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Sunday, September 10, 2023

This Moon is a MOTHER! Bitchstrology for 9/11-9/17 & the New Moon in Virgo



Greetings Bitches!

The astrology this week is offering a mixed bag of feeling and healing. That’s only appropriate, because we can’t heal what we haven’t felt and acknowledged. We have a New Moon this week, but this might be one of the New Moons I get the least excited about. Mercury will go direct also, huzzah! Let’s dig in.

The week starts out with some healing offerings I mentioned in last week’s scopes. Chiron and Chariklo are both active and available to heal wounds and repair necessary boundaries. We are in Virgo energy, and Virgo energy is quite good at boundaries, whereas her opposite, Pisces, has no boundaries, like a drop of water in a glass of water.

Virgo is the goddess who knows who she is. She is grounded and understands what the changing seasons mean for her. She knows her tasks and her duties and she is devoted to them. At her best, she is selfless and perfect and devoted to nurturing others. But like any energy in the extreme, it makes us crave the opposite. Virgo’s uber organized, uptight, analytical, super clean ways of course make one crave a little messy, dirty, sexy chaos. She is Mother Mary, and she is Mother Nature. And if you’ve been watching the weather, you know that Mother Nature is no meek Mary!

So hold that thought.

Mid week, Pallas and Vesta both change signs. Pallas Athena is the goddess of war and strategy, but she’s moving into peace-loving Libra where she will attempt to bargain a truce. Good goddess, Athena…louder for the patriarchy in the back!! Vesta is the archetype of the Vestal Virgins, and another iteration of the Virgo energy. She’s moving into nurturing Cancer…another Mother energy.

Thursday we have a New Moon in Virgo. So let’s get back to that bookmarked Mother energy.

Imagine being in a car, on a road trip to self discovery and healing. In the car with you are your Mom, your most triggering sibling or cousin, and your most critical friend. You have a lot of fun with these girls but, you’ve been in the car for hours and you’re feeling pretty pissy. You’re emotional and reactive and sensitive. “Where the heck are we going, Mom? Are we there yet? Omg Mommmm! Ew, Mom, gross! Ugh Mom, that’s lame. Omg stop dancing, someone might see you”

This Moon is trine Uranus and quincunx Eris, and a few hours later opposes Neptune and quincunxes the North Node. We are setting intentions for boundaries. We might feel triggered and anxious, but we are claiming confidence anyway. We feel emotionally reactive and hyper sensitive, but we are keeping our shit together to maintain the girl code. We are overcoming self repression to experience full expression. We are learning to recognize higher wisdom from impulsivity and ego soothing. We are both the mother and the child, the virgin and the whore. We are all the things that they say women are, and we are transmuting that shit into super power!

You’re excited but exhausted. Welcome to the Virgo Mother of a New Moon.


We have 4 months left in 2023 (not that that really matters) and we are about to enter eclipse season. We have 52 retrograde planets (ok 6 major and 8 if you count the minor planets), so we can harness that introspective energy to set intentions for the rest of this year. What do you want to “grow” over the next 4 months. How can you heal your inner virgin/whore? How can you stop giving a fuck what society and the patriarchy thinks of you? How can you be the goddess who knows who she is?

One of the things we can and probably should work on in this rather hushed and internalized New Moon energy is “The Mother”. How can you heal, forgive, release, embrace the mother inside of you and the mother who did or didn’t raise you? If this is a deep wound for you, baby steps. Maybe just acceptance for now. Every woman has a story and all of them are complicated. Even Virgo’s mythology is complex:

“Virgo personifies Persephone, daughter of Demeter, the harvest goddess. According to a Greek myth, it once was always springtime on Earth. But then the god of the underworld, Hades, kidnapped Persephone. Demeter, overcome with grief, abandoned her role as an Earth goddess.Thus, the world’s fruitfulness and fertility suffered. Then, according to the myth, Earth wouldn’t become fruitful again until Persephone returned home. So, Zeus insisted that Hades return Persephone to Demeter. Also, Zeus said that Persephone must eat nothing until her return. Alas, Hades purposely gave Persephone a pomegranate.

