Thoughts of bread and badassness

BitchScopes for November 23-30


(Note: generally Bitchscopes are for a Monday through Sunday period. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse is on Monday the 30th, and it is included in this week’s so you can fully utilize and be aware of its offerings and energy.)

Mercury is a busy bee this week. With the sun now in Sagittarius, you’d be well served to direct your thoughts to your beliefs. Specifically, what do you believe about your self? One of the benefits of knowing what is coming up astrologically is the ability to utilize that energy to your highest benefit, so here you go. Spend time thinking and writing about what you believe about yourself. What do you want? Do you even know? Strip away the thoughts and beliefs of all the people around you and get to the heart of it...what do YOU want? Out of life? Out of relationship? Out of a job? Out of parenthood? Out of your food? Whatever!

That’s exactly what this Full Moon Lunar Eclipse can help you uncover and achieve: alignment with your heart and your purpose. Generally a lunar eclipse creates more of an emotional experience, whereas a solar eclipse manifests as something in the real world. In this full moon lunar eclipse, your emotions will likely feel jittery. Venus opposite Uranus, Moon quincunx Venus, and Sun quincunx Uranus all color the energy of this eclipse, so be careful with your money and with your love. You are likely to feel nervous, like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Despite your possibly nervous and irritable disposition, use your words carefully. Today, words are powerful, so choose them wisely! Don’t stray from committed relationships during this time, because this secret will not keep.

There is a method to the madness, though. An alignment between your mind, body, and heart is trying to occur. You’re jittery because your thoughts are not in alignment. Lead with your heart, and your body will follow. Your thoughts may stubbornly fall in line last. Meditation may be difficult for some, although if successful could be very helpful in speeding this energy along. If you can’t meditate, WRITE. Write to yourself. Brain barf it out on to paper. What within you is standing in your heart’s way to progress?

Much of this year’s bullshit and angst has shown us this already. What is really important? What is worth fighting for and about? Now it is time to turn the energy inward and use it to catapult you into 2021 as your most empowered self. Sagittarius is a truth teller, no holds barred, no bullshit. Be that way with yourself when you write about your dreams and desires and ideas. Get the thoughts out of your head and work on it like bread dough. Get it just how it feels right and then but those new, more aligned thoughts back into the oven of your brain to just sit, rest, and proof. Sometime in the spring of 2021 you will take that dough out and see it all puffed up and ready to work!

I’m hungry now. Where is my crusty bread??

Anyway, work on you. Do it for you. Love you.


11/23 – Mercury trine Neptune - creativity, sensitivity, spirituality

11/25 - Mercury quincunx North Node your ideas and ideals may clash with the norm. You CAN get there from here, even if “here” is “weird”

11/27 – Mercury sextile Pluto - depth and intensity to conversations and thoughts

11/27 – Venus opposite Uranus - surprises in your love life, and sometimes your bank account

11/27 Mercury quincunx Eris - your mind may be working overtime to sabotage you. Slow down and lighten up. Get other people’s negative voices out of your head.

11/28 – Neptune direct (began retrograde in June) During retrograde, Neptune says be cautious about an unchecked imagination. Now we will have better intuition and discernment.

11/28 – Mercury sextile Jupiter - optimistic thinking, future planning

11/29 – Sun quincunx Uranus - nervous energy, trying to anticipate an “unexpected” something, boredom

11/30 Mercury sextile Saturn - clear thinking, organization, and a great get er done energy

11/30 Full Moon in Gemini / Lunar Eclipse

Relax, this isn’t one of the giant doozies. But it is a supercharged full moon because of the (penumbral) eclipse. There will be internal revelations and epiphanies, probably unexpected because of Uranus’ influence. Those thoughts could be shadowy because of the influence of Saturn on Mercury. Watch what you say, words are powerful.




ARIES - You’d be well served to be aware of possibly opportunities coming down the pike toward you. There is strong indication of a great financial period for you in the next several months. You won’t be flying solo. There is a partner in this scenario. When you do your releasing and manifesting work, focus on letting go of distrust, and being open to possibilities. There is an expansion in the works!

TAURUS - If you find yourself feeling sad, burdened, and depressed or uninspired, consider the possibility of something as simple as needing sunshine. If you live in the snow, then get creative and do some color therapy with yellow glasses or light bulbs. Sit near a window or on your patio. Light a fire, light some candles. Laughter from almost any source will also help warm the cockles of your deflated heart. That could come in the form of a friend who is like sunshine, or from good ol’ comedy on Netflix.

GEMINI - If you are feeling meh about your abilities, or just generally like your confidence is in the shitter, utilize this moon in your sign to its fullest potential. Get your thoughts trained to serve you. Release your dependency on others for encouragement and validation. Do a moon ceremony and soak up some of those moon rays. Light a fire and let it burn away your self doubt (which you could write on paper and then burn). Get on with your badass self!

CANCER - You, too, may be feeling the darkness of winter and the dread of isolated holidays setting in. Beware of the pity party that your ego wants to throw for you. And try not to dig your heels in and further isolate, alienate or ostracize yourself from people. It may be time for you to take a break from service you do for others, even if just for a few days, and serve yourself. Resentment does not pair well with turkey, or with anything.

LEO - Where are you putting in the most effort in your life these days? Is that truly where you want to see the most growth? You may need to shift your gears a bit. Are you spread too thin? Jack of all trades but master of none? Consider a little education in an area you already are familiar with. Deepening your speciality will show big rewards in the coming months. Just be sure that where you are going deeper is where your really want things to grow...

VIRGO - Oooo gurl. What is the new project you are cookin up? Whether you are aware of it or not, this is the foundation for something bigger in the future. All signs point to an awesome period of abundance, very likely from this new project. You may not have done anything but think about this project, but this is your signal to do something...anything. Take a step in the general direction and life will meet you there. It will be worth the “risk”.

LIBRA - You may have been “asked” to step into a role of bigger responsibility (or it may be coming). Try to set aside any feelings of resentment about this. While you may find the word “dependable” to be a bit boring, it is one of your traits, and one you should be proud of. Trust is the word that comes up here. You are trusted, and you can trust in the process. Because life will reward you for this task.

SCORPIO - Is there something trying to transform in your life that you are clinging to with bloody finger tips? You generally aren’t afraid of change. But there is fear around losing control of this issue. Let go. Really let go. Something better is coming. Endings and beginnings exist within the same processes. In the moment that something dies, something else is created simultaneously. You’re holding yourself back.

SAGITTARIUS - You know what you should do this week? Any thing you fucking want to do. For real. I know the world is always telling you that you’re too this and too that and unrealistic and lost in your dreams etc. Well this week, screw that. You do you. I’m not even going to put any modifying statements in there. Whatever it is, you need it right now. The full moon is significant for you this week as well. Do some writing leading up to the full moon and do a ceremony for...whatever the hell you want!

CAPRICORN - Use this week to get in touch with your fears. They are alway there, right under the surface. Talk to them this week. What purpose are they serving? Have they expired? Let’s clean out the fear freezer. Use the full moon to release unnecessary fears and help you lean into being slightly less realistic and pragmatic all the time.

AQUARIUS - They, whoever “they” are, say that the best predictor of the future is the past. But let’s just play with the assumption that “they” may not be right all the time. What if you allowed yourself to feel hopelessly romantic and optimistic. What if you revisit the concept of forgiveness? You certainly can hold a grudge. Maybe under this full moon, open your grudge book and pick one to let go. And then let yourself believe that magical things really can happen to YOU. Then take a nap. Really. “They” say its good for you.



PISCES - Past trauma and trust issues may be nagging at you or your relationship around this time. Full moons provide illumination. And in this case, it is likely to be something within you, a realization. It is critical that you communicate your feelings about whatever is coming up. If trust is the issue, maybe you really don’t trust yourself. Self sabotage? Its time to let that go! To experience love, you must first give it to yourself. Then you have to stick around long enough to receive it back.

