Newton's 3rd Law - BitchScopes for the Week of May 16th

In looking at the whole of May, I can’t help but notice how quiet the goddess asteroids are this month. There are fewer transits of my favorites asteroids this month than any month I can remember. Where are the badass ladies? I would like to think they are having a meeting about the fuckery that’s currently happening, planning the next steps they will take; especially Lilith and Eris, who both embody righteous anger, resentment of oppression, and refusal to be subservient. I think we are in the calm before the storm, or in the eye of the hurricane.  The forces of resistance are gathering their weapons.  There are a few transits with a couple of the goddesses this week, but 3 out of 4 of them are squares, indicating tension and conflict.

It's no secret that in current events, the patriarchy is running amok and drinking the misogyny kool-aid. Everything in our world seeks balance. When you observe social issues and politics over a long period of time, you will notice that when things swing hard to one side or the other, there is a response to that which is equal in intensity. You can see this in politics between Republicans and Democrats. When Democrats have had the floor or the office for a bit, the Republicans step in and things swing hard the other way, and visa versa. The reason we see so much chatter about socialism, a topic that has traditionally been very taboo in the USA, is because Capitalism is unchecked right now. There are multiple mega industries that constitute, monopolies, and the US has basically become an Oligarchy where the rich dominate politics and create an ever widening divide between the super rich and the rest of us schmucks. 

When gay rights were oppressed to the point that people were being murdered, the gay community rose up. When I hear people complain about LGBTQ issues being too much “in their face”, I like to point out that that is because the LGBTQ community has been oppressed and abused and marginalized and murdered. 

When I hear people talk about black issues and complain about the BLM movement, or say that they never owned slaves so wtf is this “restitution” bullshit, I like to point out that racism did not end when slavery ended and that our entire culture is built on a foundation of racism from top to bottom. Oh, and black people are being murdered. 

When I hear people whine about how feminism is ruining families or that “feminazis”  are just bitter man haters, I like to point out that women barely got the right to vote, the right to have their own bank accounts, and the right to be on birth control without their spouse’s consent in the middle of the last century, and that women make less than men in every job sector, and that women have to fight for all of their rights constantly because no one else does, and because the Constitution barely treats women better than blacks.  We all were property. And women will die by coat hangers and in all manner of ways no one gives a shit about. 

(I’m real popular at family dinners, as you can imagine.)

The patriarchy is all Lord of the Flies right now, but for every pound of downward pressure they exert on women, as hard as they stomp us down, we will rise back up with that same intensity. That is the nature of things. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction- isn’t only true in your Junior High science book. That doesn’t make what is currently happening any less awful, disheartening, frustrating, or disgusting. I am very disturbed by what is unfolding. If you are still reading my BitchScopes, I can only assume that our politics align somewhat so I will make this Netflix recommendation: “Overturning Roe” is excellent and educational AF! Also, I just learned that the original Roe decision was also leaked. WUT! Yep.

https://www.npr.org/2022/05/03/1096097236/roe-wade-original-ruling-leak

We are in Mercury retrograde (and the leak happened in the shadow period), so we are REassessing and REorganizing and REacting. The full moon is likely to uncover some secrets and skeletons as well. This week Mercury backs into Taurus, affecting things involving loyalty, security, & finances, as well as issues with authority and needing to have your voice heard.

The Sun enters Gemini this week, bringing intellectual depth to the conversations, as well as research, curiosity, and generally speaking, more information. So it is definitely a time of gathering info. You can tell I’m a Gemini rising with Saturn in Gemini by the length of this entry. Am I sorry? Not really. Love you. Here’s your BitchScopes


ARIES - Watch your wallet and bank account. Not because there’s anything shady going on, but because you might miss something important. Mercury in Taurus sits in your 2nd house so errors, mistakes, missed payments, and maybe overspending are possible. When the Sun enters Gemini this week, it starts a busy season for you. You may struggle to stay organized and keep track of things because of Mercury, so keep good notes, or whatever organizational tools work for you. It is very likely that joint bank accounts and other jointly held assets will be discussed now as well.


