Moment of honesty and transparency, guys?
Sometimes I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing in the Spiritual community. I look around and feel like such an asshole because I see a lot of what I consider be to be bullshit that’s being peddled as THE EASY ANSWER. 3 ways to manifest, 10 ways to heal, the one thing you’ve been missing, 8 steps to financial perfection, 45 steps to the body you love, the one true path of happiness, the 5 steps to everything you ever wanted. Um well, I’m sorry to break it to you, but, maybe you didn’t read the contract for being human.
Article 409, paragraph 3.1.z.a, line 9,854: Life as a human is usually hard.
The inner dialogue I have with myself in these moments of frustration are complex, and confusing. For your enlightenment, I shall now compare my inner world to that of Seinfeld…
It starts with all my Capricorn, which I think is Jerry. My Mercury in Cap, which longs for proper information, logic, reason, accountability, and practicality. I use humor to convey truth. My Mars in Sagittarius in the 6th house gets pissed (Elaine) and wants to make it right, because people neeeeeed to be informed and protected, Jerry. Then my 8th house Aquarius slides in like Kramer and goes “Well let’s fuck this up then!” But then my Pisces midheaven, George, is paranoid and undecided and is afraid of pissing people off. Mostly then it boils down to Jerry and Kramer, looking at each other going “Well Idanno, should we?” “Idanno Jerry, but what choice do we have?!” (with a crazy hair floop thrown in there).
“I can’t believe I’m going to say this but I think you’re right, Kramer”
So here we are.
I will tell you plainly I sometimes wonder if anyone cares what I have to say. But my 3rd house moon compels me to say it, regardless.
I was listening to a podcast this morning with 2 very well known astrologers, who were talking about, of course, Covid. First of all, it bugs me that it is constantly referred to as “corona virus”. There are many corona viruses. This one is new, and has a new name: Covid-19. Its official name is “SARS-CoV-2” (Severe acute respiratory syndrome). But I digress. (It won’t be the last time…)
So they were discussing how people can cope with the isolation and all the issues coming up from quarantine and stay at home mandates. He went on to say that if we don’t give in to fear, we don’t have to experience this in a fearful way. And that we can protect and heal ourselves. AND that this is “one of the weaker viruses we’ve had”. Those things are all true up to a point. We don’t have to marinade in the drama and trauma and fear and panic. We can remain level headed but still grounded in reality. We can protect and heal ourselves – in part by avoiding crowds and practicing good hygiene. Also by reducing the stress you can control, eating healthy, etc. We can visualize ourselves in good health, and healed. We can hold the belief that we are whole and healthy and strong. Those are all essential mindsets that I truly believe in. I also believe that essential oils can help the body and/or spirit in some ways. I believe in Reiki, and pretty much all forms of energetic connection and healing. However…to make statements like “giving in to fear is the reason we experience this”, and that this is a weak virus…is not only dangerous, but also inaccurate and irresponsible.
I have been going on about this since January on BitchSplaining, trying to provide scientific facts in the face of a lot of misinformation, whether anyone hears me or not... The virus itself is not as contagious as say, measles, not as deadly as Ebola. But to call it weak just perpetuates behavior that flies in the face of good common sense right now. There are plenty of people who think this is hogwash, and an over reaction, STILL. Despite famous doctors and surgeons and many medical people themselves dying. It causes very severe pneumonia in the most serious cases (and no I don’t think it was here in the states late last year. Why? Because we didn’t see all these pneumonia cases then. But whatever) The truth is, this particular virus is quite easily transmitted – perhaps moreso than the flu. But, if I hear one person compare this to a flu, I might implode. I guess You do you- Call it the flu. (I rhyme even when irritated.)
So my problem with this, and sooooo many other spiritual teachings, is that it's rather escapist. What I’m about to say may not be popular with many people…what’s new. Look at the name of my branding…
I thought the spiritual community was different than the religious community and was a little more accepting of science (I’ve never understood why Science and God by any name needed to be mutually exclusive!). But I was wrong. The “spritual” community has become, in many ways, all the things it sought to escape in religion. There’s a big tendency in spirituality and ironically, humanism, to transcend the human experience in order to become enlightened, or one with God, or more than human. This is taught in so many ways, from meditation, to prosperity gospel, to manifesting, to yoga (done wrong). We don’t need to do anything to connect with God. God is in us, around us, the fabric of us. We don’t need to meditate to find Her. What meditation should do, rather than help you escape your body, is connect you to it, and to your self. Going within and being quiet should facilitate conversation with your own voice that gets drown out in the buzz of life. What yoga should do, is put you IN your body, to appreciate it, challenge it, breathe in to it. What prayer should do is connect you to compassion and vulnerability. What prosperity preachers should be teaching, rather than “you can have it all if you just do this simple thing”, is “you are worthy of everything you desire. Let’s be willing to uncover (and heal) the wounds that hold us back”. THAT work is not simple.