Thus, Persephone was given back to her mother, but Persephone – because of the pomegranate – has to return to the underworld for four months every year. To this day, spring returns to the Northern Hemisphere when Persephone reunites with Demeter. Then the winter season reigns when Persephone dwells in the underworld.” (earthsky.org)


Interesting side note: You know how apples seem to pepper mythology? Adam and Eve, Eris, Snow White, William Tell, Isaac Newton, Avalon and the Arthurian Legends, Loki and Idun in Norse Mythology, Zeus’ gift to Hera…and on and on… The Pomegranate was also called “desert apple” in some stories and cultures. “Apple” comes from the latin “Pomum” which really means any fruit. But nonetheless the apple has come to mean wisdom and beauty and love.

Your New Moon ritual could include an apple in a number of ways. You could simply place one on your altar, you could plant an apple or apple seeds, cut an apple in half and find the star pentacle where the seeds formed, make an apple brew or tea, or sip an apple cocktail. Write a letter to your mother, or to your children that you did or didn’t have. Spend a little time alone and know that just by being a woman, you are a mother, and a powerful force on this fucked up planet! We are all mothers, and we need to care for ourselves and each other much better.

This week's BitchScopes also address your IC in your natal chart, which informs the experience of your early life or childhood. It is at the bottom of your chart, opposite the MC or Midheaven. The IC can also illustrate some of the more painful aspects of childhood. Whatever we grow up with, we tend to strive toward and are drawn to the opposite in life. The IC is our private, inner life, the MC is our public life.


While your IC paints a picture of your childhood experience, your roots and ancestry, your natal moon tells you what you need to feel emotionally secure. Both of these are important in healing any wounds around mothering and motherhood.

I can’t know your moon sign without looking at your chart. So before you read your BitchScopes,  I would recommend you find your moon sign and incorporate  that info into your healing intentions

If you don't know your birth time, a Noon chart will give you a pretty damn good estimate.  My moon sign descriptions are below, and here is a link for finding your moon sign: 

https://horoscopes.astro-seek.com/astrology-big-three-online-calculator


Just for funsies: I wanted to test this theory so I pulled up some Aries rising celebs. Aries rising has Cancer at the IC, and while the IC is a personal, inner experience, we know a little bit about celebrities’ lives. Cancer IC are nests of kindness and emotional supportive childhoods, with a possibility of going overboard and being overbearing…

Kortney Kardashian & Reese Witherspoon are Aries rising and IC in Cancer. We all know Kris Jenner is the original Momager/Super Mom. Kortney is the oldest of the Kardashian sisters so her relationship with her mother is unique, and she tends to be concerned about her mother, as well as her own motherhood. She has a Cap moon (read that below) Reese also has a Capricorn moon (that was unintentional on my part!) and had a typical southern upbringing where kindness and manners and properness were strongly emphasized, and her mother was a Nurse with a PhD in Pediatric nursing…Um, hello Nurse-Mom!

I could get lost in these side trips. But anyway…


One final note. There are many who don’t know their mothers well, or at all for a variety of reasons, and that wound deserves the most healing of all. You have needed to mother yourself. Lean into your Natal Moon sign, as well as the collective Mother of all.


Your Natal Moon Information:

Aries: Mom was/is leader of the house. Brave, bold, competitive, athletic. She may have been overbearing or too dominant. An Aries moon often indicates childhood or mother related trauma.

Taurus: Your mom is/was comforting or a good provider; she may have expressed love through food and material comforts. Affectionate, but also very stubborn - her way or the highway!

Gemini: Mom was/is very expressive, intellectual, funny. But she may have been flighty, flakey, unavailable.

Cancer: your mom was/is devoted and nurturing and very emotionally understanding. She may have been too clingy and suffocating.
 
Leo: Mom is/was a large presence and was straightforward and expressive. Mom might be a popular or well known persona, concerned with her reputation. She also might be somewhat vain, proud and/or dramatic.

Virgo: Mother is/was very devoted and protective. And you feel protective of her as well. There is deep need between you, perhaps co-dependency. She may have been very critical of you.

Libra: Mom was pretty and fashionable and probably quite social. There are expected boundaries and structured relationship lines that shouldn’t be crossed. She is somewhat formal in her role-keeping.