Have the Courage to Hope

The outer planets are a bit calmer this week, but the personal planets might get us in a little trouble if we aren’t careful. Mars has just moved direct (last weekend on the 14th) so it isn’t moving full speed yet, and things we have bottled up or not been able to find the words for may come flying out at the wrong time. Personal relationships can intensify, both in good and bad ways. Jealousy may pop up. A little jealousy is not a bad thing...you’ll know when the threshold has been crossed. It may feel like relationships are more work than usual. We may feel a bit put upon in general, like life is all work and no play. The good news is that hard work will yield results, and we will feel more optimistic about working to achieve goals now than we have in a while. However...optimism may not find its partner, motivation, ready to actually DO much work. You may have to push yourself a bit. Watch that you have a filter between your brain and your mouth. And keep your feelings of jealousy in check.

Note: I wrote the above before I wrote the individual scopes. These scopes all had a theme of achieving your dreams, holding on to hope, and following joy. We are in the home stretch of...something. We are tired, and it is easy to get distracted by negative thoughts. If you’re in a difficult time, have faith that change is coming. It really is!  These scopes didn't just come out of my head.  I pulled a card for each sign and the pattern emerged on its own! The message is very clear in all of the scopes...follow your heart!

11/16 Venus opposed Eris - jealousy, particularly of other women, competitiveness

11/16 Venus square Jupiter - optimism and friendliness. But we may over do things in love or money. Watch your boundaries and standards and don’t over indulge.

11/17 Jupiter square Eris - drive to overcome, strong desire to be seen

11/17 Mercury opposite Uranus - time and thoughts move faster than usual; brilliant insights possible

11/19 Sun sextile Saturn - the aspect of hard work and perserverance

11/19 Venus square Saturn - obstacles in relationships; more brakes than gas

11/21 Venus enters Scorpio - collectively our passion increases towards our close relationships, jealousy also becomes more prominent

11/21 Sun enters Sagittarius - our sense of optimism is bolstered, goals feel attainable, spirituality and religion become more interesting to us

11/22 Mercury quincunx Mars - your mouth may move too fast; foot in mouth syndrome

ARIES - You can be free of whatever it is you feel is holding you down or back. The decision to liberate yourself from whatever this is requires a somewhat courageous decision, but you can do it! This may not be something external like a crappy job (or it might be), but could be something you’ve agreed to on a spiritual level that you have felt obligated to or trapped by. Whether it is internal or external, or just an emotion you feel enslaved by, you can choose something different.

TAURUS - Regret is a waste of energy. Sure, the choices you’ve made have brought you to your current place, but there is also something bigger at play here. When we go off our path and screw things up, God/Goddess/Universe will always guide us back to the road we should be on. We always have the choice to avoid that guidance, but chances are good that you’ve been listening. The place you are in now is a transition from off-road to on-road. Don’t look back, look ahead.

GEMINI - Be open to the romance in life. Not just the smoochy kind, but the romance that speaks to what COULD be rather than what is. Life will serve up a slice of something delicious to you soon. It will make your heart flutter with possibilities. Sometimes really wonderful things really DO happen, and its ok to accept them at face value when they do. Go ahead and let life sweep you off your feet.

CANCER - Embrace the childlike joy around you whenever possible. Believe in impossible and unrealistic things. Laugh. Dance. Eat cookies for breakfast. If it is pleasant to do so, recall your childhood and let the memories bring a smile to your face. You may also be reconnected with someone from your childhood who may bring all of these things to the front of your mind. These sweet ideals are present to remind you not to be too serious all the time. You need a break.

LEO - Settle your inner lion down a bit and scratch the belly of your inner kitten. It’s ok to slow down and just be. If you’re feeling stuck, take this as a sign that it is time to go within and let answers come to you, rather than you feeling like you have to chase the answers down. Let your intuition lead you to a breakthrough in its own time. Any resistance you’re encountering in yourself is actually just fear. What are you afraid of? Face it and grow stronger.

VIRGO - Despite all your practicality and planning and perfection, there’s still a nagging need within you. Take a leap of faith! Follow what brings you joy, even if it is just a hobby or if it seems silly. It is the medicine you need right now. Stop adulting, figuring, planning, serving and anticipating for a little bit, every day, and just allow yourself space to enjoy the little things in life. Not everything has to have a purpose (but even the things that don’t seem to have purpose really DO!)

LIBRA - The road may be a little bumpy right now, but a freshly paved freeway is up ahead. Be open to a detour in order to get there. Or you may be on the detour already and questioning the choice to take this “road less traveled”, because it seems to be a little too wild. Be open to a little adventure or the scenic route and enjoy the surroundings until you arrive at your desired destination. You’re safe. Trust the process.

SCORPIO - Stop and take stock of the current situation and consider the possibility of having a partner in this endeavor. You find it difficult to depend on others, but if you can remain open to possibilities you can’t yet see, just the right person can and will show up for you. This need not be a loss of power or a sharing of the wealth, even. But a support person could do a lot to ease your burden. This all sounds rather business-y, but it could relate to the need for spiritual counsel as well.

SAGITTARIUS - You may receive criticism for your idealism and “pie in the sky” (what a weird phrase) mentality, but in the coming weeks, it will serve you well. There are things happening behind the scenes right now that are going to help you accomplish something you’ve been hoping for. Don’t censor yourself and your “whacky” ideas. Follow your heart.

CAPRICORN - You really are much closer to your goal than you believe. Your determination may sometimes be disguised as plain ol’ stubbornness, but that inner drive is going to get you where you truly want to be. Not just where you need to be, but where you want to be (which is the same!). Others may judge your need for acknowledgement, and that’s ok...let them judge. The fact is, you will be successful in whatever you’re endeavoring currently...because you’re you!

AQUARIUS - The time is coming for you to make a decision. In this time leading up to that fork in the road, get really clear on what you want. Not what you think you’re supposed to want, but what you really want. Don’t judge it, just feel it. What will it feel like when you have that? If you can’t feel it, it isn’t meant for you. But if you’re clear about your real, true desire for your life, when this choice shows up, you’ll recognize it as the right choice. Until then, your job is the detox your mind from all the shoulds that are clouding your feelings.

PISCES - What do you love doing? You’re about to enter a time of personal growth and professional satisfaction. Next year will be a time of fulfillment for you. So whatever you’re doing now in the way of manifesting and holding space for that...keep doing it. Keep your eyes on the prize and don’t get distracted by things that don’t feed your soul. Even if it feels impractical or like you’re being irresponsible, stay on the path that brings you joy.

What do you really want? And how will you get it?

Holy Cosmos, Batwoman! There is a lot going on in the skies this week! Wow! This week is a big, shiny invitation to really do some self examination as it pertains to our goals, dreams, values, and even our destiny. We are in Scorpio season, so everything gets a little deeper, and sometimes darker. Our shadows are asking to be seen right now, and by acknowledging this part of yourself, you can empower yourself a great deal. This week feels so much like a hard core therapy session to me.

First, there is relationship tension. We are feeling sensitive and dreamy and desiring deeper connection with the people and the world around us. But in response to our reaching out, Life says “Is this what you really want? If so, why?” And Life won’t let us off the hook without a real answer. What are your values? Are they serving your path to progress? What about your partnerships and relationships? Are they a help or a hindrance? And what are you to their path? What parts of yourself have you shoved in the closet because they felt unacceptable? Well guess what...Scorpio loves closets!

If you do the work of really tuning in and listening to your soul this week, the new moon at the end of the week can be harnessed in a really fantastic way to bring about significant change, transformation, alchemy, and miracles. Your intuition is hot right now, so tap in to it!







11/9 – Venus opposite Mars - can create tension, but not necessarily in a negative way. It rather depends on how you react to things.

11/10 – Sun trine Neptune - heightened sensitivity and compassion

11/10 Mercury enters Scorpio - deep & sincere thoughts and emotions, sometimes brashness in communication.


11/11 Venus quincunx Neptune - unrequited love, or unrealistic expectations based on values


11/11 Sun quincunx North Node - do your core values line up with your goals?


11/12 – Jupiter conjunct Pluto - Personally, this gives you the drive and focus to succeed and take power in your life. Globally, we may know by now this plays out very “bigly”. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. This is the third Jupiter-Pluto conjunction, this year. We had this conjunction on 4/5 and 6/30. This may precipitate another spike in the pandemic. But this challenges us on all levels to overcome obstacles.