You know what else isn’t simple, or easy? Humaning! Jesus, himself a human, experienced the pain of being human. How much more connected to God must One be? Do we not think Mother Teresa wanted to transcend the suffering of Earth? Or Jane Goodall, or Mr. Rogers? These are all amazing, compassionate humans and they still suffered the difficulties of life on Earth.
I believe I incarnated with specific purposes in this life. Those aren’t necessarily big secrets or something I need to search the depths for. Mostly, I feel, it’s right here on the surface. My calling is who I am. More on that another time. I believe I came to Earth as a human to connect with and impact and affect other humans for our mutual growth. I didn’t incarnate as a cat or llama (something I regularly question), or remain in spirit form, free of the annoying boundaries of flesh and physics, to float around unseen and subtly assist the flailing humans. No. I chose to BE a fucking flailing human, because that’s the best way to get done what I wanted to get done, or what God and I decided I needed to get done...whatever the case.
Are there ways we make our suffering far more than it has to be? Absolutely! We are all our own worst enemy, individually and collectively. I advocate all the ways possible to have peace and love and joy. I personally don’t feel that getting out of your body is the answer. This annoying flesh suit is the requirement for Earth. Trying to get out of it, rise above it, deny it, etc. just creates more struggle and disconnect. We hate our bodies! How then can we possibly embrace the task of being human?
So, there’s a thick fog of denial over many of us. We are all dealing with this differently, but at the core of it, it is GRIEF. We are grieving our normal, our “used to be”, our freedom, our vacations, our kids’ educations, our graduations and ceremonies, our incomes, our jobs, and death itself. Grief is like the color black that represents it - it contains all the emotions of the spectrum. Denial is part of that, as is anger, sadness, acceptance...you know the drill. So while collective denial is “natural” in this unique scenario, it can be a dangerous thing to perpetuate. When a patient is dying, a doctor can not join a family member in denial...
So for those of you who are a little more solid in your footing in this, hold the line. Remain steady with your feet on the ground, your connection to your body whole, and your oneness with God unchanged. For those of you who are terrified, it is OK to feel that way. We are moving through unknown waters. There is no shame in accepting facts, figures, statistics, and science. But you also don’t need to be paralyzed by them. Balance! We are such black and white thinkers, we humans. Like we must be living OR dying. We must be sick or healthy. We must be male or female. We must be rich or poor. We must believe or not believe. We must be beautiful or ugly. Why do we live in the extremes? We are neither powerless, nor all powerful. In the middle, the beautiful gray, there is so much untapped experience for us.
We are bound by the laws of Earthly existence. We have potential far beyond what we usually exercise, but still have limits. We can heal and protect our bodies, but not while we hate them while pretending to love them. We have to get IN them. And we have to get in reality. Yes, Virginia, there IS a reality. You are allowed to represent something alternative, but you still have to operate within it. You can create a new reality for yourself, but within the boundaries of your body, soul, and contracts. You can love the vehicle your body is, and not consider it perfect, or finished, or even OK. You can love something but not like it very much (ever had a spouse, or a toddler?). You can be grateful and still experience fear and anger and pain.
You can experience this pandemic with fear, and with hope, with gratitude and with paranoia. You can believe science and facts and still not feel fearful. These things we ARE in control of. But we make the choices so much harder than they need to be.
So honestly, this blathering soul vomit I’ve just done into my keyboard may resonate with absolutely no one. And there are many days I think “well maybe I’ll just shut UP!” (said like Elaine). But I’m tired of being apologetic and careful when no one else seems to be. Who made me the guardian of people’s feelings? Me? Well I’m fired. I’m sick of worrying about if anyone is listening or if they agree. I am a preacher of authenticity, but you guys, I hold back so much. And I don’t know why. Or if I can anymore. So maybe that’s a warning, maybe that’s a threat, maybe that’s a teaser for a docu-series movie about me, or a show about everything and nothing...