TAURUS - Hey big spender…put your credit card away. The current transits suggest you might be nesting and over spending as a means of comforting yourself. A healthy focus for you right now would be to assess your own value and what you offer the world and your relationships, especially if you’ve been feeling insecure. When was the last time you actually thought about your talents and gifts? This is also the perfect time to sit down and organize your finances if you want actual financial security.


GEMINI - Your ruling planet Mercury will back into Taurus and your 12th house this week. This is likely to be an introspective and/or introverted time for you. The difficulty will come from the conflict between solitude and scheduling. With the Sun entering your sign, you are likely to be busy, in demand, and in the spotlight. Make sure you’re carving time out for you to be alone and to rest and process. This is a brilliant opportunity for you to work on forming new and healthy habits and routine incorportating self care.


CANCER - Mercury backing into your 11th house could re-activate some hopes and dreams you put on the back burner. When the Sun enters Gemini this week, it will be in your 12th house of solitude, so this is a great opportunity for you to go deep and examine your desires and dreams for your life. Don’t completely become a hermit, however, because your friendships and your tribe will be a source of comfort and security for you. Find a good balance between being alone and being with others.


LEO - You are likely to be in the spotlight or be advancing in your career in some way. The actual raise and or promotion may not come until mid-late June, but the conversations are happening now. Be careful about what you say and to whom, because success and achievement can also be helped along (or shot down) by your friends and colleagues. Office gossip is a hard pass right now. Time with your family and friends will help you stay grounded and light hearted.


VIRGO - Mercury backs into Taurus in your 9th house, and the Sun will be activating your 10th house. It might be time to further your education and career. Learning another language is another great focus for you now, and depending on what language and what you do for a living, it might help your career as well. You might also be experiencing a shift in your beliefs and what you want to do with your life. These kind of shifts and realizations can cause a little panic, but it’s really natural and normal, as well as healthy! If you want to make a change of direction, this is a great time to start planning for it.


LIBRA - You are likely going through a period where your beliefs are shifting, and maybe you’re checking out more spiritual “stuff” than you have in the past. There’s nothing wrong with trying a new church, even if you’ve said in the past it's not your thing. In general, you’ll be more focused on things outside of yourself for this period of time, and having deep realizations or questions you want to explore. Discoveries you make now can forge a new path for you a little later.


SCORPIO - The Sun’s ingress into Gemini this week will orient your thoughts toward intimacy and joint resources. Mercury will also back into Taurus in your 7th house, further emphasizing your relationships. Gemini and Mercury are constantly hungry for knowledge and information, so you might find yourself really introspecting and reassessing your desires and needs, as well as weighing current relationships to see if they embody what you need. This shouldn’t tax you too much at all, as you’re not afraid of depth. Partners may not be so brave though, so keep track of your compassion.


SAGITTARIUS - There will be a focus on all things mundane as Mercury backs into Taurus. It might be an issue with your body or your health, or some important part of your daily routine that gets screwed up. Re-organize and re-evaluate your habits, routine, diet, and things in your immediate environment that don’t contribute to your happiness. Any vulnerability you feel has the potential to activate a new or deeper relationship. So don’t fight the feelings or the flow.


CAPRICORN - You will probably find some strange joy in organizing and cleaning for the next few weeks. Creative and do-it-yourself type projects are highlighted now, and you might find this to be a productive outlet for any career frustrations you have, and the physical work will make you feel good too. Mercury will back into Taurus in your 5th house of creativity and romance, so you perhaps more than most other signs, might be hearing from your ex during this Mercury cycle. That doesn’t mean you should initiate contact with your ex.


AQUARIUS - The Sun’s ingress into Gemini this week activates a time of fun and romance for you (thank goddess!). It's time to emerge from your cocoon where you conveniently can hide with a long list of things to do. Put the post its down and go out! Mercury backs into your 4th house of home and family. You may be thinking a lot about your childhood, or reflecting on why you are who you are. Spending time with your family is favored (if they aren’t toxic), and will help you re-focus.