11/13 – Mars direct - forward momentum in personal and global issues. We may be able to feel a better sense of direction now and be better able to make decsions

11/13 Venus trine North Node - follow your desires, they exist to lead you toward something.



11/14 New Moon in SCORPIO 09:07 pm PST - major manifesting, change, and transformation. Tap into your deeper self, your intuition, even your ancestry, to determine how to utilize this new moon for manifesting a path forward


11/14 Sun sextile Pluto - need to succeed

11/14 Sun sextile Jupiter - optimism and good luck

11/15 Venus square Pluto - simmering tension can surface in relationships, power struggles, jealosy, possessiveness.

11/15 Sun inconjunct Eris - where have you buried or suppressed a part of yourself you felt was unlovable or unacceptable, and how might you be sabotaging yourself by remaining unhealed?


ARIES - You are being called out. You should not be “behind the scenes” anymore. Your calling is to be the beacon on the hill, a lighthouse. However, not everyone can handle confronting their own shadow, so you may lose some people. This is not a sign of things falling apart, but of things falling together. Don't dim your light to make others more comfortable.


TAURUS - When you realize how badass you are, you will attract your equal. Your love for your self will help you be able to love others, and to overcome any jealousy or bitterness that may be brewing. The elevation of your vibe will change everything for the better. Do the deep, hard work using this weeks energy.


GEMINI - There is always more to learn. Even masters can expand their knowledge. Your path forward includes mastery of a skill you may already have. While you love knowledge, you may resist this task a bit. But trust the process, this will benefit you in a big way.


CANCER - You may notice some synchronicities and “coincidences” this week and in the near future. Pay close attention to how this puzzle falls into place...it’s a huge clue about something as grandiose as destiny. Things you’ve been working on will start to come together quickly and something that has eluded you will emerge from the shadows.


LEO - If things seem to go quiet, don’t let it shake you. Step into the lull and let loose with your manifesting power. Adjust your vision according to your instincts...dream bigger, or drill down and get the details dialed in. You will always land on your feet.


VIRGO - Under the energy of this week, don’t let your innate sense of practicality box you in. The possibilities are infinite. Let your imagination run wild and tell your rational mind to shush. It’s actually important that you visualize things you don’t see as currently possible in your life.


LIBRA - Everything you have worked for, including the obstacles you’ve overcome, are a part of your victory tapestry. A personal victory is coming. Don’t let discouragement take over now… things will pick up speed and you’ll be on your way. But take your lessons with you- they’re important


SCORPIO - You have what you need to move ahead. This season empowers you with a deep knowing. Follow the tug of passion, interest, and desire… those will connect you to your purpose. You don’t need to become or obtain anything else. You’re just waiting for the lightbulb to come on.


SAGITTARIUS - There are a lot of changes coming down the pike for you. You may have moments of feeling overwhelmed or like you’re juggling while tap dancing. Truthfully you can stand still and let it all fall and it won’t screw anything up. You can’t miss what’s meant for you.


CAPRICORN - When something you expected doesn’t come through this week, count your blessings. There was a shift and things realigned to your benefit. If there is a friend or colleague involved in this news, don’t shoot the messenger. What will finally come through will be better than you expected.


AQUARIUS - It is critical you be kinder to yourself than usual this week and in the near future. Be more gentle in how you speak to and about yourself. Give yourself a break. Your manifesting will be more successful if you infuse it with more self love than you think is necessary. Dote on yourself in a way that you’d hate from a lover.


PISCES- Stop. Look. Listen. The nagging questions you have are there for good reason. Look both ways before you cross the street, little chicken fish. A new route will appear when you realize that there’s more than one way to your goal. Just hit pause for a moment before marching ahead.

Thank you, Next.

It’s a little hard to give a clear description of this week’s overall energy. Mercury stations direct, which is awesome. But the day that a planet “stations” either direct or retrograde, it is basically still, and is often the most chaotic time of the retrograde. This of course falls on Election Day, because Goddess is really a comedian. There’s awkward energy afoot from Venus, Uranus, Mars and Saturn as well. It is probably a good week to practice social media distancing (I just made that up, as far as I’m concerned) and holding your tongue. Don’t assume to know the answer to anything until it is extremely clear. Week’s like this present us with an opportunity to focus on our own energy, and tune out anything else.

We are fresh off a powerful Taurus Full Moon, and its effects are still being felt. This is a  new beginning, as Samhain is the Celtic New Year. The harvest represents the culmination of lots of hard work. It is time now for gratitude for the abundance, and time to gather in with our dearest ones to eat, celebrate, winter, renew, and cuddle up. Whether you realize it or not, you have made tremendous progress this year. Take time to recognize it and begin setting intentions for your next trip around the Sun. 

One of the messages or themes that seemed to permeate this week's scopes is that of preparing for the next phase.  In some cases, this necessitates a little dose of tough love and truth so that we can truly progress.  Good teachers give 100% scores rarely, because if there is no room for improvement, there is no progress.  So take a look at your grades for this last cycle or period of time, (whatever you determine that period to be), and set intentions for improvement. 

11/3 Mercury direct - YAY! It will take a week or so for Mercury to get moving forward at full speed. And today may be very chaotic. This is compounded by the fact that Mercury is in a challenging square to Saturn. This can make us feel pessimistic and make communication difficult. We are used to that energy, right? I would not be at all surprised if the election process has to be escalated to the Courts. (FYI, Mars does not complete its time in Aries until January 7th, when it finally reaches 29 degrees!)

11/3 Venus quincunx Uranus - The need for change/excitement in your love life. You may want to kink things up with your partner in the bedroom. On the other than, you may feel somewhat disconnected from them. Don’t panic, this is a brief transit.

11/6 Mercury square Saturn - We had this same transit on 11/1. hard work and clear thinking, but hard to communicate it with others.

11/7 Sun quincunx Mars - Quincunxes always represent something that requires adjustment. It is an awkward pairing. In this case. There may feel like there is an imbalance between your identity and your desires. Like...a nun who wants to take Salsa dance classes. Once awareness is present, this can be utilized to help others.

ARIES - It is truly time for you to celebrate and share time with your tribe. Things should have settled down a bit within you and around you and it is time for calmness and pleasure and joy. Be open to friendships, new and old, and be aware that your presence facilitates connections for others to form new friendships too. Enjoy!

TAURUS - You may feel disconnected from your closest people and like things just are not clicking. Pull your energy back and use it for yourself right now. You have probably already poured a lot of yourself into this situation. If it is not progressing, then it is time to nurture yourself. This tension will pass, but it is important that you be very clear about what you really want.

GEMINI - This could be a very sensitive energy for you this week. You are feeling very creative and inspired and receiving a lot of intuitive information. But this can also make you feel somewhat vulnerable and tired. Put healthy boundaries up for your own energetic health and pace yourself as much as possible. Make a list of everything that is on your mind, even things that seem silly. Look at the list and let go of the things that you feel you can.

CANCER - You may be feeling somewhat defeated and depleted. At the very least you may feel dissatisfied. The work has been completed and it was fine, but you still are not pleased. One possibility is that you have held yourself to an unrealistic standard. Give yourself the credit that is due to you and allow yourself a moment to feel crappy. Then, get up and move on. This may have not gone the way you hoped but it wasn’t the failure you perceive it to be.

LEO - Keep yourself in check this week, BitchWhiskers. You may be over compensating and as a result, may overstep your boundaries or the boundaries of others. Don’t be too keen to prove yourself. Confidence is usually quiet. If the lack of recognition for something has you feeling crappy, keep in mind that everyone has had a hard time communicating lately. Do the work for yourself, not for the praise.

VIRGO - The planets this week may have you feeling a bit bitter and negative. Don’t let a petty or defeatist attitude sabotage you. Ask for help where it is required. This may require swallowing your pride. On the other hand if someone asks you for help, try to overcome the urge to be harsh or lecture them. A little humility can go a long way.

LIBRA - Everyone hates disappointment. You really, really hate it. The sky will not be falling down, or anything drastic or horrible. It just looks like things may not go the way you wanted, or in the timing you wanted. This is an opportunity for you to embrace hope and focus on growth. You will get there, so chin up.

