and it's the 6 of wands, which is about progress and victory. So whatever this is is actually an advancement and a victory for you.

LEO - well, Kitty, Virgo in your 2nd house is great for money and money management. Security will be front of mind for you. So much so, that according to the cards, you may be focusing on the losses rather than the gains. Your 2 cards are the 4 and 5 of cups. The 4 of cups is boredom and major discontent, and the 5 of cups is crying over spilt milk, and dwelling on the negative. There are 5 cups and 3 of them are spilled and if that’s what you focus on, sure that’s gonna suck. But there are still 2 cups upright. Just to soothe you, I pulled a 3rd card and its the Sun. It doesn’t get much clearer than this - success and happiness are available, but you may need to adjust your attitude. Perhaps your security needs to come from more than just money, and maybe you are better off than you think.

VIRGO - Obviously the month of September is your season, Virg. This is the time when your light shines just a bit brighter and the bleck of the Leo season where you may have felt pouty and negative is behind you. You feel enthused and ready for a new season of you. Your cards are the Lovers and the 4 of cups. You share that 4 of cups with Leo, who is also feeling discontented. In your case, a romantic relationship may not be filling your cup or meeting your needs and you’re feeling bored and dissatisfied. You might be dating and just not enjoying the process or the people you’re meeting. The clarifying card I picked for you is the 8 of cups. One of my dear friends, Crisann, described this as “my ass looks good as I walk away”, and I have never forgotten that. It lifts the sometimes heavy message of the 8 of cups into something more about choosing something better, and looking good in the process.

LIBRA - Generally speaking, the few weeks before our birthdays are often a little mopey and depressed. In part, because we are thinking of aging, and what we haven’t done, and who will come to our birthday party, etc. But astrologically, the few weeks before our birthday, the sun is transiting our 12th house of mopiness and loneliness. Virgo is there for you now, and you may be very self critical at this time. But your cards for September are The Fool and the 3 of Cups. The fool sets out on new and unknown adventures. He has trust in the Universe and the process, and is excited about what’s to come. The 3 of cups is a card of celebration and joy. Good things are going to happen, if they aren’t already. Don’t be too hard on yourself or get too much in your own head.

 


SCORPIO - Virgo lands in your 11th house of collaboration, and you likely would rather work alone. However, there is a lot you can offer here. You have support for your visions in this placement, and others will benefit from your skillset as well. Its a win-win! However, these cards are a caveat. The Queen of Pentacles/Coins and the 10 of wands. This is a be careful what you wish for kind of line up. The Queen of Coins is grounded and financially secure. She enjoys her station. The 10 of wands is very burdened by what he carries. And indeed, we can wish we were rich as hell, but even the rich have problems. The bigger your life, the bigger the problems. I pulled a clarifying card and its the 2 of pentacles. Find your balance. This is what this Sun in the 11th house will give you - the balance between what you offer and earn as an individual and what you contribute to the group, thereby sharing the burden. You need support!

SAGITTARIUS - Virgo in your 10th house of career and public image means you’re under a bit of a scrutiny, or under a career microscope. This is like review season at work. Look for an authority figure you admire and trust, and even if you don’t personally know them, pull on their wisdom and energy. Your cards are the Hanged Man and the 2 of Cups. The Hanged Man says surrender to the process and even the criticism. Learn from it. That 2 of cups means you are likely to meet someone significant, with whom you share a strong connection. Maybe this is even someone you work with, or your relationship and career are in conflict, in which case that hanged man leaves you with a decision to weigh! This is where that authority figure can come in to help you. Decisions decisions. 

CAPRICORN - Now that the possibly oppressive heat and nonsense of summer is coming to a close, you might start thinking about the world at large more. What Virgo adds to this is ‘service’. Maybe you’re ready to volunteer somewhere. Or perhaps you’re being viewed as a teacher or guide somewhere in your life. Appropriately, your cards are Judgement and the 9 of Wands. Judgement says “pencils down, the test is over” and the 9 of Wands is like “oh shit, how’d I do?” You know what? You did fine. Because you’ve persevered, pushed forward, and been determined like only a Cap can be. You are resilient AF and victory will be yours. Judgement lets you graduate to the next phase or calling.

AQUARIUS - Virgo hits your 8th house, so there’s no better time to get your debts and loans organized and put in a system to pay them off. That’s the bonus of Virgo. The challenge here is finding balance in what you share with others. Don’t be too guarded and buttoned up, but don’t spill everything on the proverbial first date either. It's the virgin/whore dichotomy. Your cards are the 8 of Cups and the Devil. Girl, walk away from whatever is taking too much of your power! Someone is forcing you into one of the virgin/whore roles and you don’t need that shit. This could be a sexual relationship, a job, or that debt. Virgo also got the 8 of cups and it is the “my ass looks good as I walk away”. You are off to find something better, no question. 

PISCES - Virgo lands in your 7th house of contractual relationships. If a contract went south recently, this Virgo time might offer clarification, or a solution that serves both parties better. There is nurturing energy available for your marriage or partner, and it is probably much needed. Virgo can also be critical, so if there is a clearing of the air, make sure it is kind and productive as well as honest and fair. Your cards are the Page of Swords and the 8 of Wands. Nobody better be in your way this month, because you are ready to move. The Page of Swords is restless and ready to challenge anyone is his way. The 8 wands are already in the air and movement is happening! The thing is going to come together! Congrats!

PLANETS THIS WEEK

SUN - Virgo
MERCURY - Libra
VENUS → Virgo
MARS - Gemini
JUPITER - Aries (Rx)
SATURN - Aquarius (Rx)
URANUS - Taurus (Rx)
NEPTUNE - Pisces (Rx)
PLUTO - Capricorn (Rx)
CHIRON - Aries (Rx)
CHARIKLO - Aquarius (Rx)
CHAOS - Cancer
N. NODE - Taurus
CERES - Leo
PALLAS - Gemini
JUNO - Pisces
VESTA - Aquarius (Rx)
LILITH - Cancer
ERIS - Aries (Rx)
SIRIUS- Cancer (fixed)


TRANSITS THIS WEEK

Monday 29 Aug
Pluto quincunx Pallas
Ceres square North Node


Tuesday 30 Aug 
Sun quincunx Jupiter
Ceres quincunx Juno

Wednesday 31 Aug 
Mercury trine Chariklo
Venus quincunx Neptune
Venus trine Eris
Juno sextile North Node

Thursday 1 Sept
Mars sextile Jupiter
Chiron square Lilith

Friday 2 Sept
Venus opposite Vesta
Mercury opposite Jupiter
Venus quincunx Pluto

Saturday 3 Sept
-
NO PANTS DAY

Sunday 4 Sept
Uranus square Ceres
Mars enters shadow phase
Mercury trine Mars
Juno trine Lilith
Venus sextile Pallas
Venus enters Virgo

Monday 5 Sept
Venus sextile Chaos