Re-Feminist History (aka Bitchstory)

Woo! Guys, I’m just gonna get right into it because this week is very powerful! Oh hi, how are you? Mmmm, good. Ok great. Ok so anyway. Big, powerful breakthroughs this week, Bitch! Here’s the quick n dirty -  Venus is going direct, Uranus is going retrograde, there’s a Full Blue Moon, and Jupiter is going retrograde! We have a lot of Earth energy, which can make us feel stuck, stubborn, and a bit too worried about details. Venus going direct will help by giving us some needed fire. But we are still a bit unbalanced in the earth energy. “Oh but that Full Pisces Moon, Kelly…what about that, ya dumb Bitch?”   Oh. MmmHmmm. So we have a bunch of stiff ass Taurus earth. And then we're gonna add a torrential downpour of Pisces. You know what that sounds like? A mudslide . And if I expound upon that metaphor, we have intense emotions AND worry, running amok, knocking down trees and old ladies and mailboxes…it’s not pretty. What is almost completely lacking this week? AIR! Log...

Hey Bitches!  This planet is insane. I’m in the path of Hurricane Hilary and I’m inland in central California! I’ll be fine, but as I type this we are putting batteries in everything. It should be just a storm by the time it gets to me, but I hope my friends in So Cal will be ok.  There’s so much earth trauma right now.  Maui.  Wildfires all over Canada.  A hurricane in California?! There are wildfires in the Canary Islands in Spain…(Spain has been hot AF and drought-stricken for a couple years).  One can only hope that this is Mother Nature giving us a slap to pay attention to climate change and that the powers that be will finally get it!  Uranus in Taurus has some say in these crazy events. But…that’s not what we are talking about today.  This is a week of Mercury stationing retrograde! Moreover, the Sun and Mars both change signs, and Uranus stations retrograde.  Once Uranus stations retrograde, we will have 6 planets in retro.   Ju...

Well, there’s a lot that I could talk about this week. As we all know, I don’t usually struggle with things to talk about. But I am fixated and obsessed with this New Moon on Wednesday the 16th. I am calling it the Goddess New Moon! But first I will focus and go in order and then I will get excited and flap my arms around. Ok. I can do this. Monday - Venus trines Chiron which gives an opportunity for healing your self worth. The whole country needs that right now. Can we put that in the water supply? No. Ok then moving on… Tuesday the Sun Squares Uranus. You might feel anxious tension or a feeling of restlessness or impending change. If you are a fixed sign, “change” feels like “doom”. But it isn’t, so call a mutable sign and calm your tits. Wednesday Mercury is quincunx Chiron, so you might feel insecure about your message, or have a mental block that is related to a wound. Here’s an example: One time in High School I was trying to write about the loss of a young family member for ...

Please consider Supporting my work:   Patreon.com/Houseofbleep (at the $5 & $10/mo levels you get weekly BitchScopes) Anchor.fm/bitchstory (click the support button)  Anchor.fm/BitchScopes (subscribe to BitchScopes audio) Questions and contact: Kelly@thebitchwhisperer.me Website: thebitchwhisperer.me IG: @kellymcbitch & @bitchstory.pod And now, without adieu…the scoop! Hello Glitteratti! Welcome to another week of fun times on Earth! Let’s see what color we need to paint our nails* to deal with humaning this week!  The week starts and ends with some excellent Venus vibes, so maybe Barbie pink is the manicure color of the week, eh? But in the middle we have some emotional...dryness. Yes that's what we'll call it.  How can moisten our emotional life? (haha I know everyone hates the word "moist"). Let’s dig in… Monday Venus is conjunct Lilith! This is SO GOOD.  The best word I have for this is “Unbridled”.  Our sexuality, our rage, our love for ourse...

Astrological Summary of the Week Ahead Ok Band of Bitches…hey, maybe I should collectively refer to y’all as BOB. Oh wait, that’s a slang term for a vibrator. Nevermind. CUT! ahem... Hey Bitches! We have a great week ahead! W e have 2 Full Moons in August, bookending the month. The first of them is this Tuesday, in Aquarius, and will illuminate our healing process. We are also in the Lion’s Gate portal right now. And Mercury will enter his shadow phase this week. WTF does all of that mean? Well I’m glad you asked! Monday the moon conjuncts Pluto which can lead to some intense emotions. That aspect is still active on Tuesday, influencing the Full Moon. That seems apropos, because Tuesday we start out with Mercury quincunx the Moon . This is an indicator that emotions will rule, not logic. But that intense emotional energy breaks up and a few hours later we have the Full Moon in Aquarius at 11:32AM Pacific / 2:32PM Eastern. This is the Moon in Aquarius, directly opposite the Sun in ...

Hey Bitches! If my ability to write scopes is any indication of the coming week’s energy, it might be challenging to get anything done. Maybe it’s an empath thing, maybe it’s Maybelline…err, I mean, just me. This week is colored in large part by Pluto’s repeated square to the Lunar nodes , Mercury’s interaction with the goddesses, and Venus, in general. So let’s see what I can uncover, with great force and focus and grit and determination….hahaha Monday Venus trines the North Node, which is a fantastic way to start the week. Sidenote: I got some minor shade recently for not starting my horoscope week on a Sunday. Really? Monday is such an American way. What are your thoughts? Anyway, Venus…North Node…this transit attracts overall goodness into our path. Hal-le-fuckin’-lu-jah! Tuesday Pluto squares off with the lunar nodes. Pluto has done this at least one other time this month, which I may not have focused on, and will continue to into September. So let’s discuss what Pluto is… P...

This week starts with a bang and ends with a retrograde! Let’s get into this… So as I mentioned and focused on last week, Monday there’s a New Moon in Cancer AND then the nodes of the moon shift from Taurus/Scorpio to Aries/Libra. This shift touches everyone and everything and will color the mood board of humanity for the next couple years. It’s a beautiful gift of synchronicity that we have a New Moon (side note: Last week I intentionally did not capitalize “new moon”. This week I am. WTF. Is it a proper noun? I don’t know!! *pause for Googling*. Yes, proper noun. Apologies to the moon for not capitalizing it last week. Moving on…) um…where was I? Oh, I love that we get a New Moon right as this nodal shift happens. We get so many opportunities for resets every year, every week, and truly, every day. I personally suck at the every day kind. But I LOVE a NEW MOOOOON (all the caps!). Read last week's scopes to get the whole story on how the new moon affects you. So we start th...