SCORPIO - Accomplishments and completions can sometimes be bittersweet. You may be feeling nostalgic and a little bit of ennui regarding the changes and graduations in your personal life. This is a time for you to regenerate and gather your strength so you can move into the next phase with strength and confidence. Rest!

SAGITTARIUS - If you are experiencing tension in your personal relationships, try not to internalize it. Rather, take it as a sign that adjustments and a course correction are needed. Whatever tactic you are currently employing, switch it up. If you’ve been too tolerant, put your foot down. If you’ve been too rigid and harsh, try a more gentle approach. This period will not last too long.

CAPRICORN - Its time for you to pull back and do some quiet contemplation. This year has been particularly challenging and you’ve done a tremendous amount of work. The growth you want is coming. But right now it is time for you to rest. The soil has been prepared, now you must go deep and allow the things you’ve been manifesting to come to fruition.

AQUARIUS - Be in your integrity, keep your actions and behaviors above board and transparent as much as possible. This week and in the coming few weeks, do not rely to heavily on other people, even for professional services. Hold yourself accountable for wishful thinking or unrealistic expectations about how your life should proceed and then do the work yourself to get there. Don’t wait for a rescuer.

PISCES - Seclusion will serve you well right now, particularly if you are feeling disillusioned or bored. The winter season is the perfect time for you to cocoon and meditate on how you can be more open to receiving in the next cycle. What might you need to let go of to open up that channel further? Your resistance around this release is a key concept to ponder.

The Tea Spilling Rebellion

This week we could feel a bit triggered and quite sensitive. While there are some strong Libran influences for diplomacy and charm, there are plenty of ways for us to feel somewhat wounded this week.  The full moon is likely to make us all feel bajiggity, nervous, and vulnerable. Some of you may feel it in your physical body more than usual. 

It's a mixed bag of planetary influence this week. Mercury retrograde makes some both hard and soft aspects. We will be very alert and quick thinking, but communicating effectively to others will be a challenge.

Relationships are still a strong focus for us. We may be employing charm at every opportunity, but we may be doing it out of a need to feel more accepted.

Chiron is a little busier than normal this week too, hence the triggeryness. Generally there is just an air of insecurity.

But we’re not close to done yet. The big player this week is the Full Moon in Taurus on Halloween. This is our 2nd Full Moon in October, making this a blue moon. When this happens the call to release things is emphasized. So anything that you’re clinging to or that is clinging to you is likely to be challenged over the next couple weeks.

This moon is almost exactly conjunct Uranus, which makes this potentially disruptive. Full moons tend to illuminate information that was previously hidden or unknown, and with Uranus, there’s little chance of predicting it. Of course we instantly think of negative things, but sometimes the unexpected is a blessing (at least for someone). There is also the potential for revolutionary breakthroughs.

You know I love analogies...This lunation is like a little kid who ate way too much candy, refuses to go to bed, and throws a rebellious tantrum. Perhaps he feels like modeling his mom’s lingerie to the dinner guests. If you happen to watch KellyAnne Conway’s daughter, Claudia, on TikTok...you know what I’m talking about. Rebellion & the spilling of tea (that may benefit us, but certainly not her mom). Mars retrograde in Aries is only adding fuel to this fire. The information that is revealed may or may not be about us, but these revelations are always FOR us, even if they seem harsh. Release the things that you are too attached to and that may not allow you to see the big picture properly.


10/25 Sun conjunct Mercury Rx - mental alertness

10/27 Mercury enters Libra -   diplomatic and friendly.

10/27 Venus enters Libra - charm, negotiation, properness.

10/28 Sun quincunx Chiron -insecurity in general

10/29 Jupiter quincunx North Node -conflict between what you thought you believed and where life is pulling you (karma)

10/31 Sun opposite Uranus Rx - brings unexpected and exciting encounters, nervous energy

10/31 Full Moon in TAURUS 7:49AM PST - extremely powerful and very disruptive influence for the next two weeks.

11/1 Venus opposition Chiron - insecurity in relationships

11/1 Mercury Rx square Saturn-   hard work and clear thinking, but hard to communicate it with others.


Here’s this week’s scopes.


ARIES - Whatever it is you’re worrying about, try to stop. When we try to anticipate everything that could happen, we often end up blindsided anyway. Trust that things will work out FOR you. And don’t cut off your nose to spite your face in an attempt to “protect yourself”. Wait this out...it will work out for you!


TAURUS - This moon could have you in your feelins’. But if you operate thinking that the people closest to you know how you feel, you could create issues for yourself. If you’re experiencing some regret about something you said or didn’t say to someone you still care about, this is a good time to try to spell it out. Get very clear about what you want to say first.


GEMINI - If busy-ness is keeping you from focusing on some uncomfortable feelings, this full moon may not allow you any more excuses. Sooner or later you will have to face what you’re avoiding, emotionally. You might consider doing it on your own terms so the Universe doesn’t do it for you.


CANCER - I feel this moon could make your body feel a little worn out. If you’re feeling tired and just UGH in your fleshsuit these days, it will be OK. You really have already done most of what “has” to be done. So it is really OK to take a breather and give your body some rest. Really.


LEO - If I say the word “guilt” what immediately comes to mind? Take whatever that issue is and love yourself through it. The judgement you inflict on yourself (even though the guilt may have initially come from someone else) is way too harsh. It is time to forgive yourself or someone else and move ahead with love.


VIRGO - When you receive an unexpected gift, compliment, raise, etc in the next few weeks, don’t question it, or be suspicious, or try to deflect the affection coming to you. Take it, graciously, and realize that you’ve earned this!


LIBRA - Your charm is shining brightly this week, despite the general feeling of MEH in the world around you. Your charisma may not exactly get you what you are trying to get this week, but hey, the rest of us are enjoying you. So you do you. Don’t let anyone else’s darkness rain on your parade this week.


SCORPIO - Don’t be afraid of judgement that may come down the pike toward you this week. It isn’t as much about you as it may seem at first. It is more about the big picture and possibly other members on your team. If you start to feel sorry for yourself, remember you’re a badass bitch and keep on truckin. Whatever this is, it is a fleeting problem, despite appearances to the contrary.


SAGITTARIUS - If you find yourself feeling sorry for yourself this week, try doing the opposite of what you would normally do. Normally you would plunge headlong into deep philosophical explanations about the esoteric aspects of life. Instead, be fully in your body, loving and accepting even the parts of it that may fail you. Sometimes that is all that is needed.


CAPRICORN - If you didn’t have a person or thing to blame your dissatisfaction on, what then would you look to for change? Yes. ding ding ding! Yourself. You are in charge. You control so much more about your life than you’re realizing right now. You are not a victim, so quit acting like one.


AQUARIUS - The ghosts of narcissists past may visit you this week. Someone you care about who just can not seem to get over themselves may reappear in your life after an absence….a lovely, peaceful, non energy sucking absence. Be very aware of sharing any of your personal feelings with this person. They will retreat back into the woodwork.


PISCES - If you’re feeling physically wounded and somewhat weak this week, consider things that are not physical as culprits. (This is the exact opposite of what I received for Sagittarius... interesting!) Emotional and unseen energies can definitely affect your physical stamina. It is time for a good release and detox under this moon. And consider a couple days by yourself afterward to regenerate.

Boldly go where you have not gone before...

(Re: the title - I don't know how Star Trek has women itself into my mind so much. )

This week offers a much needed change of pace from recent weeks. The Libra new moon last week did its work and has realigned us and rebalanced us, even if we don't immediately recognize how.

There is a lot of relationship-oriented energy in the air this week, particularly as it relates to established relationships. But there are also some strong indicators for love, passion, and even commitment in newer relationships.

But be careful what you wish for. The true meaning of the word passion is suffering. It is a fire, and it will burn you. People often confuse passion for romance. So this week, when the flames of passion are licking at your feet, er….etc...be aware and be cautious. This energy is ripe for you to break old, unhealthy cycles in relationships of all kinds. Create something new that works for you, rather than the template that you’ve been given.