PISCES - You, more than other signs, might fall victim to Mercury retrograde’s communication hijinx. As Mercury backs into Taurus, it moves into your 3rd house of communication, so…double check your emails before you send them, back up information that is critical, and try to keep a sense of humor when things go a little sideways. You might also be realizing that the way you communicate on your own behalf needs a little tweaking. Maybe you soft-sell your own needs too much. The Sun moving into Gemini will focus on family or on your physical home. You might be repairing things in the home, or figuring out a better way to communicate with your family.

 

May 15/16
Full Moon Lunar Eclipse (Total) 25° Scorpio (9:15pm 5/15 pacific) - revelations, secrets, ending, releasing

May 17

May 18
Mars conjunct Neptune - passionate and romantic
Jupiter square Ceres - desire to nurture conflicts with ideals/beliefs

May 19
Sun trine Pluto - intensity
Mercury sextile Jupiter - optimism
Sun square Vesta - confidence at “the office”

May 20
Sun enters Gemini - sociable, curious

May 21
Sun conjunct Mercury - communication, internal realizations

May 22
Mars sextile Pluto - determination
Mercury Rx enters Taurus - can affect things involving loyalty, security and finances; frustration with authority and desire to have your voice heard

May 23
Venus conjunct Eris - desire for sovereignty and respect
Sun sextile Jupiter - lucky
Mercury sextile Mars - confidence in expression
Mercury square Vesta - interruptions at “the office”

Big Dick Energy - BitchScopes for the Week of May 9th

Hey Bitches and Bitchsters! I’m back! Pretty sure. Mostly. Feeling better overall so I’m gonna go ahead and claim I’m back to full and vibrant and badass health. Sure!

So there’s 3 things I’m focusing on for this week’s scopes: Jupiter entering Aries, Mercury retrograde in Gemini, and a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Scorpio. Whoa! That’s quite a week! Maybe I should get back in bed? Nay, I shall persevere!

And so shall you. I am calling this week "Big Dick Energy" with the double entendre dangling there intentionally.  It will give us a boost of confidence in some cases, and it other cases, it may be a big, jerky asshole, aka, a dick.  It is likely a combination of both.  But remember, BDE is a quiet confidence, not an obnoxious arrogance.  Deep rooted self esteem is the goal. If you have it, you can lean into that BDE, if you don't, it is the Universe's goal for you.  This is a lot of energy for one week, so it will be interesting. 

Mercury Retrograde begins on May 10th in one of the signs it rules, Gemini. Communication issues and the typical hijinx of Mercury retrograde around that issue, will be strong. This might also be a nervous transit, since Mercury/Gemini rule the nervous system. Skin and face are also ruled by Mercury, FYI. Mental health is also going to be an important focus. And of course, arguments. With issues like Ukraine, abortion rights, and domestic abuse in the news, there’s plenty to fight about. So be conscious of how you interact with people. When Mercury retrogrades into Taurus, the mood will change to a more frustrated one, but we will talk about that later.

Jupiter has been in Pisces for about a year, during which time we have learned about connection and disconnection, how disease spreads, how religion spreads, and how to be overindulgent in every way. The move into Aries on Tuesday May 10th shifts the focus back to the self, the individual, and reconnecting with the physical. We are likely to feel more motivated and inspired during this time.

The Scorpio full moon lunar eclipse is something to really be aware of. It happens late Sunday the 15th into the wee hours of the morning the 16th. Scorpio is a deep diver, a detective, and a discoverer of truth. Full moons tend to illuminate what was previously hidden or unseen, so secrets could definitely be revealed, truths uncovered, skeletons uncloseted. In a lunar eclipse, the masculine overshadows the feminine, making logic a priority over feelings, and in the case of Scorpio, this would be for the purpose of transforming you or a situation involving you (for your highest good, whether you can see that in the present or not). This is a more aggressive, assertive energy. Full moons ask us to release what is no longer good for us or working for us. If you have a relationship or a job (or a secret) that is not healthy, you can choose to leave it, or the Universe will sometimes help that along. I like to think of it as exfoliating dead skin. But unlike dead skin, we tend to be pretty attached to things in our lives, so it can be a bit more jarring to have the full moon doing it for us and it may feel more like a traumatic debridement than an exfoliating spa treatment. If you’ve been doing your spiritual work, it will be far less upsetting.