Scorpio: This is a very deep relationship that has gone through many transformations. She may have been out of touch with your emotions due to feeling over-run by her own. You may have felt abandoned by her inability to understand you the way you desired.

Sagittarius: You’re freedom loving and if mom respected that, you had lots of fun together. But she may have held you back, restricted your movement in unfair ways.

Capricorn: Mom is/was serious and ambitious, as well as independent and self sacrificing. You were held to very high standards.

Aquarius: Mother is more a peer and a friend than a parent. She was not a natural authoritarian. You were taught to be self sufficient. She may have been emotionally distant or just plain weird.

Pisces: intuitive bond with your mother, extreme empathy between you. You may have had to be the caretaker and therefore like you couldn’t rely on her fully.

And Oh yeah...Mercury goes direct on Friday!!!

Read BitchScopes for your Rising Sign this week - they are available at Patreon.com/Houseofbleep. This week’s scopes focus on forgiving and healing the mother wound. Bear in mind that every sign has 2 sides: the light and the shadow, and most of us are some gray blend of the two. We are all very complex and not made up of just one sign or energy. So if these descriptions don’t fit your experience of your mother, that’s OK. Just tap into whatever that was and is and utilize it for healing. When you do this healing, you are not just healing yourself, you are healing your mother, your children, and women affected by far reaching ripples that you may never know.


Email me: kelly@thebitchwhisperer.me

Get a personal reading with me: 12Listen Call Scheduler

BitchScopes (horoscopes) by Sign available here: Patreon.com/houseofbleep

Podcasts:  Bitchstory    Bitchscopes    Bitchsplaining

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@bitchstrology





Sunday, September 3, 2023

Bitchstrology for the week of September 4-11 - "Shake it Off" (sorry I can't stop T. Swifting)




Well damn howdy if last week wasn’t an ass-kicker! Woo! It was seriously emotionally fraught for so many people i know! That was a major Full Moon event.  And I'm sorry if I inadvertently shamed you indirectly on social media, but I was legit shocked at how many people thought the Blue Moon was literally going to be colored blue. Nope. But it was pretty much a dick regardless of what color it looked like to you. It will bring about major shifts, and is already doing so...but it was EMO! 

As I type this we have 6 retrograde planets. But Sunday September 3rd Venus goes direct…hallefuckinlujah! Venus has been retrograde in Leo since July 22nd, stirring up issues around worth and joy and if we make ourselves too small, and making some of our relationships janky. Well she’s going to be moving ahead and on into Virgo eventually. And no sooner has she stationed direct that we get Jupiter stationing retrograde to take her place as planet #6.

 Jupiter will retrograde in Taurus, expanding our self worth from the inside. This is about personal growth. All that extroverted energy turns inward and we get to slow down, think about things, look before we leap. We may be less spontaneous during this time. But we are entering a period of the year anyway, when we can all benefit from taking a deep breath and eating a good bowl of soup! You could have some intellectual or philosophical breakthroughs during this introspective time as well.

The transits, in general, point to inner work, shadow work, and lots of opportunities for healing. There are some transits that speak to spiritual insights regarding path and purpose. And at the end of this week there’s an emphasis around your personal authority and boundaries. Try to consciously slow down every day. Slow the grind. Notice the details in your life. Stop rushing. Stop cramming your calendar so full.

Take this week to recover from the last couple. If you’re experiencing Mercury retrograde like I am, you’re probably fairly frustrated! Ease up on expectations for yourself and everything else right now. If you have a healing practice, lean into it. If you don’t, just pray or meditate about it. If you don’t know what to do, the best thing you can do is just slow down, be still, and let the Universe give you what you need. 
Virgo, where the Sun and Mercury currently are, is the sign of the healer. Even though Mercury is being a twatwaffle right now, we can channel our own healing with that energy facing inward like it currently is.

Aaaand, the energy around September 11th can be heavy for the collective. Let’s set an intention for a kind and peaceful week with an elevation of our shared consciousness. I need a Taylor Swift song for that...Hmmm. Maybe "You need to calm down".  or "Delicate".  
What would you pick? 
Here's the Taylor Swift Eras playlist: 




Get a personal reading with me: 12Listen Call Scheduler

BitchScopes (horoscopes) by Sign available here: Patreon.com/houseofbleep

Podcasts:  Bitchstory    Bitchscopes    Bitchsplaining


Sunday, August 27, 2023

Bitchstrology for that big ol' Blue Full Moon in Pisces August 30, 2023



Woo! Guys, I’m just gonna get right into it because this week is very powerful!