The season of Scorpio officially begins this week. The veil thins and we are more connected to things unseen, unknown, unaccepted, and underneath. Take your inner freak out for a walk and really ask yourself what makes you feel good in life.

Love has many faces and purposes in life. Allow yourself to fearlessly explore these faces and try some new ones on. As it relates to your life and your deep knowing, how would you define love differently than how you were taught to define it? 

10/19     Mars Rx square Jupiter - initiative and energy

10/19     Venus quincunx Mars Rx- sexual tension (can cause problems in weaker relationships), possible manipulation

10/19     Venus trine Jupiter - optimism and love

10/19     Mercury Rx opposite Uranus Rx- time and thinking are fast

10/21     Venus trine Pluto - intensity and passion in relationships

10/22     Mercury quincunx Chiron - integrating and acknowledging the deep information coming through for you

10/22     Sun enters Scorpio - deeper, more spiritual experiences in all aspects

10/22     Venus quincunx Eris - some confusion about roles within close relationships, feelings of being left out

10/24     Venus trine Saturn Rx - ideal energy for long term commitment in relationships

10/25     Sun conjunct Mercury Rx - strong mental energy and drive

10/25     Venus square North Node - reminds you that you are the only person who can truly fulfill you and achieve your higher purposes

Huzzah. 

PostScript: There was a definite theme in the individual scopes this week. Creation, chaos, facing fear, trusting the process, dreaming big, and bringing things up from the dark depths. Seems we are all doing much of the same thing in our own unique ways.


ARIES - Your inspiration is not limited by what is concrete and 3D. You have unlimited potential to create and succeed. You are not bound by “reality”, let alone practicality. And if you are questioning if you can really do this thing your heart has decided it wants, the answer is “Yes of course”. In truth, you have already done it.

TAURUS - Is life happening TO you, or FOR you? Your outlook determines so much of how you proceed and succeed. Are you limiting yourself based on past perceived failures? What if those failures were just test runs to eliminate things that don’t work. Did you give up too soon? Be bold, and let the Universe help you.

GEMINI - Do you feel at the mercy or circumstances? What is in front of you that has you quaking in your seasonal slippers, face it head on. Do the thing that scares you! Don’t wait for it to come to you like a feral cat or a timid bunny...go after it. But be a hunter and have a strategy, don’t just chase it.

CANCER - When you are a bright light, you will attract all kinds of people in need. You are not obligated to give your energy to everyone that shows up. Furthermore, don’t get in the habit of only giving all the time, learn to receive, take a compliment, accept help.

LEO - If you’re trying very, very hard to make something happen because you feel it will make you feel accomplished and satisfied and complete, you might be trying TOO hard. Back up, simplify, and bring something in to form, rather than trying to make it perfect before you even consider it. Progress over perfection. Just do it.

VIRGO - You are bringing something from obscurity into clarity, even if only for yourself. When things rise up out of the deep dark places within us, it can make us feel fearful. But fear will shut down the process. So trust that you brought this thing up for a reason and trust your higher self to use it.

LIBRA - Trust the process. If you try on a shoe and it doesn’t fit, do you feel inclined to mangle your foot to make it work? No, you (hopefully) try on a different shoe! Don’t deem yourself a failure because someone else’s template for your life isn’t fitting. Trust yourself and don’t abandon your authentic feelings.

SCORPIO - Wherever you find yourself judging yourself a failure, flip the script. Instead, you’ve succeeded in eliminating an option that doesn’t work for your vision. Release the burden of perfectionism and maintain course. Failure is a necessary obstacle on the path of achieving.

SAGITTARIUS - You may have recently completed something or released something, but where you expected to find satisfaction, there may be chaos. Chaos is a part of the creative process. As you look at the pieces, ask how they make you feel and determine if you keep them or toss them based on that. Stuff that makes you feel guilty...out! You don’t want that in your final recipe.

CAPRICORN - You are uniquely equipped to impose order to chaos and create something out of practically nothing. But you don’t have nothing, you have a lot of stuff that may seem mismatched at the moment. Don’t worry and create wrinkles about how the pieces of your plan fit together. Lay them out and let it come to you.

AQUARIUS - Do you reject people and connections out of a fear that they will not like you? So what if they don’t like you?! It’s not as though you are not used to not fitting in. Forget about opinions about you. Choose to consciously connect to people and energy that fits easily. The intimacy that will come from a tribe created this way is far deeper than what you’d get if you weren’t “picky”.

PISCES - If you’re finding yourself feeling a little dark these days, don’t panic. Within that darkness is so much potential. The darkness is where things grow. You’ve manifested something significant and it is gestating now. This can feel isolating and heavy, but it’s actually powerful and reaffirming.

Pack a change of clothes...

Lather, Rinse, Repeat, bitches. This week continues the tense and thick energy of the last few weeks (the whole year if we’re being honest). There are some pockets of hope and positive feelings, however. And the less cheery transits do give us ample opportunity to clear and release energetic waste. So really, 2020 is a bit like a really long bout of energetic diarrhea. We are getting rid of what’s making us ill (hopefully!). It’s shitty, it’s uncomfortable, we can’t really go out because we can’t trust a fart (plus everything is still mostly closed), and no one wants to come hang out with us. So just eat some toast and hydrate, babe. We will get through this and feel the sun and hug each other again...eventually.

10/12 Jupiter sextile Neptune Rx - harmony (yay)
10/12 Mercury sextile Venus - friendly, fun energy (yay)
10/13 Sun opposite Mars Rx - assertiveness (meh)
10/13 Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio - deep feelings resurfacing/revisiting (ugh)
10/14 Sun trine North Node - things line up to bring you closer to your calling (yay)
10/15 Sun square Pluto - issues with authority (ugh)
10/16 New Moon in Libra 12:30pm PST - finding balance in the struggle (meh)
10/18 Sun square Saturn Rx - heavy energy, pessimism (ugh)
10/18 Venus opposite Neptune Rx - relationship and finance issues (ugh)
10/18 Mars square Jupiter - energy and enthusiasm (yay)


This week’s main event is mercury retrograde...in Scorpio. All of 2020’s Mercury retrogrades have been in the water signs, and all of 2019’s mercury retrogrades were also in water signs (2019 summer Mercury Rx backed into Leo, but started and stopped in Cancer). Clearly the universe would like us to get in touch with our deeper feelings.

Feelings seem to be at the forefront of most major societies right now. Emotions have reached boiling point several times. In fact we seem to be in a state of strong simmering incessantly.

If you subscribe to the belief that you shouldn’t do anything during Mercury retrograde, well have fun Christmas shopping. We are not out of the shadow of Mercury Rx until November 19th. I do not personally find it necessary to avoid things during this period. Though you should enter into anything with a clear mind and not be impulsive. Double check your emails, don’t call your ex, and make sure all your ducks are in a row.

While Mercury is in retrograde motion it interacts with Saturn and Uranus. Uranus does rule technology and since we are all dependent on it for school and work now, that could cause some frustration. Uranus can also bring surprising news, and sudden insights, and nervous energy.

Tea and toast, darling. Tea and toast...

Also happening this week is the Libra New Moon. I love new moons normally, but this one on the 16th has some uncomfortable moments with Saturn, Pluto and Mars. Oh joy. We’re all so used to swimming in those energies now, our fingers are pruny. Here’s the breakdown: While the overall energy of this lunation is finding and reestablishing balance, there is obvious imbalance that comes to awareness. Are the energies of giving and receiving in your life equal-ish? This is a new cycle and a great time to set intentions for righting the scales. Also at play, however, are some definite tension points. The New Moon opposite Mars: willfullness, even aggression are likely. Also hostility and just general assholyness. Skip being passive aggressive and just be forthcoming about what you want. New Moon square Saturn makes getting what you want more difficult and brings frustration. You may feel criticized or put-upon. New Moon square Pluto is, of course, about power, control, and authority. Paranoia, fearfulness, and obsessiveness are not out of the question. And finally, Mars square Pluto joins this New Moon party for a dash of power struggle, domination, and maybe sabotage.

So, let’s recap. Moody, irritable, nervous, emotional, angry, frustrated...and gassy. Awesome. Here’s your individual scopes. These scopes seem to mostly reflect some things we have neglected or set aside and Mercury retrograde and the New Moon are giving you another opportunity to get things straightened out.