So these BitchScopes are going to tell you where these energies affect your sign. I would read for both your Rising and Sun sign. (That is always the case but I forget to state it.)

ARIES - Firstly, Aries, having Jupiter in your sign is going to be fabulous and a big boon to any new projects you start, and could mark the beginning of a “new you”. Mercury will begin his retrograde in your 3rd house of communication, so you could have some technical snafus that you didn’t anticipate…Like, you backed up your hard drive, but your garage door stops working. In a couple weeks, it will back into your 2nd house of income so balance your checkbook now, and start asking yourself “what is the value of X” (not in an algebraic way, ew. In X = “this situation”). The Full Moon in Scorpio might clear the path for you to find a deeper connection and partnership. All things intimate and shared are highlighted for you with this moon.


TAURUS - Jupiter in Aries will transit your 12th house, offering you a well deserved rest. You may also feel a stirring curiosity about spiritual and mystical things. Mercury will retrograde in your 2nd house of income and values. You may find your stocks dip in value (it's temporary!), or that there’s a banking snafu. Examine what you value and how you value it (including yourself). Later, Mercury will back into your 1st house of self, asking you to take a beat and reacquaint yourself with your self. The Full Moon eclipse occurs in your 7th house of contracted partnerships. You may feel it is time to renegotiate some terms of the agreement.


GEMINI - Jupiter in Aries will transit your 11th house, highlighting your friends and aspirations for the future. You are likely to somehow expand your circle and your tribe during this time. Mercury will retrograde in your 1st house of self. How you present and express yourself to the world may undergo a shift. Sometimes these adjustments are necessary so we are always authentic as we grow and change. Later, Mercury will back into your 12th house where you can take a nap, meditate, or just be alone. The Full Moon eclipse occurs in your 6th house of work and routine, and oh yeah…health! (ha if you know me, you know this pertains to me oh so much!) You cannot ignore symptoms of distress anymore, whether it is distress in your work environment, distress you cause yourself by being unorganized, or distress in your body. Take care of YOU.


CANCER - Jupiter in Aries will transit your 10th house, suggesting you’re about to move up in the world! Your public facing self is about to expand, get a promotion, or just be more “seen”. Mercury will retrograde in your 12th house of rest, psychology, and spirituality. You may feel a little blue during this time. In a couple weeks, Mercury will back into your 11th house of friends, and you may reconnect with an old friend, or have a misunderstanding with a current friend. The Full Moon eclipse occurs in your 5th house of play, lucky you! Passion rules in this transit, so make the most of it. That includes creativity, so…Idanno, maybe cover your naked body in paint and roll around on a big piece of paper. (heehee)


LEO - Meow. Jupiter in Aries will transit your 9th house, so make sure your luggage is ready. New Adventures, experiences and travel are very likely over the next year. Mercury will retrograde in your 11th house, then your 10th. Old friends may reappear (for better or worse). Finish your jobs and tie up loose ends at work. This is a good time to update your resume and your professional platforms. The Full Moon eclipse occurs in your 4th house of home and family. Some sort of domestic issue could escalate and resolve, or there may be a change of who you live with over the next few months.


VIRGO - Jupiter in Aries will transit your 8th house, ramping up intimacy, sexuality, and personal transformations. “Unearned” money (winnings, inheritance, tax returns, loans) are also key for this period. Mercury will retrograde in your 10th house career and public image, and then move into the 9th. Changes in your “job” may occur, as well as changes in your beliefs and philosophies. Maybe your current job doesn’t jive with your soul anymore, or maybe it never did. The Full Moon eclipse occurs in your 3rd house of communication. You may be making strong statements on social media, or having a “come to Jesus” meeting with someone.