Oh hi, how are you? Mmmm, good. Ok great.

Ok so anyway. Big, powerful breakthroughs this week, Bitch! Here’s the quick n dirty - 

Venus is going direct, Uranus is going retrograde, there’s a Full Blue Moon, and Jupiter is going retrograde!

We have a lot of Earth energy, which can make us feel stuck, stubborn, and a bit too worried about details. Venus going direct will help by giving us some needed fire. But we are still a bit unbalanced in the earth energy.

“Oh but that Full Pisces Moon, Kelly…what about that, ya dumb Bitch?”
 
Oh. MmmHmmm. So we have a bunch of stiff ass Taurus earth. And then we're gonna add a torrential downpour of Pisces. You know what that sounds like? A mudslide. And if I expound upon that metaphor, we have intense emotions AND worry, running amok, knocking down trees and old ladies and mailboxes…it’s not pretty.

What is almost completely lacking this week? AIR! Logic, reason, accountability, boundaries…

Oh, sweet, sweet boundaries. Saturn is retrograde in Pisces. Boundaries, boundaries, whereforeart thou, Boundaries?

We have no idea. Saturn and all decorum is drowning in Pisces! Politics has no boundaries and I think that’s self explanatory. Parents have no boundaries - they’re cracking eggs on their unsuspecting children’s head for fuck’s sake! Dating has no boundaries. AI has no boundaries. Hmmm…Sports might have some. Good job, Sports. Anyway…I’ve gone off roading. Let me get this vehicle back between the lines.


Monday - Uranus, planet of change and rebellion, retrogrades in Taurus, so we can reflect on how we have changed and see how we want to break free

Wednesday - There’s a Full Blue Moon in Pisces. This is the 2nd Full Moon in the month of August, hence the “blue”. This makes it supercharged. This moon is carrying the energy of BIG energetic and emotional release! Saturn retrograde in Pisces is only 3ish degrees away from this moon, either dissolving boundaries or enforcing them. Chiron is hanging out on Wednesday too, offering healing and with Mercury’s help, overcoming and healing blockages.

Friday is interesting because for one, Mars is quincunx Saturn, which can be frustrating. Ok its not interesting, its frustrating. But then…then there is the occultation of Neptune by the moon. The Moon occults, or obscures, Neptune. Neptune is the planet of dream, fantasy, illusion, intuition. If the moon, our emotional intelligence, is obscuring the illusion, then we must be facing the truth…yes?

Yes. So this is still related to that release of the Full Moon. It’s a doozy.

Saturday and Sunday we get some planetary vitamins. Saturday the Sun is quincunx Chariklo. Chariklo helps us have compassion and hold space for ourselves, and boy is that well timed! Thanks, girl!

Sunday Venus goes direct, thank goddess! The show resumes! Intermission is over! The house lights are flickering! Back to your seats! Places!

Also on Sunday Neptune is quincunx Lilith. This is personal growth! I have fewer exclamatory sentences for this one! That’s it! Personal Growth! That’s enough!

And that’s a wrap for this week! It’s a big one. It could be dramatic. It could be emotional. It could be intense. But you know what? It could also be beautiful. It could also be liberating. It could also be celebratory. It could also be revolutionary and/or revelatory! (Ooooh, word play. Look, there’s Air!)

We do actually need some Air energy. So in Bitchscopes I suggest how you can balance all this muddy mess with an air sign/house well aspected to to your sign. I also suggest what you might consider releasing in a full moon ceremony. For these ceremonies, write some things down on small pieces of paper. To release the energy, either burn the paper or put the paper in a small container of water. Or partially burn it and put it in the water. There aren’t rules in magic! Put the water/ashes/paper under the moonlight (with your crystals if you’re charging them). Before the Sun is fully up, toss your wish water out in your garden and bring in your crystals. Also, if you want to release something that isn’t mentioned in your horoscope…do it!

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