ARIES - You are even stronger than any of us knows. There is an inner force that makes you one of the most steadfast of partners when you are inspired. Whatever you are enduring or undertaking right now, know that you are supported by the Divine. Desires and experiences don’t come in to our lives by accident. You deserve love, and love will get you through the hard times.

TAURUS - Whatever aspect of yourself you are currently questioning, take a moment and flip the script. That thing that you think is your greatest weakness is also your super power. Even if it is a ridiculous thing, it is your green lantern. Normal is boring anyway. Be completely you and let your crazy beacon shine bright!

GEMINI - You are either in, or about to enter, a time when your sense of self love and pride for yourself are blossoming. You will soon feel so empowered about the issue you’ve been wavering on or struggling with. You will emerge from this period of time a new kind of badass as you have not been before!

CANCER - If you are questioning if your inspiration or goal is practical, stop that. Practicality is not how dreams come true. You may, if you have not already, receive a bolt of inspiration that lights you up and puts you on an unexpected path. Don’t question its weirdness, embrace its awesomeness!

LEO - You are in a portal of energy right now with access to creativity, money, and inspiration. The key to unlocking and holding on to this is gratitude. But if we are honest with ourselves, we have to be grateful even for the crappy things that have happened recently, because those storms have steered your ship to port. Your ship is coming in!

VIRGO - Don’t let anyone else tell you how to feel about you. You deserve happiness and you don’t have to work yourself to the bone to earn it from other people. Don’t wait around for someone else to validate you, love you, forgive you or tell you what you’re worth. You have to give those things to yourself. If you are beating yourself up about something, stop it. Forgive yourself and move ahead.

LIBRA - This is your week to manifest something you really want. Don’t expect it to show up the next day, but do expect it to show up. Belief is 9/10 of manifesting! Don’t put conditions and expectations on it and try to make it all practical and do-able. Let the Universe work out the details. Just offer up your desire. And Happy Birthday.

SCORPIO - There’s change coming. But right now you might be in the forest and not sure what those tall leafy things around you are. Rise above the confusion and know, with absolute confidence, that you can navigate any changes of direction that you are faced with. It is important that you train your thoughts to be optimistic right now as much as you can.

SAGITTARIUS - Your tribe is super important to you now. That heart connection you have with your close people is your lifeline. To that end, you have to be brave enough to be vulnerable, and strong enough to reveal your needs. Forget what you thought you wanted. Follow the energy that feels like “home”.

CAPRICORN - Your connection to the Earth is powerful this week. Spend some time in nature, in the dirt, around the trees, and let that energy soothe and guide you. You are being directed toward your life purpose more and more these days. But to hear that voice, you have to find quiet space. Nature will never interrupt…

AQUARIUS - Words are far more powerful than most people realize (except Gemini. They get it). And it is time for you to speak your unedited, unfiltered truth. In the process of carrying everyone else’s water, you often forget to take care of yourself and risk dying of thirst. So speak up! It doesn’t need to be harsh, it just needs to be sincere.

PISCES - You are your own knight in shining armor, your own savior, your own superhero. If you’ve been waiting for someone to do what they need to do to keep you, its time to ask yourself how long you’re willing to wait. Don’t be a Princess, be a Queen and lay down some expectations about how others treat you.

BitchScopes for the week of October 5th - Awkward

Well wasn’t last week just a hoot?

No. Last week was a shit show.💩 Both in the United States as a whole, and for most of us, personally. A number of people’s asses were illuminated by that Aries full moon, and you all know about the information that came out on that day as well (Trump being positive for Covid).

  This week the Sun and Mars both make strong aspects to other planets, increasing our drive and energy. But on the flip side of that, we might be feeling pretty flimsy and insecure behind the scenes. It's an awkward juxtaposition of being motivated AF and feeling vulnerable as well. Personal relationships could feel a smidge wonky this week too. But don’t be reactive and flip out. Any disconnects you feel are temporary.

Collectively, progress will start to happen, but very slowly. Saturn, Jupiter and Pluto have all turned direct and will begin moving forward. Mercury and Mars, while they definitely affect the collective, are a little more personal. We won’t see real change and progress until January.

Mercury will begin retrograde on 10/13, so I will talk more in depth about that next week.


10/7 Mercury opposite Uranus Rx - time seems to move quickly. You could feel nervous. Unexpected little annoyances may show up. 

10/8 Venus quincunx Chiron - insecurity, feeling vulnerable in relationships

10/9 Mars Rx square Pluto - Power struggles and confrontations (I would definitely expect this to play out in US politics this week)

10/10 Mars Rx sextile North Node - your drive and ambition toward your higher goals is increased

10/10 Venus trine Uranus Rx - unexpected events can revitalize your personal relationships

10/11 Sun square Jupiter - confidence and pride...keep yourself in check. 

10/11 Sun quincunx Neptune Rx - You may be trying to assert yourself in work or relationships only to feel a vague sense that something is changing or not quite clicking.


Here’s this week’s Scopes:


ARIES - You continue to benefit from Mars being pretty much unleashed in your sign. You are empowered more than ever to pursue your dreams. You have much support behind you to move ahead as Spirit inspires you. Manifest your heart out!


TAURUS - Pay attention to anything that feels synchronistic or coincidental this week. Anything that feels like a moment or stroke of luck is meant to get your attention and alert you to the fact that you are being assisted by Spirit. Listen to your gut and what you feel pulled toward. This week, Destiny is trying to talk to you.


GEMINI - Ring Ring. Hello? Hello. Higher Self Calling. You’re being invited to be more yourself. Follow that thread of energy that gets your fire burning. The more authentically YOU you are, the more empowered you will become. You have everything you need to take the next steps.


CANCER - This week you may need to use your intellect a bit more than your intuition. Logic and reason, truth and strategy...these are the tools in your toolbox this week. Follow your own inner authority over any external authority, and don’t give way your power in a moment of deep feeling.


LEO - Lean into your creative fire this week to find new connections. You and a small tribe can be very successful in co-creating something very impactful. Whatever your vision is, share it with some of your trusted spirit family and get to work on it!


VIRGO - Your current path is changing, and will continue to shift to align you to your highest good. Tap in to your inner wisdom and make choices that take you in a very different direction. This may sound terrifying, but it doesn’t need to be. You will feel liberated by choosing something different.


LIBRA- Surprises are afoot for you. Stay grounded and present while things unfold. It could simply be an epiphany that you have had, or a surprising opportunity that presents itself, somewhat upending the plans you already made. After some mild confusion, you’ll be in a better spot than you are now.


SCORPIO - Conflict may show up around you or within you this week. This doesn’t feel shattering. It does feel illuminating. Take note of how you react to situations and be willing to examine your motives based on what you notice. Choose integrity over self-righteousness


SAGITTARIUS - Whatever you are currently letting go of, keep doing it! This journey, while seemingly full of loss, it raising you to a new level of personal authenticity. By letting go of the things that distract you and unground you, you deepen your experience and allow new energy in.


CAPRICORN - Are you feeling disillusioned? (of course you are, you’re a Cap!) Good. Embrace that and allow the truth to come forward. If there’s something you’ve been in denial about, clarity will arrive and help you see things clearly, and with strength.


AQUARIUS - You are being invited, encouraged, nudged, etc. to experience a shift in perspective. If you have been a little too much in your flesh suit lately, you will feel much more drawn to connect to Spirit in the next several days (or weeks). This deeper connection is going to help you manifest what you’re working on much more quickly.


PISCES - You may find yourself examining your progress, your path ahead, and some choices that are before you now. If you want to scrap something and start over, this is your sign that its ok to do that! This is your life, and you get to co-create it. Be bold...you’re supported.

Hug it out, Bitch...BitchScopes for 9/28-10/4 -

9/28 Venus trine Mars - nice flow between masculine and feminine. Good aspect for relationships and affection

9/28 Saturn direct in Capricorn - we can find our path again and focus on what needs to be done. This comes with responsibility. But the internal anarchy of Saturn retrograde should quiet down and we won’t resent having to “adult” so much

9/29 Mars square Saturn - We had this transit in August, and we will have it again in January (but by then Mars will be direct so it will feel different). Mars square Saturn transit brings frustration and inhibition. Your desires are strong, and your responsibilities are stronger. The harder you push, the more you’ll meet resistance. Authority issues may come up around this time.