LIBRA - Jupiter in Aries will transit your 7th house, so your contracted partnerships are in for a boost. That means your marriage partner as well as your business partners. Mercury retrograde will start in your 9th house of adventure and experience and finish in your 8th house of “other people’s stuff”. You’ll be thinking about the future and making plans for your shared resources. The Full Moon eclipse occurs in your 2nd house of income and value. The moon will illuminate something about your money, how you spend, what you value, etc.


SCORPIO - Scorpio, Jupiter in Aries will transit your 6th house, of work, habits and health. Things will be improving in these areas. Mercury will retrograde in your 8th house of sex and money. Take a look at your life insurance plans and needs. Talk to your partner about your sexual needs. Secrets may come out during this time. In a couple weeks, Mercury will back into your 7th house contracts, so you may want to examine the “terms” of your agreements. This includes your spouse, and your work partners. The Full Moon eclipse occurs in your very own sign and it could mark the beginning of a great new you! Old you things will be swept out of the way to make room for some kind of TADA moment.


SAGITTARIUS - Jupiter in Aries will transit your 5th house, so you can expect an uptick in fun, romance, and creativity! Mercury retrograde will start in your 7th house of marriage and contracts and finish in your 6th house of work, health and habits. You’ll be re-evaluating the terms of your agreements with others, as well as how you care for yourself. A change in lifestyle or health management is likely over the next several months. The Full Moon eclipse occurs in your mysterious and confusing 12th house. This is prime territory for secrets being revealed, personal revelations, and skeletons falling out of closets (probably your own). This will spark a healing, one way or another.


CAPRICORN - Cappy, my not so secret favorite, Jupiter in Aries will transit your 4th house. So you will be working on your home, expanding your home or family, or moving. Domestic stability will be increasing. Mercury will retrograde will start in your 6th house of health and habits and finish in your 5th house of fun and creativity. It’s time to reorganize your work space and/or your routine. Doing so will boost your creative energy. While Mercury is in Taurus, you creativity may stall, so don’t decide what is or isn’t working for sure until mid-June. The Full Moon eclipse occurs in your 11th house of friends. Though that house also rules Aquarian things and technology. So you may have an upgrade in those things, with an eye on how they support your future goals.


AQUARIUS - Jupiter in Aries will transit your 3rd house of communication. If you’re in broadcasting or publishing, or wanting to be published, this could be the year! Mercury will retrograde in your 5th house of fun and creativity, and children and then move into the 4th. So there may be some communication issues with or among your children, or you may be making changes to your home environment. The Full Moon eclipse occurs in your 10th house of career and public image. This might be the kick off the Jupiter in the 3rd house expansion of your message. Make sure your business ducks are in a row.


PISCES - Jupiter is departing your sign and moving on. So you may feel a little bajiggity for a few days as you adjust. But this is actually going to be great! Jupiter in Aries will transit your 2nd house, expanding your income and your value! Mercury will retrograde in your 4th house of home and family and then move into the 3rd. You might be re-evaluating things you believed about your childhood or family, including siblings (3rd house). As Mercury finishes up, you may have the trickster irritating you with dead batteries and other technical snafus. The Full Moon eclipse occurs in your 9th house of experience. You may have an a-ha moment about how you’ve limited yourself and throw off all that old bullshit. Sudden opportunities for travel or “expansion” may also pop up for you.

I’m late, I’m late…BitchScopes for May 1-8

Sorry scopes are late.  I took a beat to rest, feel like shit, have a migraine, sweat profusely due to prednisone withdrawal, swear at boxes, shuffle aimlessly through the cardboard chaos that is moving, and basically just be a mess.  I suck at resting.  A lot.  But my body is forcing me to.   I had covid last August and I’m definitely having some long covid issues.  Then I got shingles. My migraines are hormonal.  I’m all fucked up, y’all.  

Anyway that’s why they’re late.  

So there are a large number of sextiles in the transits this week.  Sextiles are chill and cooperative, so it looks like this week will be mostly gentle. (Thank fuck for small mercies!) 