9/29 Sun opposite Chiron - confronting our wounds

10/1 Full Moon in Aries 2:06pm - This full moon is strongly influenced by Mars retrograde square Saturn. This indicates frustration and anger that has been building for at least one month.

10/2 Sun quincunx Uranus - nervous energy. Hard to settle down. You know...bajiggity

10/2 Venus enters Virgo - practicality with money and expression. Less spendy, less effusive.

10/3 Pluto quincunx North Node - a calling to your higher purpose (karmic lessons included at no extra charge)

10/3 Mars conjunct Eris - pretty heavy warrior energy. Mars would seek justice for the marginalized in our society. Mars retrograde might either internalize this or unhinge it...

10/4 Pluto turns direct - Whatever Pluto has discovered in the underworld, the dirty secrets of the powerful, will come up again for review

10/4 Mercury quincunx Chiron - You might feel more anxious than usual (looking at this whole week that might not be a surprise); Subtle changes in your personal world may feel more upsetting. This is a perfect storm for “foot in mouth disease” flare-ups too. Comment carefully…


There are 2 big planets stationing direct this week, which is great. Pluto and Saturn both resume forward motion. However these are slow movers and when a planet is stationing, its energy is the weakest and least predictable. So this could feel bajiggity for a good couple weeks. Oh Yay.

The good news is that now that these 2 are moving forward, more truth can be brought to light. While we are still experiencing a lot of Covid related crap, breakthroughs and progress are far more possible now.

Politics will get uglier. You don’t need an astrologer to tell you that. But it’s all hands on deck for the shit flinging now. The bright side of that is that seeing everyone’s cards on the table might be helpful. Maybe.

The Mars Saturn square returns again and it’s pissy. It has heavy influence on the Aries Full Moon. I wouldn’t expect a peaceful full moon this month. (If you work in an ER I would love to hear about your Full Moon weekend).

But wait, there’s more! If you call now (you are already on hold), you’ll also get to confront your personal and collective wounds, feel nervous and bajiggity, and want to fight with everyone even more than you have for the last few weeks! How exciting! All for the low, low special weekly value of FREE! That’s right, all this is FREE with your subscription to a lifetime Fleshsuit Membership!

Just hug a puppy, hug your spouse, hug your kid, hug yourself, hug your parent or sibling, hug a body pillow. Hug and drink something soothing.

Last Thursday on BitchSplaining, Katie Weaver and I did a show about 100 ways to feel better right now. This week might be a great time to bust out that list and do some of it. You can find it in the on demand section at 12Radio (here’s the link). We will be fine. We’re just having collective PMS right now.


Here’s your individual scopes:


ARIES: While you might feel tense because your ruler, Mars, is running around pissing off other planets, there’s also a good chance you could be feeling very in love these days. While it might feel awkward to do so, slowing down will help you get more done. “Downshift” does not mean “downfall” I know you like to run, but as Thoreau said: “It is a great art to saunter”.


TAURUS: Regret is a terrible color on you. Try to release regret for things that did not turn out the way you wanted. Try to learn from the process rather than stewing in bitterness. I mean, we know you love to stew, but...its bad for your skin. Avoid victim thinking and behavior as much as you can. If you can take ownership of things that went off course and embrace them as Divine intervention, you will make a lot of progress toward that goal you’re working on.


GEMINI: You really aren’t trapped by your busy schedule. It is entirely possible that you’ve created a sense of being very busy so you can avoid something else. You know what that something else is. This week would be a good time to confront that part of you that is afraid to make a choice. Are you afraid of failure, or are you afraid of success?


CANCER: You are exiting a situation, period of time, or phase of life that has been difficult. I feel this is probably romance related, but it could be other stuff. The past is behind you and while you can’t really forget it because it shaped you, you can just observe it without hating it. You deserve joy...choose it.


LEO: Well while I hate cliches and platitudes, oh hell maybe I’m kidding myself. I kinda love a cliche. Here’s yours. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. There’s a resistance to something in your life that is blocking a richer experience for you. If you’ve been trying to manifest something and wondering why it hasn’t arrived, consider that you may be putting some conditions on the Universe’s delivery. The bad parts you fear are not going to outweigh the good parts!


VIRGO: While the rest of the world is exercising their bitchface, you might find yourself very focused on a goal. If you aren’t already experiencing it, a period of more stability is coming for you even as I type this. What will help you get there is the ability to say NO to things that don’t contribute to that particular goal. For you, this might mean saying no to certain work. Work on your boundaries.


LIBRA: While you may feel very restless right now, try to be still and with yourself. If you’re resisting fear or sadness or anger, you’re setting yourself up to be a bitter bitch. Allow the feelings to come up and let them flow. Meditation could be very useful during this time to help you release and move through the emotions, or even transmute them and exchange them for more joy.


SCORPIO: Stick to your plan, be true to yourself, follow your gut. Don’t be tempted by other people’s advice when it comes to finance, investments, or career. Your gut will lead you to more success. You should still be practical and use your resources wisely. But don’t feel like you have to get in the box that everyone else is in.


SAGITTARIUS: You will have reason to celebrate something very soon. But here’s the thing: the thing you immediately thought of when you read that? That’s not it. Its a different surprise! How cool is that? Be sure to check in with your sense of gratitude, even before you receive the good news. Also, be forthright with your feelings - don’t assume people know how you feel.


CAPRICORN: Hi, its me with a cliche again: Your thoughts create your reality. So train your brain to expect great things. When you find yourself feeling negative, flip that script to the opposite situation and expect that. You might also be well served by saying less to, well, everyone, this week. No you need not take a vow of silence...you wish. But maybe back off of social media this week, or choose to not comment.


AQUARIUS: Your innate intelligence will serve you well right now (it always does, but moreso now). You are the sign of genius so flex your brain muscles this week. Not only will this distract you from fighting with people on social media or in protests, it will help detox you from some of the insecurity you’ve been feeling lately. Consider doing something creative to get your juices flowing.


PISCES: Hey you know that thing you’ve been worrying about? That thing you’ve been trying to figure out from every angle and planning for every nuanced outcome...yeah that thing. Stop it. Its time for you to connect to your angels, guides, higher self, and God/Goddess to get the answers that you need. The thing you’ve been fixated on will work out just fine. You’re missing something about the situation, so meditate and see what comes up.

99 ways to feel better right now!

 Katie Weaver and I came up with this list of ways to make yourself feel better right away! 

1. Listen to your favorite song from 5th grade
2. Wear some fancy clothes (even if just around the house)
3. Go for a walk
4. Cook one of your grandma’s recipes
5. Do your make up
6. Drink something warm
7. Learn a new language (even if just a few words)
8. Watch videos of babies laughing (at dogs)
9. Read a good book
10. Take a bath
11. Meditate
12. Brush your teeth
13. Eat chocolate
14. Hold a baby
15. Crystals (rose quartz and rhodolite, blue kyanite, larimar)
16. Research a day trip
17. Fresh flowers
18. Watch/listen to some stand up comedy (YouTube/Netflix Try Brian Regan & Jim Gaffigan - clean)
19. Listen to the sound of rain or running stream or ocean
20. Decorate something: a cupcake, a room, a scrapbook
21. Rearrange your furniture
22. Hug a tree (heart on tree)
23. Put on lotion
24. Talk to an old friend or an older relative
25. Smudge yourself/your space
26. Verbal clearings/affirmations
27. A cup of tea
28. Look for feathers
29. View art
30. Take a drive
31. Diffuse or wear bergamot essential oils
32. Pay for someone else’s drinks at the coffee shop
33. Open a window
34. Bake something
35. Paint a wall or piece of furniture
36. Get your feelings out (try a sad movie to get your sadness moving. Journal if you’re angry then burn the paper)
37. Windchimes
38. Citrus Fruits (eat em, smell em, juggle em?)
39. Exfoliate/scrub
40. Eat dessert first
41. Pizza
42. Some silence
43. Bird song
44. Eat Root vegetables and earthy foods
45. Sniff grapefruit oil
46. Create art (even if it sucks)
47. Throw a living room dance party
48. A hug/physical touch
49. Burn something
50. Go to the beach
51. Plant something
52. Orgasm
53. Make cookies
54. Watch cat videos online
55. Paint rocks and hide them for others to find
56. Drink a glass of water
57. Color your hair
58. Fun underwear
59. Take off your bra
60. Listen to a podcast
61. Look at old family photos
62. Pull a few cards
63. Eat some chili peppers (endorphins)
64. Put socks on
65. Feed a homeless person
66. Look for cool rocks
67. Put your bare feet on grass
68. Paint your toenails
69. Comb your hair
70. Learn a joke to try out on your family
71. Give a small gift to someone/pay it forward
72. Have a glass of wine
73. Sing
74. Look for cool bugs
75. Eat A bowl of cold cereal
76. Hot shower
77. Make 5 nice comments on social media
78. Read funny Amazon reviews
79. Nurture something
80. Fresh sheets (optional: with shaved legs)
81. Search out a meaningful poem
82. Throw rocks
83. Listening to Music/dance/sing
84. Float in water (or take a bath)
85. Eat Pasta or potatoes
86. Organize something (purse, drawer, make up, closet)
87. Play with money (a stack of 1s, 20s, 100s...whatever you got. Feel it, smell it, spend some time with it. Pull it out of the bank and put it back in later that day)
88. Colored light (colored glasses/light bulbs)
89. Stretch (stretching the back releases endorphins)
90. Cuddle a pet
91. Go home
92. Feed the birds
93. Connect with ArchAngel Jophiel
94. Turn off the lights and light some candles
95. Give yourself a facial
96. Wander a cool cemetery
97. Sleep
98. Eat a popsicle
99. Leave sweet notes in public bathrooms

Who Dis?

Rrrrriiing ring

    Hello?

Hi, is this Ms. McClain?

    Mmmm, who dis?

We are calling from the Astrological Fuckery Department of the Cosmic Forum of Earth Fuckery. We are calling today on behalf of Mars, planet getting shit done.

    Oh. I….

We would like to know if you’d like a 2 month subscription to demotivation?

    Well, not re…

Great! We think you’ll really love Mars retrograde. AND what’s more, with that subscription you get almost 2 more bonus months of frustration for absolutely no charge!

    I don’t think I’m ….

Fantastic! We’re so happy we could fuck with you. We’d also like to offer you 3 hours today of cleaning out drawers of junk you haven’t looked at in a decade in as a way of distracting yourself from the actual work you need to do. Doesn’t that sound great?

    No. it sounds dusty and pointless!

Awesome! Please enjoy your 3 hours of wasting time, procrastinating and feeling like not doing jack shit! Your free trial with Mars will end in November, but your full motivation will stay away until January! So exciting! What a great time to be alive. What a great time to feel uninspired! What a great time to lose track of all the projects you’ve wanted to take on! Just in time for nicer weather too!

    I don’t…

Have a wonderful day Ms. McClain. Enjoy your fuckery.

Click



I mean, here’s the transits and shit. But don’t expect to feel like doing anything with or about them. This New Moon in Virgo feels like a turning point to me. I feel like the inner tension will shift directions. If you’re feeling chill Monday through Wednesday, the 2nd half of the week could feel frustrating. And if you start the week feeling frustrated, Thursday through Sunday you may feel a release.

Or you may just sit on the couch and seethe about that thing that happened 5 years ago. That’s ok too... These are bitchscopes, not pollyannascopes. 


9/14 Sun trine Pluto - drive for power, deep and profound experience

9/15 Venus square Uranus - unexpected urges, desire for freedom, relationship hiccups

9/16 Sun quincunx Eris - suppression of discord. Feeling your point of view is stifled

9/16 Sun square Lunar Nodes - a challenge that arises may be the key to a boost in some area of your life.

9/17 Mercury square Jupiter - Lots of information and communication to be had, but sifting through the crap from the useful stuff can be confusing. Tendency to over expand in too many directions

9/17 Moon conjunct Sun (NEW MOON) 4:00 am PDT - Sun conjuncts Moon in Virgo. Virgo’s analytical and organizational skills are highly activated today and each sign can use them to TRY to get things done, even while retrograde Mars makes faces at you. . (Virgo falls in my 4th house, which is why I’ve been going through ancient boxes and drawers, purging old shit, re-purposing other stuff, and organizing my desk)

9/17 Sun trine Saturn - a great transit for self discipline and hard work. This pairs so beautifully with the New Moon, and that Mercury square Jupiter. But if you find yourself staring at a blank computer screen, blame Mars.

9/18 North Node sextile Eris - a beautiful opportunity to meditate on righteous anger. Where and how is it destructive, and where and how can you harness it to move yourself (and maybe others) forward.

9/18 Mercury quincunx Neptune - chill. Don’t try to make rational sense of things. Observe. Listen with your heart, not your brain.

9/19 Sun quincunx Mars - the excitement that turns you on, may also be your detriment. Also, your instinct may be out of tune today.

9/20 Mercury square Pluto - mental obsession. Singular focus. Rabbit holes



ARIES- a reconnection with someone from your past may crop up this week. This is likely someone pretty far back, perhaps even your childhood. There is good energy here, and good memories, which might help you get in touch with some part of yourself that you had put on a shelf, and it could benefit you now. (These are the gifts of retrogrades)


TAURUS - you may feel tempted this week, or start to question your path. Oh Mars retrograde, you’re so cute. This energy may also present itself as denial about something, or fear of a conflict. Are you swallowing your words to keep the peace? This is a trauma response. Get in touch with your inner Mars.


GEMINI - Don’t be reckless this week, or naive about a situation. Idealism can lead to rash decisions and false starts. There is an adventure ahead of you, but you need to pump the breaks and do some recon of the situation and your surroundings. Your dream is more than worthy, just ground yourself.


CANCER- well you’re kinda on fire this week! Your decision making ability is on point. There is also an indication that a period of intense work and planning will start to flower and show fruit. Legal situations look good for you right now as well.


LEO - Well it may not be the smoothest week. You may find yourself emotionally overwhelmed by a current source of conflict. Are you spending too much time dwelling on the past or worrying about the future? Use this earthy new moon in Virgo to ground and clear your head.


VIRGO- Your past is disrupting your present. Your baggage is taking up too much room in your living room. Are you grieving? Or are you just feeling guilty and judging yourself for something in the past? There’s a big difference. Grief is healthy, guilt is not. Do some clearing work.


LIBRA- Your routine or a lifestyle you’ve become accustomed to is likely to become disrupted this week or soon thereafter. It could be a very positive change, but it will still require an adjustment to what you’ve become used to.


SCORPIO - You may feel like withdrawing pretty dramatically. That is, your departure may literally be dramatic, or you may just feel like making your withdrawal kind of extreme. You may feel disappointed or abandoned by someone you’ve trusted. This feels work related. And while it will sting, it is an action taken by you, not at you, and it is a choice. Alternatively, this could be regarding something that you may have stayed in past its expiration date. Walk away and re evaluate.


SAGITTARIUS - You are really close to seeing something made manifest. Your ship is coming in. Your personal empire may experience expansion very soon, or you may find yourself on an airplane. Yes, even during these strange times. It will make you happy. Try to stay in your joy this week.


CAPRICORN - Someone in your life may have made some crappy choices, likely regarding finances. You may feel like the victim of your debtors. Or someone close may fail to support you in a way that was previously secured. This really doesn’t have the direct affect on you that you fear, it is just in your sphere of experience so try not to over react.


AQUARIUS - You may actually benefit in finances this week. The “system” (yes, the one you probably despise) may work in your favor. You will find support and stability after a period of shittiness. And if you need to know if you’re on the right track with something (what came to mind just now when you read that?) - yes. You are.


PISCES - a personal or business partner may let you down this week. But in truth, your expectations may have paved this road. You may also feel unappreciated and like its time to take your ball and go home. If you do, you will find your people and the appreciation you aren’t feeling now.