There’s a lot of change afoot, stirred up by the eclipse and Uranus. Idanno how I feel about that, in light of the “news” around Roe v Wade. The US is in the midst of its Pluto return, and the chart for Roe v Wade has some challenging transits happening as well.  It’s interesting to study, disturbing to watch unfold.  

Excuse me, I must go iron my red handmaids robe.  Here are your extra bitchy BitchScopes! 

ARIES - keep your head down and focus on whatever your current pet project is.  There’s potentially some drama among friends that you want no part of.  It will settle without your help, so just stay out of the fray. 

TAURUS - Happy Birthday! If you feel a tad blue and withdrawn, it will pass. It’s normal around birthdays, actually.  But the eclipse and it’s dust ups might have you feeling a little bajiggity, needy, or nostalgic. This week, treat yourself to what your heart needs;  If that’s a cashmere pillow and some Godiva chocolate, well then the heart wants what the heart wants! 

GEMINI - if your nervous system has been out of whack or over-wound, Mercury retrograde may actually help you.  It is in your sign, and it is likely to be a pain in the ass for all the stereotypical reasons (communications, computers, cars, you know). BUT, there’s a reset for you within this cycle.  Mercury stations retrograde next Tuesday, so set some intentions for it like you would for a new moon.  Crazy? Maybe.  Do it anyway cuz I said so! 

CANCER - one of the changes stirred up for you may be around a theme of “focus”. your attention may be in too many different places/groups/projects.  You’ve pulled this off for quite awhile but you may need to rein it in for the 2nd half of this year.  This relatively peaceful week is a good time to make some lists and examine what your true priorities are. 

LEO - there’s a mixture of sincere pride in your own work, and a sort of wistfulness about things you haven’t done and that you realistically may not get to do.  Accepting limits is not always your strong suit.  But knowing yourself and your limitations makes a good leader, and you are already that.  Make peace with what is and what is not meant to be.  

VIRGO - you are definitely having a period of golden glory, and you deserve it.  You’ve been through more than most.  There’s someone who has played an important role that you are deliberately avoiding gratitude for.  That’s worth looking into to see why that is.   Mercury retrograde might is a good opportunity to explore this.  

LIBRA - Nostalgia may get the best of you and have you longing for what you think were simpler times.  They weren’t simpler.  The mind is a powerful and protective thing and I can blur the difficult details sometimes.  What’s in front of you is way better than what’s behind you.  The eclipses will be blowing good stuff your way soon.  

SCORPIO - you may feel like your mojo is out to lunch.  Don’t be a silly bitch! Your mojo is as hot as it ever was.  However, you may be experiencing a shift in how your magic expresses itself.  Let this develop and don’t try to steer the river.  Be an observer while we are in this eclipse hallway. You’ll figure out the password to your mojo very soon!

SAGITTARIUS - if you feel like you’re doing the 2 steps forward 1 step back dance, you likely are.  There seems to be moments and bursts of progress and then periods of ebb.  You are making progress, just not as fast as you’d like, as usual.  If you look back over the last 6 months at how much you’ve changed and learned, it might help your perspective.  

CAPRICORN - take your vitamins, because you will find yourself on a mission or a passion project soon, (if it hadn’t already happened).  It’s not as though moss has been gathering on your back (it never has!) but your fire has been on low for a bit.  You’ll feel that satisfaction you’ve been craving soon enough.  

AQUARIUS - if you’ve been feeling that your friends group has been very thinned out or stripped down (and it may have been for quite awhile), you have some great new connections to look forward to.  It will be coalescing over the course of this year, but your tribe is forming.  It’s overdue for you, and you’ll feel great about it. 

PISCES - if you recently took a gamble and spoke your mind to someone and it didn’t go the way you hoped, don’t freak out.  The can of worms you opened may be just the right worms for the job.  Try to let things unfold without fussing too much.  Be cool.  Let mercury retrograde do its thing, too.  It will suss out details you need to see